A Gift Under a Pile of Books

So you can read in my last post (A "WHAT???" Kind of Opportunity) about an awesome trip that two of my sisters and I were given the chance to go on, and that will help explain what I am about to talk about.

As you know, (or should know by now) we will be leaving in about a month. I have a job at McDonalds, but that's about our only source of reliable income.

We're applying for funding from Jumpstart, as well as having asked for donations from friends and family, but we haven't gotten the applications in yet, and there hasn't been a ton of money coming from anywhere else. So you can imagine that I, being the one who is planning all of the financial stuff, have been fairly stressed about it recently.

Well, in order to relieve some small amount of stress from myself, I decided to go online and look at my bank account, and actually count how much we have already.

What I found was that I had enough to cover my own cost, plus $300, which would cover one month's rent, but I still needed another $600 for the other two months.

So I was still stressed. Just waiting, praying that God would bring in the money.

You know... God really likes surprises, I think.

One day, recently, I was cleaning my room. Going through old stuff of mine that hasn't been sorted in ages, and one of those things was my bookshelf.

As I made piles and pulled off all things that were not books, (I confess, my bookshelf over time tends to turn into an everything shelf) I found an envelope. I picked it up and looked inside, it was money.

I wasn't TOO surprised, (confession time again) because sometimes I take money out of the bank in order to pay tithe, and pay people back for things, and stuff like that, so it's usually a fairly large amount, like $300-$400.

If it had been $300, I would have scolded myself for putting it in an envelope and forgetting about it, but after counting it... I still have NO reasonable explanation for how it got there.

$600!!

Let's make this even more clear, okay? I can't even withdraw that much out of the bank at once. Which means I would have had to withdraw on two separate occasions, and put the money in one envelope for a reason, and you'd think, if that happened, I would have some small recollection of doing it. Nothing.

I asked my family, no one else left it there. It had to be mine.

Mind. Blown.

It's like an angel left it for me!

Anyway, a couple days later I was explaining to my friend about what happened, and suddenly realized that I had counted needing $600 to cover the rest of my trip to Fort Erie, and that's how much was in that envelope.

I just can't get over this, God is so amazing!!

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? (Matthew 6:25, 26)

Note:

If you would like to donate toward our trip, you can email me at keturahthomson12@gmail.com about the best way of getting the money to us.

To: Keturah

I just... I can't... Aaaaahhhhhhhhh........

This is what I have felt like since Sunday morning. The inability to express what is going on within me.

It's even worse, because normally if I can't tell you how I feel, I can at least tell you WHY I feel this way, but this time I can only tell you the latter part of it.

The beginning is a story that I don't fully understand, I wouldn't be able to describe it because I don't even really know what it was. All I can tell you is that I should have loved God more, I should have sought God more, but I didn't, and I was left with a lot of unnecessary confusion and emptiness.

I wish I could elaborate even a little more to tell you when this started, but again, I have no idea.

It isn't that I fell away from being a Christian, or something like that, I just lacked motivation to do much about my faith for a while. So my bible collected more dust than it should have, and when I would talk about God with people I would get this little pang of guilt telling me that I was neglecting Him at heart.

Anyway, that is the beginning. The second half begins with a little bit of history.

As most of you know, I have been saving up money for ballet lessons for years and years. Recently I have been hearing a lot of talk from bible teachers about giving above and beyond ten percent of your increase, your tithe. 

My first thought when this topic would come up would be that I don't have consistent income, and I'm saving for ballet, so I can't give more than 10%. My thought immediately following would be that I am so selfish and stingy, and I need to believe that God can provide for me, so I should give above and beyond. I shouldn't even put limits on it, cause that is stingy. I need to give it ALL. Every penny to my name.

But that's not even wise... Would be the next thought, and that's true. If I were supporting myself, you could make the case that living by faith doesn't have to be "financially sound," but as I am not, giving away all of my money would simply mean that every expense I have in the future, my parents or my siblings would have to pay for, and I don't think that is what God is asking of me.

So anyway, a few days ago I was at a bible study where this came up again. I asked the leader my question, told him my problem, and he said he didn't know, but that I should pray. Make sure that my heart is in the right place, and be willing to give everything if that was what God wanted from me.

After the study I talked with my older sister who shared some wisdom with me, and after talking to her, I felt more at peace about it. (I am still praying about it, but I felt less stressed.) A verse that she shared with me during that conversation was "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

The next day, Sunday morning, I was sitting in the church pew and a gentleman that I don't know well came up to me. My initial thought was that he was going to talk to me about ushering, since I was ushering that day, and well, why else would he be talking to me?

But he handed me an envelope and said, "Can you hold this?" Oh, I see. He wants me to put it into the offering plate for him for some reason. "That's for you." When those words finally set in, he had walked back to his seat already, and church had started.

Looking down at the envelope in my hands, I read, "To: Keturah - Psalm 37:4"

Hands shaking, I opened my bible and turned to that verse. I had to hold back tears as I read "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I didn't look inside it until the end of the service, but I knew what was inside. I could hardly concentrate the whole time through the music and the sermon, I was having to hold back tears.

Really? Why?

Not only was it so cool that it happened right after I had that talk with the bible study leader and my sister, I felt so blown away that a gift like that would be given to me when I had been not seeking God for so long.

The verse said "Delight yourself also in the Lord," but although I would like to say I had done that... I hadn't really for a long time. I felt like that gift should have been for someone else.

But it wasn't. It was given to me.

It reminded me again of God's gift of His Son. I am the last one to deserve it, and yet...God wants me to have it. He gave it to me, fully aware of who I was and what I had done.

So the end of the story is that I have been blown away AGAIN, by the same story of love that amazes me all the time.

God encouraged me in my pursuit of my dream, to become a dancer. But even more than that, He encouraged me to follow Him again, to take up my cross and run the race for the joy that is before me.

Once again I stand amazed at the feet of Jesus. Even after blessing me with money for ballet lessons, if He wants me to lay down that career, I would do it, because He is worth more than any treasure I could store up for myself on earth.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

Opening Doors Part 1: Knocking

Hey there!

I had the most amazing phone conversation a few days ago, and it is making me think that maybe God is doing something really cool. I don't know where this will end, whether it will be the way I want it or not, but I decided to post about the way it has been going thus far, and I will write a second part once I find out the outcome.

So here it is.

If anyone has been interested enough to go to Bracelets for Ballet on the right side of this page, has read my About Me section, or has read either of my earlier posts, A Familar Smile, or Encourager, you will know already that I am aspiring to be a ballerina.

For the longest time I have wanted to take lessons but have had virtually no means of doing so. I have taken a few random classes throughout the year as well as a week-long dance camp coming up in August again. I am 15 years old and probably in grade 2 ballet.

I decided a while ago that I was going to buckle down and take lessons this year if I possibly could, but it was like there was a row of doors in my face, all of them closed.

Door #1: A Studio

I had looked into a whole bunch of different studios in Windsor and had come to the conclusion that the only one I was interested in was the Dance Barre, which is a secular studio and VERY stressful according to what I have heard about it. Also it is not very convenient for my mother to drive me out to where it is twice-three times a week.

But we would make it happen, if I was able to raise the money for it.

But just a little while ago, we heard about a Catholic studio called Academie Ste Cecile, which "just happens" to have a lot of people I know who go there and they all love it. It also "just happens" to be way easier for Mom to drive me to.

Note: I am still undecided between the two, because I don't know all of the details about Academie Ste Cecile yet.

Door #2: Technique

As I just mentioned, I don't know all about Ste Cecile yet. The number one thing I am concerned about is ballet technique. But in order to tell if a studio teaches good technique, you have to watch a video of their dancers. I emailed the teacher and asked for a video, but they don't show videos of their dancers to other people, so that seemed like a deal breaker. The Dance Barre it was.

But then I found out that a good friend of mine takes lessons there! She has a recital video from a few years ago and so I will get to see that.

Also, another big deciding factor was that most studios decided what class you are going to be in according to your age. That is NOT a good thing. They should place you in classes according to your ability and experience. I asked about this, and they decide according to ability, not age.

Door #3: Money

On our Bracelets for Ballet Facebook page I started a weekly update of "This is how much money I need, this is how long I have to get it." But since you can't charge tons of money for bracelets, the money was slow coming in, although I was getting lots of business.

I had asked the Dance Barre if there is any way I can work in exchange for a discount, but that was not possible.

I thought to myself one day, It would take a miracle for this to happen. It would literally take someone walking up to me and saying, "Here's a thousand dollars."

Then we heard about this crew that goes out in the summer and works in corn fields, detasseling the corn. The pay is extremely high, though the work is extremely hard. (If you want to check it out, you can go to their website here - http://www.corncrew.com/)
They were supposed to have closed the registration already, but for "some reason," they left them open late and we got them in.

Then I got a phone call from the teacher at Academie Ste Cecile, and she answered all of my questions super helpfully, she was soooo nice, I really want her to be my teacher. When I emailed her, I had asked if there was any way I could work for a discount, and she gave me the answer to that on the phone. There are three girls doing that right now, what they call a Working Scholarship, but one of them, again, "just happens" to maybe not be able to do it this upcoming school year, so she said she would put me down as first in line for that position if she can't do it.

That scholarship gives you a HALF PRICE discount! Although it is an amazing discount, I would still need about $300 IF I get the working scholarship.

Door #4: Corn Detasseling

Even though we got our applications in, we found out that there were hundreds of other applicants, so the chances of us getting the job were not that great.

It made it even worse when we found out later that they had already hired a whole bunch of people from previous years, so that made the chance even smaller!

Yesterday I was doing something for my dad, and my sister who applied with me came over to tell me that we got accepted, but we missed the replying date, and our jobs were given to people on the waiting list.

I just prayed, barely hoping, that we would somehow still get it, and when I went back to our room it turned out that she had made a mistake and we still had about a week to respond!


It seemed like those doors were not going to open. I didn't think they would. But God has been opening them, one at a time and just in the right time, I am amazed again at what He is doing.

My hope is that He will proceed to open the remaining doors, #1: Technique, and #2: The Working Scholarship. Either that or open the Money door for the Dance Barre, but honestly I would prefer Academie Ste Cecile.

But it is all in His hands. :) I don't know why He would open so many doors only to close them again, but if He does, His plan is perfect and I just need to trust Him with it.

So I will post again when I find out about the technique, either with the title being Opening Doors Part 2: Open, or Opening Doors Part 2: Closed.

I can't wait to see what God is doing!

Encourager

My God is an Encourager.

And for this, I am blessed.

Recently I have been wrestling with a lot of discouragement. So I have been praying for some kind of encouragement. In any form really, I'm not picky.

On Friday I went to a craft show to sell bracelets, (if you don't know what that is all about, read 'Bracelets for Ballet' on the right side of the screen) it was a three day show, Friday night, and then Saturday and Sunday.

So the last two days were much like any other show, except a bit slower.

But then today was like a "Hey! You asked for encouragement, you're gonna get it!" kind of day. :D

This may not seem so awesome to you guys just reading this, but to me, it meant a lot.

I met a girl on Friday who told me today that she is a professional dancer. She told me good luck with our bracelets and gave me some contact information and said that she does free dance workshops sometimes if I was interested.

That was super exciting!

And then after that a girl came over and asked where I was planning on taking dance lessons. I told her either the Dance Barre or Academie Ste Cecile, and she said she works at the Dance Barre! How crazy is that?
She bought a bracelet and then continued on her way. A few minutes later I saw her talking with a guy who I assumed was her brother, and in a few seconds he came my way with a five dollar bill in hand.

He came up and said that he doesn't really wear bracelets, so he didn't want to buy anything, but he said he liked what I was doing, and he wanted to support me. "My sister is a dancer," he said, "and for someone to not get lessons...that really hits home for me."

That made me so happy...you have no idea. :)

Talking with these three people really made me realize how many people come by and buy a bracelet just to support us. It makes me really grateful.

I feel like someday if I become a professional dancer, I will be in some interview, and I'll be like, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for God, my parents, etc. etc., and I just want to thank that one guy at a craft show a long time ago who told me never to give up, and that lady at another craft show who told me I was pretty and to keep on going, and that other guy at the same craft show as the lady who gave me twenty dollars!" At this point I will look at the person who is interviewing me, "Can you believe that? TWENTY DOLLARS! For a THREE DOLLAR BRACELET." Then I will keep going, "And that little boy who only had a quarter but he gave it to me so I could take ballet, and that one..." The reporter will probably have to shut me up. I have had so many people that I am so grateful for, who didn't know me, but just felt like blessing me. :)

These people are so encouraging, and I know it is God who used them to encourage me.

He is my Encourager.

He is awesome.

In This World You Will Have Trouble...

Hey again!

So...in the beginning when I created this blog, I was meaning for it to be just looking into life's blessings and showing them to Christians and non Christians alike, but as I keep posting, my posts are more and more from a Christian perspective.

I hope you guys don't mind, there is just too much that I love about God to not post it on here.

So, I have another one. :) Surprise!

If anyone has checked out my business that I own with my two little sisters, you will probably have discovered that we are trying to raise a lot of money for ballet lessons and time is our enemy.

Recently I have been feeling very overwhelmed by it, because I feel like there is no way I am going to get the money when I need it, and I won't be able to take lessons.

Some of you might say, "Well that is okay, just save up for next year."

The problem with this is that I am already 15 years old, and that is LATE to be starting taking lessons. If I want to be a professional someday, ideally, I should have started when I was 2 or 3.

So I am feeling the pressure. A lot. And I really want to take lessons this year.

I keep telling myself that if God wants me to get lessons, He will make sure I get lessons. I am doing my best to raise the money, so I need to leave it in His hands. But then I get bombarded with thoughts like, What if He doesn't want you to take lessons? What if He wants you to do more than you are doing to raise money? What if... The doubts never end.

But then yesterday I went to prayer meeting at our church, and my dad read John 16 to open up, and right at the end this verse just stood out like it was taking up the whole page, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

I can have peace in Him. I can rest in Him. The matter is really in His hands.

In this world I will have trouble, I will have doubts and fears, and maybe I will never get to take dance lessons, but He tells me to take heart, because HE HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD.