It's Not About Me

I sometimes think about the end of my life. I am sure all of us do, it is something inevitable to happen, unless of course Jesus were to return sooner.

But that thought used to depress me. Not just to think about the end of my life, but the near end of it. My grandfather, who is a wonderful man, has alzheimer's. I love him a lot, and it is hard sometimes to give him a hug and see on his face that he is struggling to remember who I am.

If I were to develop alzheimer's as I get older, I don't want to go through that pain. I don't want to go through the pain of losing my own parents. The future, as it holds so much end of life, used to scare me a lot.

Not only that but, this is something not everyone will be able to relate to I'm sure, I'm a little weird. But I used to not want to grow older simply because what if I were to get married, and have children, they would begin the prime of their life, and I would have to face the end of mine slowly closing in on me.

I say "used to," because seven months ago, my twin nieces were born.

After they were born, I thought about them a lot, about how they will get older and play together, they'll play on our swingset, and make mud pies in the yard, they'll learn things that I learned when I was younger, and they will have a lot of fun. As they get even older, they will have dreams and aspirations, they'll grow to be teeneagers and start to have bigger responsibilities, the list of things that they will do goes on and on.

Through thinking about them, and then about my own kids if I ever have them, God began to show me that my life really is not about me.

It isn't about others either, since we all will pass away at some time. We may seem to be the centre of our life but we really are not, we can't even control it.

My life, truly, is all about God.

This is so freeing to realize, and I continue to realize it more and more each day. I am relieved of the burden of having a life be all about me, and I am given the freedom to live for someone greater, to be a part of something greater.

If all of our lives were about us, we'd go around doing our thing for however many years we have, and the end of it would truly be a depressing thing.

But since our lives are about Jesus, when we die we can know that it is not the end. His plan will continue to go on, helped by other people who realize that their lives are not about them, and we get to have the satisfation of knowing that we are done our part.