A Faintly Burning Wick

I know I haven't been on here for a while, I will try to keep it more regular, but if I have nothing to write about for a long period of time...I guess you will just have to wait. :P

But anyways, since I am writing, here is what I am writing about. I am going to tell you a story about myself, a struggle I have been going through, and how I just broke out of it.

I hope that someone going through a similar struggle will read this and take heart.

For the past...Oh my, I don't even know how long, I have been settled in a little hole of my own comfort space. I have not grown spiritually for a long time, and I have known that, but just was not really willing to push out of it.

So there it is, my confession.

Recently though, I have really come to realize this and I have tried to be on fire for the Lord, tried to just make myself be hungry for His word...and well, nothing really came of it.

Then the day came. Our church was going to have a week long fast, starting into the new year. I saw it as a sign from God and was sure that if I fasted I would again be close with God, and everything would be good.

That is the WRONG mentality to have.

Here is a piece of advise, never go into a fast thinking that not eating will fix all of your problems, it doesn't.

As the week was going by, I still felt nothing. I was not getting closer to Him, I was not being convicted of sin, I wasn't growing.

One day I thought to myself, I feel like I had a fire raging in my heart once, but slowly it has died down, until now all that is left is a small flame, barely staying alive, slowly going out.

But I didn't know how to stop it.

The next day I received a letter from my cousin, at the end she included a bible verse, she said it was one that had encouraged her. I read it, and was like, Oh, that's nice. But then I felt the need to read it again, to study it, to find what it had for me, I read it again and really listened to the words, it was just what I needed.

That verse was Isaiah 42:3, A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench; He will faithfully bring forth justice.

That was for me, my faintly burning wick, a promise that He will not let it die out, that He would answer my prayers.

That was when I really began seeking, I wasn't really sure how, but I prayed that God would reveal Himself to me, and show me how to grow closer to Him.

Near the end of the week, (I had already finished my fast) I had still not grown in the way I wanted to. But I believe that the week was not in vain. On Saturday I went to a new group meeting that our church has started for young adults, 14 and up, and we did a bible study on Mark 12:28-34, and afterwards a few of us stayed at the church for about two hours talking about God and who He is.

That night I felt the fire flare up again.

The reason I believe the week to not have been in vain, (or one of the many reasons) is that we have prayed for revival, and at the end of that week, the last full day of the fast was when it happened for me.

This time I intend to not let it die again, this time I want to feed the flame, I want to always be on fire for the Lord.