Percy Jackson (Warning: Spoilers)

I just finished reading Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan.

For anyone who does not know what this book is, it's the first in a series about modern Greek mythology, the main character being Percy, who is the son of Poseidon and a mortal woman.

I had mixed emotions about the book. It was intriguing, funny, mostly I would say a good book. On the other hand I couldn't get past a few things about the Greek mythology, because I am a Christian and it is contradictory to what I believe.

But laying that aside, I learned a few things from reading it.

First thing's first, I noticed a distorted version of the truth portrayed. Not just in this book, but in all Greek mythology, there tends to be a male god who has a child with a mortal woman, and the son is the hero of the story. Familiar? It sounds a whole lot like Jesus, being the Son of God and Mary, and being the "hero of the story." The difference is this, the children born of the gods of Greek mythology are half god and half man, and they are born because of immorality, most of the time.

Jesus was FULLY God, and FULLY man, and He was born of a righteous, perfect God, and a virgin.

The key points are left out, but other than that the story is basically the same. Interesting how Satan created a near replica of the truth for the Greeks to believe.

Another thing I noticed was this,

Percy goes to a camp called Camp Half-Blood, where they train all of the demi-gods. When he gets there he meets a lot of kids who are hurting, they feel depressed and sort of rejected, because their god-parent doesn't seem to care about them. Percy had the same sort of feeling, and it is totally reasonable, we naturally want to have a relationship with our parents. I think if we had a parent who was a god and they really didn't care if we lived or died or if they ever got to see us, we would feel rejected too.

I don't remember if Percy says it, or how the message gets across, but there is an attitude of, "It's not unreasonable for our parents to not care about us, they are gods. They have more important things I worry about."

Percy spends a loooong time journeying before he gets to meet his father, but when he does he only gets to see him for about two minutes and then he has to leave. He leaves knowing that may be his last time ever seeing him.

I have grown up hearing Pastors say that God is a personal God. I know that. It does mean a lot to me, but I can't really grasp the full meaning because I have grown up having the emphasis on how personal He is, and not how sovereign He is.

But I realized as I read the book that God is every bit as God as these gods are, and waaaaay more. Yet He doesn't ignore His children. He wants us, He wants a relationship with us.

And the other thing is that we don't have to make a long perilous journey to talk to Him for two minutes! (and be afraid of whether He will punish us for wasting His time) We get to be with Him 24/7!

Our God is so much better than the Greek gods.

The Things We Do

I came to a lovely realization a while ago. Actually...I'm not sure if I thought it was lovely at the time, but now that I have thought about it more, I love it.

This is it in a nutshell, What we do does not define who we are.

I have known this to be true for a long time. Having struggled with self worth I realized a long time ago that what I do does not make me who I am, but Who I believe in.

My identity is in Christ, He says I am righteous and so I am, because what the world sees in me is fault, but God sees who He has made me to be, which is faultless.

This has been enormously helpful for me, and still will continue to be I am sure, but there is another side of it that I had not thought about until recently.

I love it because it builds me up, it shows me that I am more than I think I am sometimes. But now I love it too because when it needs to it breaks me down, it makes me humble.

If the bad things that I do do not make me bad, then surely the good things I do will not make me good.

I made some notes after first thinking about the second side of this, and here is some of what I wrote.

"We lay uncovered before God and He sees our hearts, and He sees who believes. He does not count us "good" or "bad" based on our actions, but based on who we put our trust in.

The world likes to label everyone based on what they do. If you paint pictures for a living, they call you "An artist." If you rule a kingdom, they call you a "king" or a "queen," if you do a lot of good things, they call you a "good person," but this is all external stuff."

If I can as easily say, "I am nothing because I have done wrong," as I can say, "I am better than other people because I have done right," then isn't judging based on what I do or achieve a flawed judgment?

Again, it points me back to Christ.

The only way I can be good is through Christ, I am shown this by both ways of thinking, whether it is that Christ defines who I am or...I guess they both are that Christ defines who I am. And that is it, plain and simple.

For by grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. (Ephesians 2:8)

Will It Fit Inside the Frame?

My dad said a while ago, that he has found that we each are given a glimpse of a part of who God is. Then, since we do not see the whole picture, we do the most logical thing possible, we build the rest of the picture ourselves, so that it makes sense with the part we learned.

We end up with a box with a frame around it and we refuse to look outside of the frame. But really, the only truth in our little frame is the little piece that God showed us.

I agreed with this because, I will sheepishly admit, it made sense, and made no sense at the same time. It seemed right, yet I had no personal experience I was relating it to.

Recently I have discovered a frame that I have built, and that frame is slowly being taken down as God reveals more of Himself to me.

Here it is. When I became a Christian, I was overwhelmed by God's love because I knew I did not deserve it. But the mark I knew that I had not hit was not based on old testament laws, or even the ten commandments, it was based solely on the innate sense of what righteousness was.

who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them. (Romans 2:15)

I have always known that God is just, and His wrath is not a thing to take lightly, and I understand the consequence of sin. However...man, this is difficult to put into words, I am still kind of turning this over in my head.

When I think about God, generally I think only about His love, His grace, His mercy. I have had a difficult time understanding what it means to fear God.

I would say that I do fear God, I fear Him with the fear that I would have for a father, it is a respect of His authority over me and ability to punish me, but with love at the same time. This is how I have always looked at the word fear when it is written in the bible in reference to God.

My only other experience with fear is a nightmarish sort of terror that I cannot imagine God wanting His children to think of Him as.

But recently I have been reading in Exodus, Deuteronomy, Numbers, and seeing God displeased with someone, and His response is, "Stone them. They don't get a second chance." Quite frankly, I was horrified. My experience with God as a loving, caring God, was not matching up with this.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that a while ago God was showing me how He was the same, old testament and new. So now...reading this, it was almost uprooting that belief.

I couldn't deal with myself being horrified at God, so I prayed earnestly that He would show me how this fits, because I did not want to be upset with the only One in my life who is never changing and ever loving.

He answered my prayer, and first began by showing me that He has absolutely 0 tolerance for sin. Without a perfect atonement for sin, He could not allow even the smallest defect to corrupt His people. 

But. He did love. With an even greater love than I had yet comprehended, He loved these people that were so full of defect. BECAUSE He loved them, He sent His only Son, and that is where the old testament and the new testament collide, where God could not let His people go on being struck down like that, because He loved them too much.

Anyway, as I said He has begun to show me this, so I do not fully understand the wrath of God, but the reason I am now open to this is because He broke down my frame and showed me that His wrath is not opposite His love, but they can work hand in hand, and that is why I was able to get that first glimpse of Love, because His wrath had to be satisfied.

There is a line I found in a blog post somewhere on the Internet, that was really good I thought. It goes like this, "The price of diluting God's wrath is diminishing God's holiness." -D.A. Carson

So my question now is not "Will it fit in the frame?" but "God, what is the frame?"

And now for an announcement. I have tried to be updating every week, which, anyone who has kept up with me knows has been failing since the beginning. But I just thought I would let you know anyway that I will be offline starting tomorrow until December 1st, so don't expect any blog posts within the next three weeks.

Have a lovely November, and God bless! :)

According to My Righteousness

You might be tired of hearing me say that I am struggling. I seem to be struggling emotionally a lot. In fact, I am a little sick of it myself. But I have been realizing over the past little while that everyone's journey is different, some struggle more than others, and it is not about what people think of me, but what God does.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

This being said, I have been struggling. Part of my struggle is that I want to be near to God, I want to be close to Him, but when it comes down to it in my day, there are two options, read the bible or play a game, I choose play a game. And then I get mad at myself for that at the end of the day, and the next day goes the exact same way.

One day I was feeling the burden of this very badly, so I picked up my bible and read Psalm 18. (without knowing what it was about first)

In case you don't know Psalm 18 by memory, it starts like this, 

I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies. The pangs of death surrounded me, And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid. The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me; The snares of death confronted me. (Psalms 18:1-5)

I was feeling this. In the same words I used when talking about this to my cousin, "This is me." The struggle was feeling like the pangs of death because I knew if I did not seek God I would fall away from Him. I knew I was choosing death over life. I kept reading,

In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears. (Psalms 18:6)

Since I was relating so well to the earlier part, I took this part to heart. I had called out to God in my distress. He had heard me.

 Then the earth shook and trembled; The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry. Smoke went up from His nostrils, And devouring fire from His mouth; Coals were kindled by it. He bowed the heavens also, and came down With darkness under His feet. And He rode upon a cherub, and flew; He flew upon the wings of the wind. He made darkness His secret place; His canopy around Him was dark waters And thick clouds of the skies. From the brightness before Him, His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire. The Lord thundered from heaven, And the Most High uttered His voice, Hailstones and coals of fire. He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, The foundations of the world were uncovered At Your rebuke, O Lord, At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils. (Psalms 18:7-15)

Wow. This part just reminded me how mighty and powerful God is, and this wrath that it is describing here, is not something you want to mess with. AND, this anger is on my behalf. That was the craziest part, because of the struggle that I was having, God was angry.

He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. (Psalm 18:16)

Again, I was translating this to myself.

  He delivered me from my strong enemy, From those who hated me, For they were too strong for me.They confronted me in the day of my calamity, But the Lord was my support. (Psalm 18:17-18)

AGAIN, this was exactly how I felt. "For they were too strong for me," was practically my own thoughts on paper. I was too weak to fight this. But then there was a promise, "But the Lord was my support."

He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because He delighted in me. (Psalm 18:19)

He delights in me! Me! Even though I was struggling to just seek Him, He still saved me because He delighted in me. This was making me so grateful, so amazed, so in awe...but then, I read the next part.

The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness; According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me. (Psalm 18:20)

Come on. The whole reason I was struggling in the first place was because I was NOT righteous. All of the previous happiness caused by the other verses was shattered. It only got worse.

For I have kept the ways of the Lord, And have not wickedly departed from my God. For all His judgments were before me, And I did not put away His statutes from me^. I was also blameless before Him, And I kept myself from my iniquity. Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness, According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight. (Psalm 18:21-24)

I don't know what made me think this, I guess it was God, but all of a sudden I remembered someone saying the words, "Jesus is my righteousness."

I read verse 24 again with that perspective, as though when it says 'my righteousness,' it is saying 'Jesus.'

That was so amazing. And so true. That was the whole purpose for which He died, so that we would not have to be recompensed according to our own righteousness because our righteousness would never be enough.

Look back at those verses, 21-24, read them all again with that thought. That is what I did. As though the things he is claiming are things Jesus is claiming of Himself. It is all totally true.

By the time I got to the bottom I was overwhelmed with a new sense of gratefulness, that Jesus would die to be my righteousness. And when I read the end of verse 24 again, According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight. I remembered another saying that I have heard many times, that when Jesus is your savior, when God looks at you He doesn't see sinful you, but perfect Jesus.

When He looks at me, He sees clean hands, and a pure heart, because that is what My Righteousness gave me.

Two Bundles of Blessing

Hello everyone,

I am sorry, I have not posted in a very long time. I know, I say this practically every other post. :P

Anyways, the truth of the reason for this long pause is nothing good, all I have is the confession that I have had nothing to post. It is a confession because it is not that God has not been blessing me, but that I have not made an effort recently to look in my life for the little blessings that I am supposed to be writing about.

So yeah, that's my whole reason. I will try to look harder now, so starting today hopefully I will be able to see more clearly the ways that God is showing up around me, and I would encourage you to pray for eyes to see Him too.

My first post after my little break is about two blessings that are kinda hard to ignore...

My nieces!

I wrote about them in one of my last posts, the latter half of All The Things!!!!, and now they are here! They were born a few days ago and we were all surprised with two little girls. They are adorable.

 I am loving being an aunt, and I look forward to watching them grow.

I feel...incredibly blessed. As I look at their parents, my sister and brother in law, I know that they will be good parents and good examples, and the reason is because of their parents, being good parents and good examples to them. I have to praise God as I look around me at my family, my parents, my grandparents, and my siblings, (including my brother in law) and now at the newest additions to our family. God is good, He has been blessing us all our lives through the amazing legacy of people in our family who have sought after Him.

This inspires me to seek Him too, because I know that I can continue to live out this legacy, continue to be a part of the blessing that is my family, and continue to pass that blessing down to future generations.

Exodus 20:6 says, "...but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments."

Have a great day!

Opening Doors Part 2: Closed

Hi everyone!

I know, it has been a long while since I posted, but I have a very good reason for that.

Two posts ago I talked about a cool thing that was unfolding in my life, (Opening Doors Part 1: Knocking) if you haven't read that, you should read it before you continue reading this.

I ended that post with the promise that I would post again with the results of that story as Opening Doors Part 2: Open, or Opening Doors Part 2: Closed.

Well, fairly soon after I wrote that I found out the results. I watched a video for Academie Ste Cecile, and decided it was not for me, so I was fully intending to post right away. But just then my computer stopped working. So I was not able to.

To be honest, as I looked at the situation, I was confused. I didn't have enough money to go to the Dance Barre, and the other studio was not going to work out. Why? It seemed so clear. I was open to the idea of that not being God's plan, but I just didn't understand why it wouldn't be.

Then I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine who lives in Ottawa, and she mentioned this dance camp there and said I should come. I know that that studio teaches really good technique, and it is a Christian studio, so I was all for it. I looked into the details and because of the whole Corn Detasseling thing, I would have enough money to go.

It just got better and better from there, I found out that my cousins were going to be going, and I could probably get a ride with them, and it was all perfect. THIS must have been what God was doing, I was sure of it. I had total confidence that God would provide, that He would work everything out, again I was open to it not being His will, but I couldn't see any reason for it not to be.

But then all of a sudden it just all crashed. I couldn't get a ride with my cousins and my dad is really busy so for him to drive me and stuff...it just was not working. On top of that I would have to ask for days off of Corn Detasseling because the season got pushed later and later, so I though it would be done in time, but it turned out it wouldn't be.

When I was planning that out, I was thinking about how my computer was not working, and conveniently not allowing me to post that the doors were closed, but it stayed not working the entire time I was planning the Ottawa trip, and now that that is off, it finally works. Convenient.

And now I have to say the same thing as before, I am confused. It did seem clear, and I don't think I have ever had so much confidence that something would work out as I have in this whole process, so I don't understand.

But I once heard someone say that God never closes a door without opening a window, and I believe that He has a window for me. I don't know what it is, but when it opens it will be better than the doors He closed, so I am fine with that.

Thank you everybody who has been praying for me!

In The Good Times and The Bad

God is good.

I see those words all the time. I hear them often, and I even say them often.

This blog is pretty much all about how God is good.

When I am feeling happy or just realizing how blessed I am I like to praise Him for being so amazing. I post Facebook statuses like, "God is good." "God is so good!" "God is good, all the time!"

But today was just "one of those days."

I was confused, I was upset, I felt burdened and I didn't even know why. I was praying that God would take me out of this frame of mind but instead I was hit with the words, "God is good."

I know that, I thought. I wish I was happy so I could post that on Facebook, or write a blog post about it, or even a journal entry, or just tell someone... But then I realized, Why can't I?

I have said God is good all the time. In the good times and the bad. I believed that with my whole heart when I was happy, and I still believed it when I was upset, but that made me ask myself, "Why can't I?"

I was not "feeling blessed." I knew I was blessed, I believed it, but I was upset. I was not happy, so I felt like I could not say something that portrays happiness unless I had a reason for happiness.

The best thing is that I don't need a reason for momentary happiness, because I have a reason for everlasting joy.
Happiness is fleeting, it can come in an instant and leave just as fast. But joy is not a feeling, it is a choice, and that choice is ultimately believing that Jesus is the Son of God and He died to save you.

I have a reason to be joyful, even when I am sad, because no matter how I feel, Jesus loves me. He died for me.

I hoped that by the end of thinking about how Jesus loves me I would be happy, but I was not. I felt the same. Except for one thing. I didn't feel like I needed to be happy anymore.

This day will pass, as will this feeling.

I am content, despite my other feelings of depression, because these feelings are temporary, they are lies of Satan and can only stay so long. But my joy is not fleeting, my joy will still be there when I emerge from the bog that I find myself in, I will see it there shining bright as day, and I will feel it better then.

For now I just need to trust that I am safe. God is holding me even when I can't feel Him, and He has my heart. He has my joy.


Yes, God is good.

ALL THE TIME.

Opening Doors Part 1: Knocking

Hey there!

I had the most amazing phone conversation a few days ago, and it is making me think that maybe God is doing something really cool. I don't know where this will end, whether it will be the way I want it or not, but I decided to post about the way it has been going thus far, and I will write a second part once I find out the outcome.

So here it is.

If anyone has been interested enough to go to Bracelets for Ballet on the right side of this page, has read my About Me section, or has read either of my earlier posts, A Familar Smile, or Encourager, you will know already that I am aspiring to be a ballerina.

For the longest time I have wanted to take lessons but have had virtually no means of doing so. I have taken a few random classes throughout the year as well as a week-long dance camp coming up in August again. I am 15 years old and probably in grade 2 ballet.

I decided a while ago that I was going to buckle down and take lessons this year if I possibly could, but it was like there was a row of doors in my face, all of them closed.

Door #1: A Studio

I had looked into a whole bunch of different studios in Windsor and had come to the conclusion that the only one I was interested in was the Dance Barre, which is a secular studio and VERY stressful according to what I have heard about it. Also it is not very convenient for my mother to drive me out to where it is twice-three times a week.

But we would make it happen, if I was able to raise the money for it.

But just a little while ago, we heard about a Catholic studio called Academie Ste Cecile, which "just happens" to have a lot of people I know who go there and they all love it. It also "just happens" to be way easier for Mom to drive me to.

Note: I am still undecided between the two, because I don't know all of the details about Academie Ste Cecile yet.

Door #2: Technique

As I just mentioned, I don't know all about Ste Cecile yet. The number one thing I am concerned about is ballet technique. But in order to tell if a studio teaches good technique, you have to watch a video of their dancers. I emailed the teacher and asked for a video, but they don't show videos of their dancers to other people, so that seemed like a deal breaker. The Dance Barre it was.

But then I found out that a good friend of mine takes lessons there! She has a recital video from a few years ago and so I will get to see that.

Also, another big deciding factor was that most studios decided what class you are going to be in according to your age. That is NOT a good thing. They should place you in classes according to your ability and experience. I asked about this, and they decide according to ability, not age.

Door #3: Money

On our Bracelets for Ballet Facebook page I started a weekly update of "This is how much money I need, this is how long I have to get it." But since you can't charge tons of money for bracelets, the money was slow coming in, although I was getting lots of business.

I had asked the Dance Barre if there is any way I can work in exchange for a discount, but that was not possible.

I thought to myself one day, It would take a miracle for this to happen. It would literally take someone walking up to me and saying, "Here's a thousand dollars."

Then we heard about this crew that goes out in the summer and works in corn fields, detasseling the corn. The pay is extremely high, though the work is extremely hard. (If you want to check it out, you can go to their website here - http://www.corncrew.com/)
They were supposed to have closed the registration already, but for "some reason," they left them open late and we got them in.

Then I got a phone call from the teacher at Academie Ste Cecile, and she answered all of my questions super helpfully, she was soooo nice, I really want her to be my teacher. When I emailed her, I had asked if there was any way I could work for a discount, and she gave me the answer to that on the phone. There are three girls doing that right now, what they call a Working Scholarship, but one of them, again, "just happens" to maybe not be able to do it this upcoming school year, so she said she would put me down as first in line for that position if she can't do it.

That scholarship gives you a HALF PRICE discount! Although it is an amazing discount, I would still need about $300 IF I get the working scholarship.

Door #4: Corn Detasseling

Even though we got our applications in, we found out that there were hundreds of other applicants, so the chances of us getting the job were not that great.

It made it even worse when we found out later that they had already hired a whole bunch of people from previous years, so that made the chance even smaller!

Yesterday I was doing something for my dad, and my sister who applied with me came over to tell me that we got accepted, but we missed the replying date, and our jobs were given to people on the waiting list.

I just prayed, barely hoping, that we would somehow still get it, and when I went back to our room it turned out that she had made a mistake and we still had about a week to respond!


It seemed like those doors were not going to open. I didn't think they would. But God has been opening them, one at a time and just in the right time, I am amazed again at what He is doing.

My hope is that He will proceed to open the remaining doors, #1: Technique, and #2: The Working Scholarship. Either that or open the Money door for the Dance Barre, but honestly I would prefer Academie Ste Cecile.

But it is all in His hands. :) I don't know why He would open so many doors only to close them again, but if He does, His plan is perfect and I just need to trust Him with it.

So I will post again when I find out about the technique, either with the title being Opening Doors Part 2: Open, or Opening Doors Part 2: Closed.

I can't wait to see what God is doing!

All The Things!!!!

HI!!!!! :D

Happiness overload.

Oh yes.

SO. I have not blogged in a really long time, partly due to computer issues, and before that, lack of things to write about.

But in the time that I have not been able to blog, I have had so many things to write about, I don't think I will remember them all.

The first one that I'll mention happened yesterday, and this is just one of those kinds of moments that I think I have shared before and most Christians reading this will recognize. I was really having a bad day. I'm not going to share exactly why, but I felt really upset, and I was trying to do good and be...good, I guess. But everything was just failing and I felt like it was my fault and I just couldn't do anything right.

As I mentioned before, my computer has not been working, so as I was pretty much at my wit's end, I was finally able to get on Facebook and the first thing I read was, "I wish I could express how good God is."

I knew I needed to be reminded. I know He is good all the time but sometimes He feels a million miles away, so I read on.

There was more about how good He is, but what really spoke to me was the verse,

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  (Psalm 34:13-18)

Oh man.

I would not call myself righteous by definition, but the bible says that I am righteous. Abraham was called righteous because of his faith, and God calls me righteous for the same reason. So I believe that God put this verse there at that time for me to read, because He knew I needed to be reminded that His eyes are toward me and He hears my cry, when I cried for help He heard me, and He will deliver me from my troubles. He is near to me and He will save me.

Ahhhhhh........

Anyways, so that was the first thing. This is going to be a long post, sorry guys. :P

The second thing is this, does anyone remember my post from November called A Day To Remember? It was about my sister who had a miscarriage. Since then she is pregnant again, this time with TWINS! 

But there is a problem. She has a negative blood type and her husband is positive, that means that the babies have a 50/50 chance of getting either positive or negative. So if she happens to be carrying a positive baby, her body can develop antibodies which can potentially attack the baby. You are supposed to get a shot to prevent them from forming if you are a negative blood type.

We didn't know this at first, so during her first pregnancy that is what happened.

Once they develop though, there is no getting rid of them, they are there to stay, and will be a danger to all future pregnancies. They can't shrink either, they only grow. It is scientifically impossible for them to go away.

But we believe in miracles. :)

At our prayer meeting at church, we have been praying for these babies, and we have been praying the impossible, that the antibodies will disappear.

A few weeks later my sister came home from her midwife appointment to report that her midwife was astonished to find that they had shrunk. They were so small they were barely traceable, and she really didn't know whether to worry about them or not.

We didn't stop praying though, we kept praying that they would go away completely, and as of a few weeks ago, they are GONE.

Completely. Disappeared.

HALLELUJAH!! :D

AND, if you want more miracles, read this earlier post if you haven't already, So Strong, and then check out what is happening with these twins, https://www.facebook.com/senntwins

Have a great day!

Encourager

My God is an Encourager.

And for this, I am blessed.

Recently I have been wrestling with a lot of discouragement. So I have been praying for some kind of encouragement. In any form really, I'm not picky.

On Friday I went to a craft show to sell bracelets, (if you don't know what that is all about, read 'Bracelets for Ballet' on the right side of the screen) it was a three day show, Friday night, and then Saturday and Sunday.

So the last two days were much like any other show, except a bit slower.

But then today was like a "Hey! You asked for encouragement, you're gonna get it!" kind of day. :D

This may not seem so awesome to you guys just reading this, but to me, it meant a lot.

I met a girl on Friday who told me today that she is a professional dancer. She told me good luck with our bracelets and gave me some contact information and said that she does free dance workshops sometimes if I was interested.

That was super exciting!

And then after that a girl came over and asked where I was planning on taking dance lessons. I told her either the Dance Barre or Academie Ste Cecile, and she said she works at the Dance Barre! How crazy is that?
She bought a bracelet and then continued on her way. A few minutes later I saw her talking with a guy who I assumed was her brother, and in a few seconds he came my way with a five dollar bill in hand.

He came up and said that he doesn't really wear bracelets, so he didn't want to buy anything, but he said he liked what I was doing, and he wanted to support me. "My sister is a dancer," he said, "and for someone to not get lessons...that really hits home for me."

That made me so happy...you have no idea. :)

Talking with these three people really made me realize how many people come by and buy a bracelet just to support us. It makes me really grateful.

I feel like someday if I become a professional dancer, I will be in some interview, and I'll be like, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God, my parents, etc. etc., and I just want to thank that one guy at a craft show a long time ago who told me never to give up, and that lady at another craft show who told me I was pretty and to keep on going, and that other guy at the same craft show as the lady who gave me twenty dollars!" At this point I will look at the person who is interviewing me, "Can you believe that? TWENTY DOLLARS! For a THREE DOLLAR BRACELET." Then I will keep going, "And that little boy who only had a quarter but he gave it to me so I could take ballet, and that one..." The reporter will probably have to shut me up. I have had so many people that I am so grateful for, who didn't know me, but just felt like blessing me. :)

These people are so encouraging, and I know it is God who used them to encourage me.

He is my Encourager.

He is awesome.

His Beautiful Picture

Good afternoon y'all! Or Good Whatever-time-of-day-it-happens-to-be-when-you-read-this, I am sure it can be just as fabulous as any other time of day. :)

I am thinking of actually changing this blog to a Bible insights/God sightings blog, because that is what the majority of my posts seem to be about...what do you think? Please comment and let me know.

Anyways, so, I don't have a specific passage or anything to talk about, I just had a really cool mental image the other day that I wanted to share.

For anyone who has not read my earlier post, Reading Genesis Again, I am going through the old testament with a new perspective. The new perspective is that, instead of just reading it for face value, I am searching for prophecies about Jesus, places it mentions Jesus, or just things that resemble the character of God, that I would not have noticed before. I am still in Genesis, but a lot further along than I was when I wrote that.

So the other day I was reading, and I came across a place that prophesied about Jesus.

Thinking about this, I thought about life as a story. God is the Author, and we are His characters. He is writing the story, and He is in every page, holding it all together.

This brought on a new train of thought, thinking of life as a tapestry. God is the Weaver, and we are His threads. From our perspective, all we see is a mess of thread, because we are part of it, we do not have the point of view to see what He is weaving.

Then I thought, He is weaving a picture of Himself. He is throughout the picture, in every part of it, He IS the picture, He IS the life.

That brought on a new thought, I thought about war. The holocaust. How death and pain are also throughout history, how can that make a beautiful picture?

Again, we are too near sighted. We don't see it from the Weaver's perspective.

Every time there is war, every time there is hurt, the blood stains the thread.

In the end, when the picture is finished, it will be a picture of Him, the stained threads His wounds that He endured for our sake.

It won't JUST be a picture of Him, I realized, it will be a picture of what He did. It will show that the mistakes we made that stained the tapestry, He made them stain Him, so that the picture would be perfect.

 So remember that whatever you are going through at any time in your life, you don't see the bigger picture. You may just see a mess of thread, but God can use it to weave His beautiful picture.

Standing Alone

I just wanted to share a cool picture I got a few days ago.

On June 7th, at Marlborough School, put on by Ambassador Baptist Church in West Windsor, we are having a carnival to reach out into the community. (If you want to come, information is at the bottom)

So a few days ago, myself and two of my siblings went around to the neighborhood houses delivering cards for it, and one house I came to had a really interesting thing in front of their porch.

There was a beautiful single tall yellow tulip beside the steps, it far out-shone the flowers around it. But the others, for whatever reason, were all bend away from it, as though they were avoiding it.

At first I just thought it was weird, but as I thought about it, I came to realize that it shows a picture of what the world is like.

God is awesome.

The more I know about Him, the closer I come to Him, to more I realize that. He seems to get better and better every time I learn something new.

I feel like something that beautiful should attract people, should draw them in, but instead, they are all shrinking away. Leaning as far away from Him as they can, even though their stems might break because they are so bent.

I just thought that was cool.




And now for anyone who is interested in the carnival that we are putting on, here is the card with the details. :)

A Familiar Smile

Siblings are gifts.

This is something I learned again yesterday.

Yesterday was just one of those days. I probably seemed totally normal to everyone around me, but through most of the day I was fighting a battle inside my head, trying to weakly fight off attacks of "You aren't good enough," "You'll never achieve your goals," "You can never work hard enough," etc., and failing miserably.

Near the end of the day, I was stretching after a ballet class in my living room, and I came to a point where I looked over and saw my sister who is way more flexible than I am, and pretty nearly had a break down.

But just then my older sister walked in and started to make me laugh. Within seconds I had forgotten the weight of the day and was able to laugh and appreciate her company.

I thought about it a lot afterwards. It's amazing how big a blessing something as simple as talking and laughing can be.

And I am thankful for the familiar faces around me, the ones that can snap me out of a depressed mood simply by walking over and smiling.

In This World You Will Have Trouble...

Hey again!

So...in the beginning when I created this blog, I was meaning for it to be just looking into life's blessings and showing them to Christians and non Christians alike, but as I keep posting, my posts are more and more from a Christian perspective.

I hope you guys don't mind, there is just too much that I love about God to not post it on here.

So, I have another one. :) Surprise!

If anyone has checked out my business that I own with my two little sisters, you will probably have discovered that we are trying to raise a lot of money for ballet lessons and time is our enemy.

Recently I have been feeling very overwhelmed by it, because I feel like there is no way I am going to get the money when I need it, and I won't be able to take lessons.

Some of you might say, "Well that is okay, just save up for next year."

The problem with this is that I am already 15 years old, and that is LATE to be starting taking lessons. If I want to be a professional someday, ideally, I should have started when I was 2 or 3.

So I am feeling the pressure. A lot. And I really want to take lessons this year.

I keep telling myself that if God wants me to get lessons, He will make sure I get lessons. I am doing my best to raise the money, so I need to leave it in His hands. But then I get bombarded with thoughts like, What if He doesn't want you to take lessons? What if He wants you to do more than you are doing to raise money? What if... The doubts never end.

But then yesterday I went to prayer meeting at our church, and my dad read John 16 to open up, and right at the end this verse just stood out like it was taking up the whole page, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

I can have peace in Him. I can rest in Him. The matter is really in His hands.

In this world I will have trouble, I will have doubts and fears, and maybe I will never get to take dance lessons, but He tells me to take heart, because HE HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD.

"Mary."

Wow, yeah, it's been a while.

Sorry about that.

But here I am again, and I have something AMAZING to say! Well, it is amazing to me. I hope someone else is amazed as well.

I have always known this, it's one of those things that Christians grow up hearing all of their lives, and then one day you are just like, "WOW! Seriously?!?! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!"

This thought came from our Easter Sunday service at church, in which our pastor was talking about Mary Magdalene.

In case anybody doesn't know who she is, you can read about her in Matthew 27:56, 61; 28:1; Mark 15:40, 47; 16:1-19; Luke 8:2; 24:10; John 19:25; 20:1-18. Although if you are going to read these, I suggest reading before and after these verses, because these don't tell you the story, they just tell you where she is mentioned.

Mary Magdalene has been one of my favorite women bible characters ever since I first read Luke 8:2,
And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,...

I've always felt like I can relate to her, because when I became a Christian, I was lifted out of TONS of bondage. It was like a million pound weight had been lifted off of my back, and I know that the more God brought me out of, the greater reason I have to be thankful.

I didn't have seven demons. Mary was under that much more bondage, she had that much more weight on her back, and Jesus lifted it off for her just as He lifted mine off for me.

So although I know I did not come from nearly the same place that she did, I have always felt like, We both have so much to be thankful for.

Before I go on to my awesome moment, I want to tell you another thing which made it even better. I am not a very quick learner. When it comes to bible stuff I feel a little bit helpless, and like I want to know these things, I want to know about Jesus, but I can't, because I don't know how to teach myself, I don't know how to study. So for years I have been asking God, "Teach me, because I can't do it on my own. I don't know how to study, so show me. I don't know how to understand, so open my eyes and teach me."

And He answers prayer! He has been teaching me all the way, and I know that He will continue to teach me. He is my Teacher.

So when our pastor was reading the story, and he came to John 20:16, (read before this before reading on, if you have not before. It makes it all that much better.) Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

That is about enough to make my heart stop.

All He said was her name, but she knew it was Him. That...I can't even...just WOW. Hearing that was like hearing Jesus saying, "Keturah." It was Him talking to His friend, He didn't just say her name, He said it in a personal way because He knew her personally. He knows me! He knew her! And He knows me! He knows my name. This is so amazing.

And then, in response, she turned and said to Him, "Teacher!" Another personal thing, because He taught her. Not just as a face in the crowd, but He taught her. And He teaches me. 

I'm sorry if I am really repetitive, I am never sure if I made the point clear enough.

Have a great day, and know that you are not just a face in the crowd, but Jesus knows you, and He knows your name. Listen for it, He's calling it.

I Can Never Seem to Be Thankful Enough

Today I am thankful for SO many things!

I just came home from ten days spent at my cousins' house in Lansing, Michigan. The week was super fun, I got new books, (most people who know me would know that that alone excites me like crazy) I got to spend time with my awesome uncle and aunt and cousins, and go to a bunch more places...you don't need all of the details. Let's just say it was a lot of fun.

Anyways, when I returned home and looked back on the week I was just amazed at how God has blessed me!

Not only has He blessed me like crazy with the things that I have and the country that I live in, but He has blessed me with the family that I have and the friends that I have.

I want to tell you a little bit about my cousins.

A few years ago they took a HUGE step of faith towards Europe. They traveled, (the whole family, three kids and two parents) to Ukraine to adopt a little girl named Kataryna.

Kataryna is severely disabled and (was) extremely malnourished. Her body was completely straight, this is what she looked like.

 

They went through a long adoption process with lots of difficulties and nearly lost her many times, but they have trusted God to pull them through every situation, and He has.

They are still looking to move forward, they have done work on her knees so that they can bend, and I believe are now looking into surgery so that her hips can bend and she can sit.

Through their faith and faithfulness, this is what she looks like now.

 

(If you would like to read about her and their family's story you can HERE.)

When we arrived home after this trip, we came home to a loving family, and then we went to our church's nightly prayer meeting, where we have close friends who are all bound together with one purpose, to build the kingdom of God and to seek His face.

I love the legacy that I live in.

I am surrounded by godly people who love me! It is AMAZING!

I am just so encouraged by this, I can't express it.

I don't deserve the circumstances that God has put me in. I don't deserve the amount of love with which He loves me.

Miracles

Good morning! :)

I don't know how many of you have looked at the Senn Twins Facebook page since I posted about them, (read my earlier post, So Strong) but one of their recent updates was about Ellanie, saying that they were heading to the hospital, most likely to say goodbye. She was on life support and was not seeming to turn the corner, so they expected she would not make it.

But yesterday, they posted, "We are so thankful as this evening ends that both of the babies are currently stable." 

PRAISE THE LORD!!! He is GOOD!!

Please continue to pray for them as they are both still very sick, but it has been over a week and both of them are stable.

What I loved the most about the post they put out yesterday was this, they said, "We also received great news from her brain scan that her bleeding has disappeared! The Dr thought it was a mistake at first because she said that its nearly impossible. We just smile because it is impossible...which reminds us that only God can receive the credit for it."

God is faithful, and He is working wonders in this family's lives!

My dad sometimes reminds people, and I love the way he says this, that, "God is still in the miracle business." He didn't just work miracles in the "Bible times," but He is the same God with the same kind of power that He had back then.

Please keep praying for them and keep passing the word around, your prayers are working.

If you want to know more about Malachi and Ellanie Senn or would like to receive their updates, click on this - Senn Twins, to get to their Facebook page.

So Strong

Hallo again!

I have been meaning to make blogging a weekly thing, but I don't want to blog if I have nothing special to blog about, so I have not done it for the past...about 13 days. I apologize.

BUT.

I believe that there was a reason I felt no strong urge to post earlier, and the reason has just revealed itself now.

Please, anyone who reads this, share it on Facebook, tell your friends about, get the word around.

We have just been made aware that one of our family's friends from a long time ago just gave birth to twins at 24 WEEK AND 4 DAYS.

They weigh only about 1 pound each, (a little over a pound I think, I don't know the exact weight) and have only 20% chance of survival.

The mother's name is Naomi Senn and the babies are Malachi and Ellanie. The Senns also have a little boy.


Naomi has left the hospital for the night leaving the babies in the care of the doctors and nurses, and will be going back tomorrow, please pray that these twins will be alive and breathing when she gets back!

Also that there will be complete healing and normal development in their bodies, as, were they to survive, this situation could cause damage in a number of ways physically.

If you want to find out more about them, look at their Facebook page Here.


As I heard about this I was just in awe at how these babies are so strong. They are so tiny, and can barely breath, yet, without any real reason in their minds, they struggle and are still alive.

Praise God for these tiny lives! Praise God for His ability to make something SO small be SO strong! They are so precious to Him, and I don't think He would ever want them to suffer. Your prayers are really appreciated.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)

Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant

A few days ago I attended an amazing funeral.

I haven't been to many funerals, and all of the ones I have been to were Christian funerals, so I can't say much about the comparison, but I can tell you what I found outstanding about it.

I didn't know the man very well, I had only met him in person once I think, maybe twice, but I knew just from the brief moments that I talked with him that he was a very godly man.

When I had just become a Christian I decided that I didn't want to call myself a Christian. I didn't want to tell anyone, I wanted them to figure it out for themselves. I wanted the way I acted, the way I spoke, even just the general way I portrayed myself to be all about Jesus. I thought that if I was a Christian, then I had Jesus in me, right? People say that the eyes are the windows to your soul, so if Jesus is in me, they should be able to see Jesus in my eyes.

This man had Jesus in his eyes. :)

The thing that amazed me about his funeral was that he planned it, and it portrayed what he loved most.

Jesus Christ.

And it was evident.

Right on the front of the program, (picked by himself) was 1 Samuel 2:30, Those who honor Me I will honor.

The verse was proven correct. There were tons of people there, all of them there because in some way or other, he had affected their lives and they wanted to honor him. He was honored by the number of people that were there, by the things that were said about him, by the tears shed for him, and by being taken to a place reserved for the people that Jesus loves. More than we can imagine God has honored him. All because he honored God in his life, and that was what he wanted to show. He wanted to tell people that if you honor God, God will honor you.

I love how even though the event was about him, he still pointed everything back to Christ.

Even though I knew him but for a short time, and I don't know that he even knew my name, I count in as a blessing to have met him. He was a great man, and a great example.

I realized as I stood and sang one of the hymns that this is what I wanted my funeral to be like. I don't want it to be about me. I want people to see that I loved God, and I want people to see how great He is.

I want my funeral to be celebration, because God has at last taken me to a place that I don't deserve to go to, because He loved me.

I want to leave behind the kind of legacy that this man left behind, and inspire other people, like he inspired me, to live so much for Christ that even their death can bring Him glory.

Reading Genesis Again

Hello! I'm back! I'm super super excited!! You'll never guess why. (No, this post has nothing to do with Valentines Day ;) ) I don't want to wait for an answer so I will just tell you, I am reading Genesis again!! :D

Usually I am not so excited to read Genesis, or at least the first few chapters, because since I have gone to Sunday School for many years and have always been in a Christian environment, I know the story. I know what happens, it doesn't seem that exciting to read it.
So usually when I read it I try to imagine all of the intricacy of the things being created in the first chapter, and how vast the universe is, and how God just came up with it all off the top of His head and spoke it into existence, but for some reason, even when I do this, it has little meaning to me.

The reason I started to read it again was because of two things, both of which were said in the same night. One evening my sister mentioned that in the bible there are lots of comparisons with us and God and plants. ("I am the vine and you are the branches," "He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water.." etc.) And in the same night a friend of ours said something along the lines of, "The old testament is full of prophecies and stories about Jesus."

Those two things just clicked for me and I decided to start over at the beginning and search for God's character and His story in the stories in the old testament.

Even looking at Genesis 1 in this new light was AMAZING. What used to be a simple chapter full of things I already know, was now an amazing...I don't know what to call it. It's like God wrote His story into all of the things He made, but you can't see it unless you look.


Since I am so excited about it, I will write about a few of the things I found in Genesis 1 and 3, and the rest you will have to find for yourself. :)

Okay, so the first thing I will write about, since I already mentioned plants, is plants. In verses 11-12 it says, Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth"; and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind, and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
 
This is the coolest thing. Picture that the fruit tree represents God. The fruit tree (God) yields fruit, (us) according to its kind. (Made in His image) Whose seed is in itself, (you can look at this more than one way, physically, God made us to reproduce, and spiritually, when you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, and He is the one who can bear fruit (John 15:5) through us) and lastly, On the earth. (That one is pretty easy to figure out)

Okay, and then another really cool one I found was in verses 16-18, Then God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.

In this part I saw the two great lights as God and Satan. The greater light (sun) is God, and the lesser light (moon) is Satan. They are both greater in power than us, hence why they are the two 'great lights,' but God is by far greater than Satan. Then, they are the rulers of the day and of the night. Day is light, and the greater light rules the day, Night is dark, and the lesser light rules the night.

I thought that was really cool, but then it got even cooler when I told my dad about it and he simply said, "You know what is even cooler? Think about what the nature of the moon is. It has no light of its own, it can only reflect the sun's light." Think on that.

And I was going to stop there...so you can stop there if you are bored and don't want to read any more, but I have one more cool thing to say, this occurred to me in Chapter 3.

In verse 16 it says, To the woman he said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you."

I have never ever seen this analogy, or one close to it, so it was amazing that I saw this, but here it is. Because of sin, women have to go through pain for their children to be born. Because of sin, Jesus had to go through pain for us to be born again.

Isn't that awesome?! :)

Sorry this post was really long, but I hope you all liked it as much as I did. :)

And if you have never seen the creation story in this light before, I strongly recommend you go and read through it! There is so much more that I said nothing about.

I just think it is so cool how when you look at the creation story like this, it is so evident that God knew exactly what He was doing the whole time. He knew His whole plan right from the start, and showed it even from the start!

NOTE: If you liked this post, please click here to read a short expansion on the Sun and Moon parallel.

Where Two or Three Are Gathered

This will be a really short post, I just wanted to share something that has been making me happy. :)

Do you have trouble sleeping at night? It might be because you're a deadbeat. Pay those annoying TV bills, and get a good night's sleep.

Just kidding. ;)

(For anyone who didn't get that reference, it is from The Flintstones, Barney speaking. If you have never seen it, you missed out. Look it up on Youtube if you have free time, I am sure it is on there.)

Anyways, off of my little rabbit trail, I go to an awesome church, it is just a small church in West Windsor called Ambassador Baptist, and we have a prayer meeting every night.

For the past few days God has REALLY used this prayer meeting to reach my heart. It is amazing how a person can listen to God, just listen. Seek, and want God's presence, and then pray a prayer that they have no idea what God is using it for. Through going to this gathering every night, even though I can barely bring myself to pray aloud some days, and other days I just don't, God has spoken to me and taught me things I never expected.

I am not you. I don't know what you need. YOU don't even know what you need, I know this because I definitely didn't know my own needs.

But what I do know, is that prayer is powerful.

I really strongly encourage you to, even if you don't have a prayer meeting every night at your church, even if you don't even have a prayer meeting at church, I encourage you to find someone, maybe a few people, and start praying with and for each other.

Yes, the 'with' part is necessary.

When I started going to this I literally felt sick because of how nervous I was, I did NOT want to pray out loud, and I even told you that most days I don't. So don't be afraid, if you are nervous or you feel insecure about it just ask God to help you be an overcomer and take a step of faith. Believe me, praying with other people is so so so so helpful.

I hope this meant something to someone reading this.

For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in the midst of them. 
(Matthew 18:20)

He Knew, He Knows, He Planned It

Going back to the main theme of this blog, finding little wonders and showing them to the world, I have a really cool thing to say. :)


God has a plan for you.


If you have grown up in a Christian home or in Christian circles you have probably heard this many times during your life, and if not, let this be the first time.

God knows what you have been through, He knows what you are going through and what you are doing at this moment, He knew before time began that at this moment you would be reading this and He knew what your reaction would be.


I have always thought this was cool, but now it is even cooler.


I was reading in Acts recently, and I came across a verse that really stood out to me, sadly I cannot remember what it was or even exactly what it said. But I do remember that it was about God planting us where we are, and that He put us where the best place and time would be for us.


He placed you in just the right spot.


The thought that went through my head was He put me EXACTLY where I needed to be in order to be saved.

When I was younger, at random times, I would wish I was a different person, maybe in a different family, in a different country, in a different time, just to see what it would be like, or because I thought I would do better in a different environment.

But His plan was for me to be in the family I am in, in the year I am in, in the country I am in, all because He knew it was best for me.

Talk about God taking care of His children!

As I thought about it more, I thought about how sometimes I will pray things like, "God, I know I am supposed to want You to come soon. I know I am supposed to yearn for the day when I can meet You and I do, but I want to travel the world first. I want to grow up and experience this life first."

I know it is a selfish prayer and usually I end it with saying something like, "Please change my heart to be only for You."

But I realized as I thought about that concept that if Jesus comes back when I am fifteen, He will have made me to be born fifteen years before His return because I am supposed to be fifteen when He comes back. Or if He comes back when I am seventeen, then it will be no accident that I am seventeen when He returns. Or eighty. Or still fourteen. Or sixty five. Or even not alive anymore, but whatever age I am, if He does return in my lifetime, it will all be part of the plan.

That, to me, is really comforting.

To know that God has such control over everything, that even time He has structured to fit His plan, that something that happens in a split second, that split second He has planned.

Isn't that amazing?

I was at my cousins' house this past week and at one point we were standing looking at an unfrozen stream, there were almost no words to describe the way it looked and sounded, it was so beautiful.

I remembered that thought then, and I realized that when God made that stream He knew I would look at it, even from that angle. He knew I would listen to it and think it lovely. 


Is this not a God worthy of praise?

A Faintly Burning Wick

I know I haven't been on here for a while, I will try to keep it more regular, but if I have nothing to write about for a long period of time...I guess you will just have to wait. :P

But anyways, since I am writing, here is what I am writing about. I am going to tell you a story about myself, a struggle I have been going through, and how I just broke out of it.

I hope that someone going through a similar struggle will read this and take heart.

For the past...Oh my, I don't even know how long, I have been settled in a little hole of my own comfort space. I have not grown spiritually for a long time, and I have known that, but just was not really willing to push out of it.

So there it is, my confession.

Recently though, I have really come to realize this and I have tried to be on fire for the Lord, tried to just make myself be hungry for His word...and well, nothing really came of it.

Then the day came. Our church was going to have a week long fast, starting into the new year. I saw it as a sign from God and was sure that if I fasted I would again be close with God, and everything would be good.

That is the WRONG mentality to have.

Here is a piece of advise, never go into a fast thinking that not eating will fix all of your problems, it doesn't.

As the week was going by, I still felt nothing. I was not getting closer to Him, I was not being convicted of sin, I wasn't growing.

One day I thought to myself, I feel like I had a fire raging in my heart once, but slowly it has died down, until now all that is left is a small flame, barely staying alive, slowly going out.

But I didn't know how to stop it.

The next day I received a letter from my cousin, at the end she included a bible verse, she said it was one that had encouraged her. I read it, and was like, Oh, that's nice. But then I felt the need to read it again, to study it, to find what it had for me, I read it again and really listened to the words, it was just what I needed.

That verse was Isaiah 42:3, A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench; He will faithfully bring forth justice.

That was for me, my faintly burning wick, a promise that He will not let it die out, that He would answer my prayers.

That was when I really began seeking, I wasn't really sure how, but I prayed that God would reveal Himself to me, and show me how to grow closer to Him.

Near the end of the week, (I had already finished my fast) I had still not grown in the way I wanted to. But I believe that the week was not in vain. On Saturday I went to a new group meeting that our church has started for young adults, 14 and up, and we did a bible study on Mark 12:28-34, and afterwards a few of us stayed at the church for about two hours talking about God and who He is.

That night I felt the fire flare up again.

The reason I believe the week to not have been in vain, (or one of the many reasons) is that we have prayed for revival, and at the end of that week, the last full day of the fast was when it happened for me.

This time I intend to not let it die again, this time I want to feed the flame, I want to always be on fire for the Lord.