Jesus' Thesis

I've had a thought developing in my mind for a couple months, and I'm not sure how well I'll be able to articulate it, but here it goes.

Let's start with this.

“Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other. By myself I have sworn; from my mouth has gone out in righteousness a word that shall not return: ‘To me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear allegiance.' “Only in the Lord, it shall be said of me, are righteousness and strength; to him shall come and be ashamed all who were incensed against him. In the Lord all the offspring of Israel shall be justified and shall glory.” (Isaiah 45:22-25)

This is God. The one who created everything by words, who formed man with His hands, who breathed life into man for the very first time. God, who looked at His creation and said that it was good, and after creating humanity, said that is was "Very good." The very first relationship that ever existed in humanity was between God and man, and the second was between God, man, and woman. From that moment, to the present, God has shown us how He values these relationships. Even in His description of who He is, He included us. His relationship with humanity is a defining feature for Him, He thinks of us when He thinks of Himself.

 Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. (Genesis 6:5)

Meet man. Only a few generations after the man that God had declared, "Very good," humanity had managed to become something so evil, they were not even capable of thinking good things. This theme is not unique to Noah's time, we see shadows of the evil tendencies of mankind throughout history.

When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband. (2 Samuel 11:26)

Why did all-creating nature 
           Make the plant for which we toil? 
Sighs must fan it, tears must water, 
           Sweat of ours must dress the soil. 
Think, ye masters iron-hearted, 
           Lolling at your jovial boards, 
Think how many backs have smarted 
           For the sweets your cane affords. 
(Excerpt from "The Negroe's Complaint," by William Cowper)

It is not truth that matters, but victory. -Adolf Hitler

The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it. -Margaret Sanger

Somehow, God was able to see beyond inexcusable evil, and love souls that were created by Him, for Him. Somehow, God knew He could change them, and bring beauty from the madness. So, though He was always with humanity, perceiving their every hurt, fear, and heart's desire, He came close to them in a way that they could perceive. He became like them, left His throne, and was born the way the most humble of them were born.

Why?

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

In order to be fit to judge us, He wanted to understand fully what it was like to live in the world that we live in. Wasn't that good of Him? Surely, coming to live in fallen humanity, He now must understand how incredibly difficult it is to be perfect. Surely, knowing, He must see that we are really not to blame, we're victims of our environment. Products of an evil system called "sin nature." This explains why the conclusion of that thought was, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace."

Or... Isn't that what He would discover?

Now that I think about it, I can't exactly blame Adam for everything I have done. I definitely bear at least some responsibility for my actions. Oooh. As I think about it more, I am starting to remember plenty of times when I definitely had a choice, and I chose the wrong thing. Even after I became a Christian... Isn't that what Hebrews talks about, "trampling on the Son of God?" Have I "put Him to an open shame?"

No, now that I think about it, I can't blame my "sin nature" for things that I did willingly, any more than King David can blame his "sin nature" for the things He did. I don't deserve the grace of God, I deserve whatever the consequence of my sin is, even if it's hell.

Maybe it's worse that Jesus came to be like us, He experienced the same temptations that I did, "yet without sin." He chose the right thing, I chose the wrong thing. I think, having come and endured the same hardship that I have struggling against sin, He more likely would have come to the conclusion that I should receive the full consequence for my actions, nothing spared.

I may as well have yelled, "Crucify Him!" My actions sure did.

I should be numbered among the ones that said, "Let His blood be on us and on our children!"

So what was His actual conclusion?

After the Perfect God, creates men that rebel and spit in His face, comes to see for Himself why, and discovers that they have no excuse and are fully responsible for their actions, His conclusion is this:

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34a)

I'll be honest, I didn't plan an ending for this one. When that thought occurred to me, I was literally speechless, and even now, I have no explanation to offer, just the suggestion to... think. About that.

What goes through my mind, (and again, this is not an explanation, just thoughts) is that He definitely was not suggesting to God that they (or us) were truly ignorant. They were literally the most learned men of the day, if anyone would have known the magnitude of what was being done, it should have been them. 

There's something more, that's all I can say. There's always something more to be found in Jesus. "They know not what they do," are old, old words. But I don't have any confidence that I know what they mean anymore. I think I "know not what (they) did," either.

"Like A Wife Deserted and Grieved in Spirit."

I once heard a bible teacher make this shocking statement, "Sin doesn't keep us from God. Shame keeps us from God."

Before you start pulling out "For the wages of sin is death," think about it for a moment. True, the wages of sin were death, but the wages of sin have been paid. The offer is extended to every person, so what really keeps them from God?

If you want to get all technical, I'm willing to concede that shame is not the only culprit, if we're looking at the broad scale of humanity and asking what keeps them from God, it might be as accurate to say pride, stubbornness, or ignorance.

But as a Christian, that statement hit me so hard. Have you ever felt like you were in a rut of just failing all the time, and you felt like you were going back for forgiveness every five minutes, as if you could never stay in the presence of God because you just kept falling out? Ever felt like it was so hard to keep up the clean slate after it had been cleaned for you, so after you messed it up a little bit, you decided to stay away from God until you had polished it back to the way He had, and then you'd go back to Him?

I know that struggle SO well. But God didn't put that struggle on me, I put it on myself. His sacrifice paid for past, present, and future, and once forgiven, He has committed to forgive you as many times as He needs to. He was pretty clear about the fact that I can't clean my own slate, and He's never expected me to.

“Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

(John 15:3-5)

"Abide in Me," He said, "Stay with Me." Not, "Stay perfect."

But what is it that we do when we feel we haven't been perfect? Is our first reaction to face Him, or to hide a little bit, try to clean the slate, and then go? Shame will always hold us back from God if we let it.

The first instance of shame holding someone back from God is all the way in the first instance of someone relating to God at all.

“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" And he said, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself."” (Genesis 3:8-10)

Adam learned what it was to be ashamed of himself, so he did exactly the opposite of what he should've done. He tried to be away from God.

Sounds like me.

It's counterintuitive, but God actually wants us to go to Him right away, not wasting any time. He'll fix it when we get there.

Since I've been thinking about what a huge deal that is, (cause it is, really. Shame is constantly and actively trying to keep us from staying in the presence of God, and that is a big deal.) I've been thinking about some other ways that I have allowed shame a place in my life where it doesn't belong.

One way is the fact that I am a North-American Christian.

Growing up, I've heard so many times about the persecution that exists in other parts of the world, about the poverty that people live in, and how good I have it. I've grown up in peace, comfort, and blessing, and haven't really ever experienced want. You'd think the natural response to this knowledge would be gratitude, but mostly it's been shame.

I feel like I've almost been taught to be ashamed of being a North American Christian. I've been ashamed of not having experienced persecution. I've been ashamed of living in a post-Christian society. I've been ashamed of being blessed. I've been ashamed of hurting, when my problems are so #firstworldproblems.

But recently I had an experience where God just freed me from that guilt. Just with the realization that God is good, and the things He does are good, and He uses things for the good of those who love Him. I never chose where I was born or who my parents were. God chose that for me, and who am I to be ashamed of His plan?

That is not to say that I shouldn't do what I can to help those less fortunate than me, or recognize the abundance He's given me. But now I realize that I am not less valuable or less important to the body of Christ than someone going through persecution, now I am not ashamed of who I am. I can actually receive what I have with thanksgiving, and give with real generosity, not guilt.

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."” (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)

He's basically saying that their low status and lack of education did not stop them from being used and transformed by God. The reverse is true. Just like God can use someone in a poor situation, He can use someone in a rich one. The point is the conclusion, that we are not who we were before. We are new creations in Christ, and if we boast, we boast in the Lord!

Similarly to that, I have also felt ashamed of the North-American Church. Again, growing up, every time I heard a pastor preach on Revelation, "the lukewarm church" was always compared to the one I was sitting in. I always felt like a part of a body of sub-par believers, but it always seemed to be chalked up to blessing, "because we live in such a wonderful country, we can't help being lukewarm. We're basically fated to be spiritual couch potatoes unless we move to a full time mission field in a third world country."

Seriously, until I articulated this, I didn't realize how horrible it was. I hope that if you have felt the same way, you realize how wrong it is by reading this.

I agree that the North-American Church has lived in comfort more than other places, but I renounce my former subconscious conviction that every North-American believer is lukewarm or sub-par. Again, we didn't choose to be born here.

Disclaimer Number Two: I am not saying that I think the North American Church can't do any better than it is. As a matter of fact, I think that the same thing that happens on a personal level possibly happens on a Church-wide level, that shame keeps us out of the presence of God. The first thing we need to do is stop limiting ourselves by shame, and surrender to whatever God wants to do with us.

“"Ah, stubborn children," declares the Lord, "who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my direction, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! Therefore shall the protection of Pharaoh turn to your shame, and the shelter in the shadow of Egypt to your humiliation. For though his officials are at Zoan and his envoys reach Hanes, everyone comes to shame through a people that cannot profit them, that brings neither help nor profit, but shame and disgrace."” (Isaiah 30:1-5)

We cannot afford, as the body of Christ, to find comfort in our shame. If we will allow shame to dictate our response to sin, then we are making a plan that is not God's. If we allow shame to dictate our response to God, then we are going back to bondage to "seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt."

These are the three areas in my life where I have noticed that shame has kept me from closer relationship or better understanding of God, but there are more. Even subconsciously, if you are ashamed of your talents or lack thereof, God wants to call you higher. If you're ashamed of the way you look, or things you did in the past, God wants to call you higher. Basically if there is ANY shame or guilt in any part of your life, STOP letting it keep you from Him.

I looked up a bunch of verses about shame, and it just struck me how God doesn't specifically call it out much, but His heart for His people is clearly that they would live in victory, fulfilment, confidence, and honour. That's amazing.

“"Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God. For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you," says the Lord, your Redeemer.” (Isaiah 54:4-8)

When Slaves of Righteousness Leave

Hey friends! I have compiled a list of 101 books to read, so that I might not be so uneducated compared to Jane Fairfax.

(Kudos if you got the quote.)

I just finished #6 on my list, which was Eight Keys to Lasting Success, and it was actually written by my father, (Jay Thomson) who is very wise, and the book is very good.

I think my favorite chapter was the second last, in which he talks about slavery in the old testament, among other things, and it sparked a cool thought, so I decided to write about it.

In the old testament law, slavery was not what you and I think of in regards to the slave trade, or anything akin to it. Slavery had very specific guidelines set up by God, really for the betterment of everyone involved. It was a way of paying a debt, but in the process of this payment through servitude, the slave was to be mentored by his master, and equipped to be better able to provide for himself in the future.

The reason he would need to learn this at all was because as a part of the system, God had declared every 7th year to be a rest year, in which (among other things) every slave was to be set free.

And when you send him away free from you, you shall not let him go away empty-handed; you shall supply him liberally from your flock, from your threshing floor, and from your winepress. From what the Lord your God has blessed you with, you shall give to him. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God redeemed you; therefore I command you this thing today. (Deuteronomy 15:13-15)

Okay, so the first thing that is cool about this setup is that it is a picture of a picture. The exodus from Egypt, we as Christians can clearly see was both a physical deliverance and a prophetic picture of what God intended to do through Jesus Christ.

The blood over the doors of the Hebrews from an undefiled lamb delivered their children from death, God brought them out of the captivity of Egypt into the Promised Land, just like He brings us out of the captivity of sin into the Promised Life, through the blood of His undefiled Son.

So the exodus itself was a picture of the gospel, and then God when He sets up the society of His people as an individual nation, says to mirror that picture, because God treated them well when they were slaves in Egypt, so they must treat their slaves well.

Beyond that, there is more to this slave/owner relationship. If the slave had gone into servitude married, in the 7th year he would come out just as he had been before. However, if he was given a wife by his master, his wife and any children would remain slaves when he was set free.

Now before you go thinking that this is so unfair, realize that the slave would have perfect understanding of this before going into it. He didn't have to get married, it was a choice he would've made while being fully aware of the consequences.

However, sometimes people did make that choice, and when it came time to be set free, he wouldn't want to leave his wife and children, so he would tell his master he wanted to stay. God's provision for this was that when he told his master he wanted to stay, he would become a permanant slave of the household.

If you buy a Hebrew servant, he shall serve six years; and in the seventh he shall go out free and pay nothing. If he comes in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master has given him a wife, and she has borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s, and he shall go out by himself. But if the servant plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,’ then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or to the doorpost, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him forever. (Exodus 21:2-6)

Here is what struck me about this. If the picture of the slave/owner relationship is supposed to be another picture of the gospel, (shown even further in the New Testament, as Jesus said that he who wishes to be first among you must become a slave of all, and then taught His disciples how to be HIS servants, by serving them.) what significance does the issue of leaving have?

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. (Romans 6:16-18)

It's cool because God makes the mirror work in two ways that are opposite eachother. On the one hand, the setting free of the slave on the Sabbath year is a picture of salvation. God brought the people out of the land of Egypt into "His rest," and He brings us out of bondage into "rest."

On the other hand, when we are set free from the bondage of sin, we naturally become slaves of righteousness. This is the slave relationship that I want to examine for a minute. God, in His picture, set up specific rules for the slave leaving. What is mirrored here about the way interacts with us?

If we choose to leave our Master's household, He will not hold us back. In fact, the principles we learned as Christians will benefit us in our life, in a way, He has "not let (us) depart empty-handed."

This success we will achieve as a result is of course, not lasting. At the very best it will carry up through to the end of our lives, and then every benefit we received in our lives on earth will be worth nothing in the face of eternal judgment.

But our Master does not just send us away willingly. He wants us to stay, so He provides incentive for us. If we choose to leave His house, we must leave our "wife and children" behind.

This is going to sound super weird for a minute, but hopefully you can get what I mean. Also, bear in mind that all of this was birthed out of my love for allegory in every possible scenario, so none of this is strictly biblical. God didn't speak to me from heaven to tell me that these were the reasons for these rules, but these are the pictures I see.

I'll start with the children. The bible sometimes refers to children as "fruit."

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. (Genesis 1:28)

In another way, the bible compares the results of your actions to both fruit and children.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness... (Galatians 5:22)

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. (James 1:14-15)

If we think of the word children in this way, that is what we leave behind when we leave our Master. Actually in both senses, if we are leaving the master of sin, James 1 describes the children we leave behind, if we leave God as our master, Galatians 5 describes the children we leave behind.

Now for the wife. When God instituted marriage, He said a man would leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

God calls those who respond to the gospel, those who become His slaves, as His bride. As the Bride of Christ, we get to own that which He owns, we get to have a deep and personal relationship with Him, and we get treated with the respect and love that is due the Bride of Christ. (Not that we deserve it, but that by "marrying" us, He has elevated us to that place of honor.)

Okay. So if the servant of God becomes one flesh with the bride, then they are the same person. The slave is both slave and bride. If that slave chooses to leave, he must leave the bride behind.

If you choose to leave salvation behind, you are not just walking away from a master that you have to submit to, you are walking away from the opportunity to grow in character, (the fruit, or children) and you are walking away from an identity of honor.

Anyway, I thought that was cool. Let me know what you thought of my observations, or share any additional ones you had!

Does God Forget?

"Forgive and forget."

Agree or disagree?

For children who offend each other by taking an extra turn on the swing or playing with the other's toy, this is a simple and reasonable catch-phrase.

But for adults or children who have been seriously wounded by another person, given scars which will take years or a lifetime to recover from, are they really expected to...forget?

I have heard from various people in the church over the past few years that "Forgive and forget," is actually not biblical. For a relationship that has been damaged by someone who is likely to offend again, forgiving is necessary, but forgetting is foolish. Boundaries should be set in place, wisdom applied. You can't just pretend it never happened.

As reasonable as that all sounds though, something has always always sounded off about it to me. I haven't put my thoughts into words until now because I realize that I am young and inexperienced, and those people who have been through harder seasons than me are the ones saying this. So I feel that before I say anything on the subject, I should acknowledge that they may very well be right.

However, while my thoughts won't stop bugging me, I thought there could be no harm in penning them in an attempt to bring a new light to the discussion.

Why are we supposed to forgive?

"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew‬ ‭18:35‬)

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark‬ ‭11:25‬)

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John‬ ‭1:9‬)

We are to forgive because God forgives us. He showed us how to mend the most broken relationship with forgiveness, when He mended ours with Him.

How does God model forgiveness?

“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews‬ ‭10:16-17‬)

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah‬ ‭43:25‬)

“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalms‬ ‭103:12‬)

When God says that He "Remembers no more," does He wish us to disregard that statement so that when we forgive we can be protected? I don't think so.

Is God all-knowing?

So when He says He "forgets"....does He really? What does it mean for God to FORGET?

I was praying about this, and this is what came to mind. Obviously God doesn't actually lose that memory. If He needed to, He could address it. The obvious conclusion would be that He remembers, but chooses not to think about it or act on it.

If that were true that would still be amazing, but I don't actually think so.

Can you think of a time when someone hurt you, and you had to actively choose not to think about that thing that they did? When that happens, that wrong thing they did is SO hard to not think about because it's at the forefront of your mind. It's A: The first thing you think about when you think about them, and B: Still in your mind somewhere bugging you even when you choose to ignore it.

When God thinks about us, sin is not the first thing He thinks of. (Which raises an interesting question, should it really be the first thing we think of when we think of our relationship to God?)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬)

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, And her people a joy. I will rejoice in Jerusalem, And joy in My people; The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, Nor the voice of crying." (Isaiah‬ ‭65:17-19‬)

When God talks to us, speaks through us, or just lives with us, I don't think He is constantly having to push back negative thoughts about things we did in the past. The sins He removed are not persistent in bugging Him.

When God forgives us...He says that He remembers no more. I believe with all that I am that to be holy is to be made like God, and that what He wants for us is to be made holy. It makes sense then, to me, that the goal of forgiveness would be to forgive AND forget.

Now, as I said before, I am not the wisest or most experienced when it comes to deep emotional wounds. Maybe there are situations that are impossible to resolve to the extent that you would be able to forget this way. But I think we can all agree that at least, if we are to look at God and the goal of holiness, we must conclude that His desire for us is that we would be able to love like Him, and to love like Him we must forgive like Him, and to forgive like Him...we must forget like Him.

Reflection of a Saint

I feel very... humbled.

Sometimes it takes a shock for me to truly see my own reflection clearly, and today I got one.

This Canada Day has been a very strange day for me. I can almost guarantee that the situation which kickstarted my day will sounds quite silly to you.

I woke up this morning at 6:00am, and decided I wanted five more minutes of sleep. I woke up again at 7:09 to my sister, phone in hand. I was supposed to start work at 7:00.

When I arrived at work, I felt AWFUL. Ashamed of myself, and kicking myself over and over for thinking that I'd wake up to another alarm 5 minutes later, when I knew I had been having trouble waking up to alarms recently.

Each person who didn't make eye contact with me or didn't talk to me was noticed by me. Surely they were doing it on purpose.

I was sent to the back, to work the back booth in drive-thru. At first I was relieved to not be around people, but soon I felt very alone with my shame. I wanted to be with people who would just work, and remind me that I was thinking too much, and that no one else was thinking about it two hours later.

As I replayed the morning in my head, I suddenly realized that I felt so awful because for the first time in a while, I was stationed in front of a mirror which showed clearly my fallibility. I am FAR from perfect, and I felt that really strongly today.

I hated the fact that my perfect attendance record had been broken, that my reputation was damaged. My sister left for a month-long trip this morning, and what I had been calling loneliness suddenly was shown to be jealousy.

I came home to an almost empty house, my sister wanted help with her little children, and I looked for an excuse not to help. I hate writing this, because I do LOVE my nieces, and I love my sister and her husband, and I want in my heart of hearts so badly to be a servant, but I wanted to be lazy. This just added to my growing list of obvious imperfections, so I did what I could to remedy that, by taking  charge of my actions since my feelings were stubborn. I helped with the kids, and I am glad I did it. I was right to do it.

Yet still I feel a hole in me, like I was created with potential, and I have been living in willful ignorance of it.

While I was at work I cried out to God, and wished so hard that SOMEONE had brought a bible. No one had, so I prayed, thanking God that I have access by faith, not just through the written Word. But when I got home, what did I do? I surely didn't read my bible.

But still... God definitely loves me. After about 2:00, aside from moments that added to my list, my spirits were lifted over and over by little things people said and did to me. Not only at work, but my sister and brother in-law put on a BBQ for us, and friends came over to help, and more happened that I can't even remember right now. I feel like God blesses me the most when I can most clearly see that I don't deserve it, perhaps to teach me about grace.

Just before we ate supper, my two-year old niece said, "Tante Tuey (tante means aunt, my nickname is Tuey) is a very odd saint."

It brought to mind the many places in scripture where followers of God are called saints. Not so much the halo-adorned type of saint, but biblically, she is right. I am a very odd saint.

I have a lot of problems, today more obviously than most, but I am a saint.

“Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”
‭‭(Ephesians‬ ‭2:19-22‬)

Now I don't mean to make it out that you can live in sin and it doesn't matter because you are a saint. Being a saint is about being in relationship, and "being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit," who is holy and without sin. Sometimes the purification process is very uncomfortable, (like today!) and that, I find, is when God chooses to comfort you by reminding you that you ARE a saint. You may not be a fully developed, perfectly sanctified saint, but God doesn't expect you to be perfectly sanctified before He has sanctified you.

For Your Name's Sake

I didn't have a new epiphany this week, but I did remember an old one!

Truth: God is holy, and cannot tolerate sin.

Truth: "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Truth: God loves His children and dwells with them.

How can those three things be reconciled?

Christ COMPLETELY paid for our sins when He died. There is nothing we can do that will overcome what He did, He said it's finished. Paid in FULL.

Sometimes though, we think that we can somehow go too far. That at a certain point, God's patience and mercy MUST run out.

At least I do.

I tend to think that every time I sin, I must first ask for forgiveness and THEN Christ's sacrifice will have paid for it, but at a certain point, He must want to stop extending the sacrifice out.

Of course we must ask for forgiveness, but if you were to get struck by lightning a moment after you sinned, and didn't have time to confess, what then? Is Christ's sacrifice not great enough to overcome that?

Of course it is. We're back to the simple gospel, it is not about what you do, it's about what He has done.

Sorry, rabbit trailing a bit here.

Anyway, basically, if this is true, that when you sin you are guilty until He forgives you again, (which according to my logic, He may or may not do) then one of the above Truths must be false.

If sin stays on us (if we are guilty) until God forgives it, then either He can tolerate sin, and is not truly holy, (Truth 1 is a lie) we haven't actually sinned, (Truth 2 is a lie) or He cannot dwell with us. (Truth 3 is a lie.)

But those three statements are all true, and we know that the reason they are true is because of Christ's sacrifice, which again, paid for our sin in full. 

So this idea that we are still sinful after we have believed in Him and His sacrifice for us is wrong.

This is the verse which made this come alive again in my mind yesterday:

Help us, O God of our salvation, For the glory of Your name; And deliver us, and provide atonement for our sins, For Your name’s sake! (Psalms 79:9)

I'll add some emphasis so you can sort of see what I was thinking as I read this.

Help us, O God of our salvation, (Why?) For the glory of Your name; And deliver us, and provide atonement for our sins, (Why?) For Your name’s sake! (Psalms 79:9)

We think that God couldn't possibly forgive us any more, because we have really pushed our limits.

But it really isn't all about us. He forgives us because He loves us, so in that sense it is, but why does He love us?

Because of who we are, or because of who He is?

For God to love us beyond all reason says more about Him than it does us, it shows how loving He is, it shows who He is. 

He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (I John 4:8)

God says throughout the scriptures that He wants to be known, and in showing us love, He is showing us and those around us who He is.

No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” (Jeremiah 31:34)

Psalm 79:9 says that to help us, deliver us, and provide atonement for our sins, it will actually glorify His name! It will show everyone how great He is, that He would love that far.

I wrote in my notebook about this,

"To say that He can't love us because of something we did is to make ourselves stronger than God. It is partially for His sake that we should ask for deliverance, because if we love Him, we should desire His good reputation."

It is not that God needs us, or that somehow we can make or break His reputation, but when we allow Him to shower us with grace and forgiveness, we are not only accepting blessing, but allowing others through us to see the majesty of our Lord, which is also helping Him accomplish His greater purpose, because He wants to be known by men.

How Dead Is "Dead To Sin?"

"He is Risen!" Churches everywhere will cry tomorrow morning and evening.

He is risen indeed.   

Are we?

He died to our sins.

Did we?

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.” (Romans 6:1-4)    

I read an interesting internet debate yesterday between a Catholic and a Protestant, one holding the view that Christians can live sinless lives and the other holding that as we are a fallen race, we can't help but stumble sometimes, and in those times Christ has grace for us.

It was an interesting read for me because I have wondered about that for a while, and though I don't have a definite view on it yet, I could debate either side with zeal because both have biblical and logical ground, which is why I am still confused.

Before I get into it, let me just explain that before I decided I didn't know, I thought I understood that people are incapable of living perfectly. What confuses me are places in scripture which seem to indicate that we can.

Romans 6 says, "How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" It's asked with an attitude of, "That's silly! Why would we?"

The counter argument would be that we can try not to sin, but we will fail, because we are sinful creatures. After all...    

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23)

Yet then couldn't I say, the text is past tense? "for all HAVE sinned..."

In the very same passage it says,

“being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." (Romans 3:24-26)

 "The sins that were PREVIOUSLY committed, to demonstrate at the PRESENT time His righteousness, that He might be just and THE JUSTIFIER OF THE ONE WHO HAS FAITH IN JESUS."

What are your thoughts on the whole thing?

Jesus says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)

Is He really giving us a command that's impossible for us to keep? I thought He just freed us from the burden of the law, because it was impossible for us to keep.

Doesn't the bible tell us that we are "more than conquerors through Him who loved us?" (Note: That verse is present tense.)

Does "dying to sin," really speak of something in the distant future, or can we rise above that grave now?

The more I look at it, the more I am starting to be persuaded to think that we can. After all, everyone agrees that Christ is powerful enough to triumph over sin, in fact we'd say He already did. Is He now bound by a waiting period before sin can stop separating us from Him, or does the simple fact that the Holy Spirit lives in us give us the clue that perhaps...we can be without it?  

Another thing that makes me think this way is this. (It's not scripture, it's just logic.)

If we could live sinless during our life on earth, don't you think Satan would try to persuade us that we can't?

If we fully believe that we WILL sin (be it accidental or just in a moment of weakness) because of our fallen nature, don't you think we are more likely to? What if we fully believed that in EVERY situation, "with the temptation will He make the way of escape,"? (1 Corinthians 10:13) Don't you think we would have more will-power to say no to sin?

It would be in Satan's best interest to tell us that we CANNOT rise above sin, that we must always rely on Christ's forgiveness.

I am not suggesting that we don't rely on His forgiveness at all, because obviously we have sinned, and Christ has forgiven those sins, but going back to Romans 6, it seems to say that though we know we need grace and we are thankful for grace, we should not continue to do things that would cause us to need more of it.

“What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?” (Romans 6:15-16)

I brought up this discussion to my friend, and one thing he pointed out which I agree with, is that all things considered, it doesn't really matter which side of the argument is true. If you are truly a follower of Christ, you will be striving for perfection, whether or not you think you can attain it.

As I wanted to say when I read the internet debate about it, I don't think it is worth dividing the church over, because that would be another one of Satan's delights.

But if we are to have this conversation, the first time I encountered this view, I felt suddenly way more challenged to strive for holiness than I ever had before. If a goal is reachable, the race seems so much more worth running.  

God showed me something a few years ago which I will share with you, it's found in this verse.

 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Having life more abundantly is about abiding in Christ. I have never felt more fulfilled in my life than when I knew I was doing exactly what He wanted, and spending time with Him. Living in Christ gives a whole new meaning to the word LIFE.

He showed me that the reason I will love heaven is not because there will be no more tears or death, not because streets of gold, but because I will have abundant life the way I was starting to understand it here, but there with NO restrictions, no veils. Nothing between me and God.

But this isn't something to be only had in heaven, we can have life more abundantly here on earth, and this, I believe, is God's will for us. If we were living completely free from sin, we would definitely be more able to abide in Christ, (or if we were abiding in Christ, we'd be more likely to live sinlessly) so it makes sense to me that God would make a way for us to live sinlessly so that we could concentrate on learning how to more completely abide in Him.

For the past year or so I believe God has been teaching me about the significance of names. My name "Keturah" means "Holy," or "Holy Crown." (I've heard both translations) My middle name is "Love."

Maybe the reason I am so interested in this is because God has been showing me that there is a reason He gave me that name, and He is calling me to a higher level of holiness than what I am now. How sinless is it possible to be on earth? Can I really try to be perfect as He is perfect?

Again, it's all just food for thought. I don't know what I think of it quite yet, (although I think you can tell what direction I'm leaning) and I don't think it's worth dividing the church over, but it's definitely something to consider.

At least to ask yourself the question, if you knew that you could live sinlessly, would anything about your life or your efforts change? If so, whether or not you believe you can, allow Christ to refine you further.

Happy Easter. :)




End Note: I am going to Mississippi! If you would like to find out more about it and consider supporting me, please check out my GoFundMe page HERE. :) I'll be getting it fixed soon, but my donations are actually disabled right now, cause I have to get my withdrawal thing set up. So if you would like to donate something toward my trip, you can email me at dancingfor1king@gmail.com, and we can figure something out. My donations should be set up on the page soon.

Will It Fit Inside the Frame?

My dad said a while ago, that he has found that we each are given a glimpse of a part of who God is. Then, since we do not see the whole picture, we do the most logical thing possible, we build the rest of the picture ourselves, so that it makes sense with the part we learned.

We end up with a box with a frame around it and we refuse to look outside of the frame. But really, the only truth in our little frame is the little piece that God showed us.

I agreed with this because, I will sheepishly admit, it made sense, and made no sense at the same time. It seemed right, yet I had no personal experience I was relating it to.

Recently I have discovered a frame that I have built, and that frame is slowly being taken down as God reveals more of Himself to me.

Here it is. When I became a Christian, I was overwhelmed by God's love because I knew I did not deserve it. But the mark I knew that I had not hit was not based on old testament laws, or even the ten commandments, it was based solely on the innate sense of what righteousness was.

who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them. (Romans 2:15)

I have always known that God is just, and His wrath is not a thing to take lightly, and I understand the consequence of sin. However...man, this is difficult to put into words, I am still kind of turning this over in my head.

When I think about God, generally I think only about His love, His grace, His mercy. I have had a difficult time understanding what it means to fear God.

I would say that I do fear God, I fear Him with the fear that I would have for a father, it is a respect of His authority over me and ability to punish me, but with love at the same time. This is how I have always looked at the word fear when it is written in the bible in reference to God.

My only other experience with fear is a nightmarish sort of terror that I cannot imagine God wanting His children to think of Him as.

But recently I have been reading in Exodus, Deuteronomy, Numbers, and seeing God displeased with someone, and His response is, "Stone them. They don't get a second chance." Quite frankly, I was horrified. My experience with God as a loving, caring God, was not matching up with this.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that a while ago God was showing me how He was the same, old testament and new. So now...reading this, it was almost uprooting that belief.

I couldn't deal with myself being horrified at God, so I prayed earnestly that He would show me how this fits, because I did not want to be upset with the only One in my life who is never changing and ever loving.

He answered my prayer, and first began by showing me that He has absolutely 0 tolerance for sin. Without a perfect atonement for sin, He could not allow even the smallest defect to corrupt His people. 

But. He did love. With an even greater love than I had yet comprehended, He loved these people that were so full of defect. BECAUSE He loved them, He sent His only Son, and that is where the old testament and the new testament collide, where God could not let His people go on being struck down like that, because He loved them too much.

Anyway, as I said He has begun to show me this, so I do not fully understand the wrath of God, but the reason I am now open to this is because He broke down my frame and showed me that His wrath is not opposite His love, but they can work hand in hand, and that is why I was able to get that first glimpse of Love, because His wrath had to be satisfied.

There is a line I found in a blog post somewhere on the Internet, that was really good I thought. It goes like this, "The price of diluting God's wrath is diminishing God's holiness." -D.A. Carson

So my question now is not "Will it fit in the frame?" but "God, what is the frame?"

And now for an announcement. I have tried to be updating every week, which, anyone who has kept up with me knows has been failing since the beginning. But I just thought I would let you know anyway that I will be offline starting tomorrow until December 1st, so don't expect any blog posts within the next three weeks.

Have a lovely November, and God bless! :)