Spontaneous Therapy Sessions

I am a girl.

I am also a teenager.

I like to blame all of my problems and emotions on those two facts. So far it's worked pretty well.

The other day I experienced some emotions which at this point are fairly familiar to me, it wasn't a big deal, just sort of an overhanging feeling of discontented longing.

I could pinpoint things that I missed, so I attributed it to that, and tried to ignore it. After a while though, I opened up a little bit.

I sighed and looked at my older sister, "You know the sterotype that all teenagers are super emotional?"

"Yes."

"Does that just magically end when you turn 20?"

I wished, but talking to the sister whose blog is titled, "I Want to Punch My Computer in the Face," I figured the answer would be negative.

It was. But that's okay, because that particular sister knows lots about emotions, so she was more than willing to launch into a full therapy session.

I confess, as much as I appreciated her efforts, I didn't have much confidence in the effectiveness of her speech. Having been through pointless emotions before, I know well that they come for no reason and leave just as quickly.

In between laughs though, (because my sister is quite hilarious) she said, "I believe that this is working! In fact, I think this is revelation from the Holy Spirit."

I laughed at first, but was quickly convicted that she could be right. Although I didn't see how her "revelation" had anything to do with my VERY pointless emotions, I decided to be receptive just in case.

The next thing she said was, "It doesn't matter what other people this think about you. Sometimes you feel like you get a reputation, and you will NEVER be able to get rid of it, but you can. People forget. In fact, they forget really fast."

Suddenly I remember something I had begun to feel really upset about just a few days ago.

I know that I have had a cloud of some sort hanging over me for a while.

I don't know why, what it is, or when it started, but I feel heavier than I used to all the time.

I used to have very few bad days, these days I have very few really good ones. I would still say that I have a positive outlook on life, I LOVE my life! I love Jesus, and my family, and my friends, and my church, and ballet...I just love everything. I even enjoy working at McDonalds, and I feel really blessed. 

I honestly can't tell you what's off.

If my siblings hadn't noticed it, I would never have noticed it, but since they pointed it out I know they're right.

Something about me has changed.

But I don't want to have a reputation that I live with a cloud over my head. I don't want a reputation that I am selfish, that I am sullen, or overly emotional.

I didn't realize that I needed an encouragement from God until my sister said plainly, "In fact, I think this is a revelation from the Holy Spirit!"

Now I am...peaceful.

I know that God is a God of renewal, and as spring begins, everything displays His power to renew all the more.

Tonight, I went to a presentation by our pastor and his wife, and at one point, he talked about Peter.

Peter meets Jesus, he is fishing, and Jesus calls Him.

And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They immediately left their nets and followed Him. (Matthew 4:18-20)

After Peter denies Jesus and He is crucified, He finds the disciples once again in a fishing boat.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea. (John 21:7)

The moment Peter hears Jesus' voice, he jumps in the water to swim to Him, because Jesus has called him back. Peter is back where he started, and Jesus gives him a second chance.

The story was calming for me, to hear again that I can always start over. God is always able to renew my life, and He can change poor reputations. People can forget.



End Notes:

If you would like to read my sister's blog and laugh pretty hard, you can read it HERE.

Also, I am planning on going to Mississippi next summer, (2018) and I am trying to raise a grand total of $3,015 for the trip. If you want to know more and/or support me in this, please check out my GoFundMe page HERE.

Have a great day! :)

Accidentally Ignoring Jesus

Can anyone hide himself in secret places, So I shall not see him?” says the Lord; “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” says the Lord. (Jeremiah 23:24)

I came across this verse a couple days ago, I really love it.

I had just gotten off of work, and I was sitting in the McDonalds lobby, just reading my bible and sipping my coffee.

After reading a few chapters, I started to notice a few conversations going on around me. Some of it was inspiring, actually, while some of it just made me despair for our generation.

As I listened, I really noticed the contrast of the people in that restaurant.

There I was, a young lady with strong beliefs, sitting, listening. Around me, people talked about success and business, their crushes or lack thereof, and some people just read the newspaper, unaware of the world around them.

I was keenly aware of the other presence in the room, which I'm sure most didn't realize. My Lord who, like me, listened.

That was when I was inspired to find a verse like Jeremiah 23:24, which evidently I did, and that inspiration made me want to blog.

I began to write, when suddenly it dawned on me how silly it was that I was writing about God being WITH us, and I wasn't talking to Him. I wrote that I was possibly the only one in the lobby who had a real relationship with Him, the only one who realized He was there, and what was I doing? Writing.

I apologized, and quickly put away my iPod. The rest of my time waiting for my sister was spent talking with God and enjoying His presence.

I think I need constant reminders that that is so much better in fact than in theory. It was lovely.

So I guess I'll just end by saying, don't just read this and agree with me. Don't just say "Praise the Lord," or write something down when you have an insight. Talk to Jesus! He is always wanting to talk to you.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

I Can Take A Hint

Hello All!

This is another in-the-meantime post, because I STILL haven't gotten my big one together yet.

Today, I thought I would share with you a neat story that happened recently.

A little while ago, I decided to close my blog.

I wrote up a Farewell blog post, and decided that I would end it with a bang, so I made plans for a really awesome post about God.

I'll let you read a piece of my Farewell which gives you the reason for folding.

"I have received lots of encouragement from my family and friends, but I always felt that I needed to have a vision, a purpose for why I was writing. But I didn't have anything.

In short, I don't feel like I am "called" to be writing this blog, and so I'd rather not. I have thoroughly enjoyed updating it and am very thankful to all of my encouragers, and if God shows me that I should pick it up again, I will, but for now, I am putting it to rest.

It will still be here for you all to read if you feel like going back over my posts, but I will not be updating.

SO. I thought, as a farewell post, I should write something awesome! And what is more awesome than God Himself?

The following  post is a small, quick picture of my Savior. I know I won't be able to do Him justice, but I hope it is a cool snapshot.

So this is it for this post, my next one will be the OFFICIAL farewell, and much less gloomy than this one, I promise. ;)

Until then!

~Keturah"

But my plans got interrupted pretty quickly.

The same day that I officially decided to close it, I received a Facebook message from someone encouraging me, and telling me that they love Counting Blessings. That gave me a little remorseful feeling, but I had known that people would be disappointed, so I wasn't discouraged.

Only a few hours later we went to a meal at our church, a man whom I know came by to tell me that some people that he had read my blog to were very excited about my writing.

I thought, Okay...It's fine. They can get over it. I don't have a reason for writing, so I am still going to close it.

The next day I found a post that I had written a while ago and never published, so I posted it, and someone commented to tell me that they love my blog.

Seriously, it was like everyone was trying to get me to keep it, even though I had not told a soul my plans.

The next day I got ANOTHER Facebook message, again, encouraging me, telling me to keep writing.

By that time I was seriously doubting my own judgement. The next day, I finally consulted my dad.

"Should I keep posting on my blog?" I asked.

"Why is that even a question?" He said.

I explained the situation, (excluding all of the encouraging people) and he told me why he thought I should keep it.

By the end of it, I basically said, "You know what, I can take a hint."

It was too much, and too direct, to ignore.

I have decided that I will keep writing, without a vision or a mission statement, because even though I don't have a purpose for Counting Blessings, obviously God does.

So that's it! This is not my second last post friends, I will probably have many more to come. :)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9)

In The Good Times and The Bad

God is good.

I see those words all the time. I hear them often, and I even say them often.

This blog is pretty much all about how God is good.

When I am feeling happy or just realizing how blessed I am I like to praise Him for being so amazing. I post Facebook statuses like, "God is good." "God is so good!" "God is good, all the time!"

But today was just "one of those days."

I was confused, I was upset, I felt burdened and I didn't even know why. I was praying that God would take me out of this frame of mind but instead I was hit with the words, "God is good."

I know that, I thought. I wish I was happy so I could post that on Facebook, or write a blog post about it, or even a journal entry, or just tell someone... But then I realized, Why can't I?

I have said God is good all the time. In the good times and the bad. I believed that with my whole heart when I was happy, and I still believed it when I was upset, but that made me ask myself, "Why can't I?"

I was not "feeling blessed." I knew I was blessed, I believed it, but I was upset. I was not happy, so I felt like I could not say something that portrays happiness unless I had a reason for happiness.

The best thing is that I don't need a reason for momentary happiness, because I have a reason for everlasting joy.
Happiness is fleeting, it can come in an instant and leave just as fast. But joy is not a feeling, it is a choice, and that choice is ultimately believing that Jesus is the Son of God and He died to save you.

I have a reason to be joyful, even when I am sad, because no matter how I feel, Jesus loves me. He died for me.

I hoped that by the end of thinking about how Jesus loves me I would be happy, but I was not. I felt the same. Except for one thing. I didn't feel like I needed to be happy anymore.

This day will pass, as will this feeling.

I am content, despite my other feelings of depression, because these feelings are temporary, they are lies of Satan and can only stay so long. But my joy is not fleeting, my joy will still be there when I emerge from the bog that I find myself in, I will see it there shining bright as day, and I will feel it better then.

For now I just need to trust that I am safe. God is holding me even when I can't feel Him, and He has my heart. He has my joy.


Yes, God is good.

ALL THE TIME.