Day in the Life of a Pro-Life Activist - I'm Not Worth More

This week, we are finally back to activism! Moment of truth here: I have been really struggling with the shut-down, one of the main reasons being the fact that abortion was considered “an essential service,” but pro-life groups were shut down.

I decided back in September 2019 that I was going to pursue pro-life activism full time. I made plans toward that goal, and then COVID-19 happened and I sat around helplessly for 3 months; it was not a good feeling.

Feeling helpless, however, drew my mind constantly back to two things:

1. A scene from the 2004 movie, “Hotel Rwanda.”
2. Something I wrote when I first made the decision to join the pro-life movement full time. 

Hotel Rwanda is about a man named Paul Rusesabagina who helped victims of the Rwandan Genocide in 1994. The movie was hard to watch and often almost moved me to tears, but there was one scene in particular that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since.

Paul has been keeping a hotel full of guests/refugees safe amidst the horrific genocide of Hutus against Tutsis, staving off invasion until they finally receive help from the UN. The moment the UN soldiers come, you feel the same euphoria as everyone in the hotel, they are all going to be alright.

The euphoria lasts until Colonel Oliver (the leader of the UN peacekeeping forces) brings the news that the UN is not there to help them. They’re there to take the white people home.*

What struck me was this: As the white people lined up to board the bus that would take them to safety, many of them had to be physically pulled away from the Rwandans they had come to know and love. One young journalist tearfully tried to give money to a Rwandan woman, but they both knew that no amount of money would help her.

I felt like I could relate completely to the feeling of helplessness that those people must’ve felt. Simply because the UN valued their lives above the Rwandans,’ they were being taken to safety, and forced to leave their friends to be slaughtered.

I feel that helplessness every time I look at a picture of a victim of abortion. I feel it every time someone angrily asks “Why won’t you stand up for women?” My heart cries, “Why can’t I stand up for their children?”

Before writing what I am about to share with you, I had just read Amazing Grace by Eric Metaxas, (the story of William Wilberforce) and I was feeling inspired to jump into the fight against abortion with both feet in, yet I knew that there was one thing that would make this fight long and hard. This was what I wrote on September 30th, 2019:

I wish I could lay my life down to show that it’s not worth more than the hundreds of children that die every day all around me. I don’t see them, I don’t hear them, my children won’t meet them.

But I won’t die for them, because the people around me have deemed my life more valuable than theirs. Society will protect me, but it won’t protect them. Instead I must live for them. 

But it’s hard to live for someone you’ll never get to meet, to cry over someone who will die despite your tears. To love someone who will never know, because the one who should’ve loved them most decided that they were less valuable than you.

It’s hard. I haven’t even started, but my heart aches. I want to go faster, to work harder, to stay up late and get up early, if it would stop the heartache. 

Their hearts won’t ache like mine. Their eyes won’t see the carnage. Their little hands and feet won’t move anymore.

Their cause must be taken up by me. Their voice must be heard through me. My hands, my feet, must gesture and walk for them.

After all, isn’t my every heartbeat a gift? I’ll give it to them.

*I haven’t done a lot of research into the genocide of 1994, so my analysis of the situation in Rwanda in this post is based on my observation from the movie. There was a black man who seemed to be allowed to leave with the white people, so I don’t know if they were taking all citizens of other countries, but they were specifically leaving Rwandan refugees behind.

My Thoughts on COVID-19

Like everyone else in the whole world it seems, I have heard little more than the words "Corona Virus" for the past week.

My sister posted a photo the other day, with a caption about all of the hype. One line that stood out to me in her post was this,

"The troubling thing to me is that it seems there are only two stances you can take and they’re very opposing sides: You either are taking it very seriously and are therefore overly paranoid, or you’re brushing it off like it’s nothing and therefore burying your head in the sand and contributing to the problem. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground, at least not where social media is concerned. Can we just accept that this is a thing and it IS serious and should be treated as such? But can we also be rational and promote rational thinking and actions instead of absolute mayhem and a survival-of-the-fastest-to-the-toilet-paper-aisle attitude?" -Deborah Kakoz

I haven't been overly vocal about this whole thing, mostly because I feel like I'm not quite educated enough to "pick a side." The optimist in me wants to brush it all off like it's nothing, but the realist in me pauses, unsure what to think.

I think Deborah said it well, "Can we just accept that this is a thing and it IS serious and should be treated as such? But we can also be rational..."

As I have mulled it over, I've had one passage in the bible that has stayed almost constantly in my mind.

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mark 16:15-18)

I'm not trying to prophesy that the Church will not be affected by the Corona Virus. But I am trying to point out that the Church has NOTHING to fear. God has complete control over the Corona Virus, and He is completely on our side.

I didn't really realize that passage was in my head until about the sixth time I thought of it, and then I thought, "Why don't I put together a blog post about what the bible has to say about fear?"

You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,

And called from its farthest regions,

And said to you,

‘You are My servant,

I have chosen you and have not cast you away:

Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ (Isaiah 41:9-10)

My intent in this post is not to tell you all what you should think or do about COVID19, but just to point out what the bible says, and what people who have been through hardship before us have said.

Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:5-9)

From the Netherlands, 1982:

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” -Corrie Ten Boom, "Clippings from my Notebook"

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ (or what toilet paper shall we use?) For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:31-34)

In all of my mulling, I keep coming back to this: That we have nothing to fear because Jesus loves us, AND because He has created us for a purpose. The Church exists in every historical moment to be a light in the darkness, which means YOU exist in THIS moment for a purpose.

From Belfast, 1948:

“This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb*, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. It may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but it need not dominate our minds.” -C.S. Lewis, "On Living in an Atomic Age"

*C.S. Lewis was writing about the Atomic Bomb, but you may substitute "Corona Virus" for "atomic bomb."

"And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

From Germany, Early 1500's, concerning "the Black Death:"

"I shall ask God mercifully to protect us. Then I shall fumigate, help purify the air, administer medicine and take it. I shall avoid places and persons where my presence is not needed in order not to become contaminated and thus perchance inflict and pollute others and so cause their death as a result of my negligence. If God should wish to take me, he will surely find me and I have done what he has expected of me and so I am not responsible for either my own death or the death of others. If my neighbor needs me however I shall not avoid place or person but will go freely as stated above. See this is such a God-fearing faith because it is neither brash nor foolhardy and does not tempt God."

-Martin Luther, "The Annotated Luther, Volume 4: Pastoral Writings, page 404."

From The United States of America, 2020:

"We are more likely to lose a relationship due to neglect than to a virus." -Mercy Hope (my good friend)

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. (James 1:22-25)

Goodnight my friends! I hope none of us catch Corona, but more than that, I hope we become better Christians because (not in spite) of it.