Does God Forget?

"Forgive and forget."

Agree or disagree?

For children who offend each other by taking an extra turn on the swing or playing with the other's toy, this is a simple and reasonable catch-phrase.

But for adults or children who have been seriously wounded by another person, given scars which will take years or a lifetime to recover from, are they really expected to...forget?

I have heard from various people in the church over the past few years that "Forgive and forget," is actually not biblical. For a relationship that has been damaged by someone who is likely to offend again, forgiving is necessary, but forgetting is foolish. Boundaries should be set in place, wisdom applied. You can't just pretend it never happened.

As reasonable as that all sounds though, something has always always sounded off about it to me. I haven't put my thoughts into words until now because I realize that I am young and inexperienced, and those people who have been through harder seasons than me are the ones saying this. So I feel that before I say anything on the subject, I should acknowledge that they may very well be right.

However, while my thoughts won't stop bugging me, I thought there could be no harm in penning them in an attempt to bring a new light to the discussion.

Why are we supposed to forgive?

"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew‬ ‭18:35‬)

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark‬ ‭11:25‬)

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John‬ ‭1:9‬)

We are to forgive because God forgives us. He showed us how to mend the most broken relationship with forgiveness, when He mended ours with Him.

How does God model forgiveness?

“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews‬ ‭10:16-17‬)

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah‬ ‭43:25‬)

“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalms‬ ‭103:12‬)

When God says that He "Remembers no more," does He wish us to disregard that statement so that when we forgive we can be protected? I don't think so.

Is God all-knowing?

So when He says He "forgets"....does He really? What does it mean for God to FORGET?

I was praying about this, and this is what came to mind. Obviously God doesn't actually lose that memory. If He needed to, He could address it. The obvious conclusion would be that He remembers, but chooses not to think about it or act on it.

If that were true that would still be amazing, but I don't actually think so.

Can you think of a time when someone hurt you, and you had to actively choose not to think about that thing that they did? When that happens, that wrong thing they did is SO hard to not think about because it's at the forefront of your mind. It's A: The first thing you think about when you think about them, and B: Still in your mind somewhere bugging you even when you choose to ignore it.

When God thinks about us, sin is not the first thing He thinks of. (Which raises an interesting question, should it really be the first thing we think of when we think of our relationship to God?)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬)

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, And her people a joy. I will rejoice in Jerusalem, And joy in My people; The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, Nor the voice of crying." (Isaiah‬ ‭65:17-19‬)

When God talks to us, speaks through us, or just lives with us, I don't think He is constantly having to push back negative thoughts about things we did in the past. The sins He removed are not persistent in bugging Him.

When God forgives us...He says that He remembers no more. I believe with all that I am that to be holy is to be made like God, and that what He wants for us is to be made holy. It makes sense then, to me, that the goal of forgiveness would be to forgive AND forget.

Now, as I said before, I am not the wisest or most experienced when it comes to deep emotional wounds. Maybe there are situations that are impossible to resolve to the extent that you would be able to forget this way. But I think we can all agree that at least, if we are to look at God and the goal of holiness, we must conclude that His desire for us is that we would be able to love like Him, and to love like Him we must forgive like Him, and to forgive like Him...we must forget like Him.