Spontaneous Therapy Sessions

I am a girl.

I am also a teenager.

I like to blame all of my problems and emotions on those two facts. So far it's worked pretty well.

The other day I experienced some emotions which at this point are fairly familiar to me, it wasn't a big deal, just sort of an overhanging feeling of discontented longing.

I could pinpoint things that I missed, so I attributed it to that, and tried to ignore it. After a while though, I opened up a little bit.

I sighed and looked at my older sister, "You know the sterotype that all teenagers are super emotional?"

"Yes."

"Does that just magically end when you turn 20?"

I wished, but talking to the sister whose blog is titled, "I Want to Punch My Computer in the Face," I figured the answer would be negative.

It was. But that's okay, because that particular sister knows lots about emotions, so she was more than willing to launch into a full therapy session.

I confess, as much as I appreciated her efforts, I didn't have much confidence in the effectiveness of her speech. Having been through pointless emotions before, I know well that they come for no reason and leave just as quickly.

In between laughs though, (because my sister is quite hilarious) she said, "I believe that this is working! In fact, I think this is revelation from the Holy Spirit."

I laughed at first, but was quickly convicted that she could be right. Although I didn't see how her "revelation" had anything to do with my VERY pointless emotions, I decided to be receptive just in case.

The next thing she said was, "It doesn't matter what other people this think about you. Sometimes you feel like you get a reputation, and you will NEVER be able to get rid of it, but you can. People forget. In fact, they forget really fast."

Suddenly I remember something I had begun to feel really upset about just a few days ago.

I know that I have had a cloud of some sort hanging over me for a while.

I don't know why, what it is, or when it started, but I feel heavier than I used to all the time.

I used to have very few bad days, these days I have very few really good ones. I would still say that I have a positive outlook on life, I LOVE my life! I love Jesus, and my family, and my friends, and my church, and ballet...I just love everything. I even enjoy working at McDonalds, and I feel really blessed. 

I honestly can't tell you what's off.

If my siblings hadn't noticed it, I would never have noticed it, but since they pointed it out I know they're right.

Something about me has changed.

But I don't want to have a reputation that I live with a cloud over my head. I don't want a reputation that I am selfish, that I am sullen, or overly emotional.

I didn't realize that I needed an encouragement from God until my sister said plainly, "In fact, I think this is a revelation from the Holy Spirit!"

Now I am...peaceful.

I know that God is a God of renewal, and as spring begins, everything displays His power to renew all the more.

Tonight, I went to a presentation by our pastor and his wife, and at one point, he talked about Peter.

Peter meets Jesus, he is fishing, and Jesus calls Him.

And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They immediately left their nets and followed Him. (Matthew 4:18-20)

After Peter denies Jesus and He is crucified, He finds the disciples once again in a fishing boat.

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea. (John 21:7)

The moment Peter hears Jesus' voice, he jumps in the water to swim to Him, because Jesus has called him back. Peter is back where he started, and Jesus gives him a second chance.

The story was calming for me, to hear again that I can always start over. God is always able to renew my life, and He can change poor reputations. People can forget.



End Notes:

If you would like to read my sister's blog and laugh pretty hard, you can read it HERE.

Also, I am planning on going to Mississippi next summer, (2018) and I am trying to raise a grand total of $3,015 for the trip. If you want to know more and/or support me in this, please check out my GoFundMe page HERE.

Have a great day! :)