The Call that Kept Calling

On Tuesday, December 6th, my Grandpa passed away.

As one of the younger grandchildren, I didn't know him as well as a lot of my siblings and cousins, so I don't have a whole blog post full of memories and feelings to write, but I wanted to share something that has really meant a lot to me.

My grandparents influenced a LOT of people. I think they saw a lot of fruit from their labor, but I'm sure a lot of fruit was never seen by them, and sometimes they saw fruit from labor they never saw.

What I mean by that is simply that God works in so many ways, and when people are following Him and open to being used by Him, He can use them in situations in which they can't even see Him working.

One of those times was 6 years ago, when he talked with his 11 year old granddaughter on the phone, on her birthday.

Grandpa always called us on our birthdays, I was happy to talk to him. He asked if I wanted him to start giving out $200 to people on their birthdays, I joked along and said yes.

But then he said something I don't think I'll ever forget.

"My eleventh year was a huge growing year for me spiritually," he told me. He said some more, something along the lines of it being a huge turning point and he grew really close to God that year.

I was really mad at him for saying that.

What he didn't know, was that I had started into the darkest season of my life a year earlier. Everything had been getting steadily worse, and I knew, going into my eleventh year, that it was going to be even worse.

I was purposely turning my back on God, and I did NOT want that kind of reminder. I didn't let on, I said something polite and tried to change the subject.

This dark season continued for the next two years. I became a Christian when I was 13, but before that, God never stopped calling me.

When I look back, I see SO many ways God called me during those three years, and one of the ways He continued to use was that memory.

It came back to me many, many times, and I remember thinking about that with so much regret when I became a Christian. God opened my eyes to the amount of people who had been praying for me, even though no one knew what I was struggling through, and He impressed it on me that my grandparents had prayed for me a lot.

I am so, so grateful for my grandparents.

I wiah I could tell my grandpa how much that phone call means to me now, but I can't. By the time I overcame my fear of telling anyone about that time in my life, he had developed alzheimers. If I told him, he wouldn't remember the phone call, and he might not even remember me.

But I look forward to seeing him someday when we're both in the company of our favorite person, and I can look into the face of the One who called me into relationship with Himself, and one of the ones He used to get my attention.

Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, (I Timothy 2:1)

Celebrations!

Family, laughter, lights, music, decorations, fresh baking, apple cider...

Christmas.

This week we have OFFICIALLY gotten into the Christmas spirit.

We went back to Windsor to visit our grandpa who is in the hospital, and got to spend a few days at home. There was no pretense, home was home, exactly as it always is. Chaos.

Christmas decorations had started to make their way up, amidst leftover harvest decorations, the messiness that naturally follows seven kids coming home within a few days of each other, and wedding preparation.

We went to our church on Sunday, and there was no pretense there either. The moment I stepped foot in the doors, I was greeted by a hearty, "Hey! Can you do the slides for me?" Yup. Home.

When we got back to our home away from home, we all went out to buy Christmas decorations and a tree, and then came back to fresh cinnamon buns, apple cider, and a decorating party. It was lovely.

But who just has ONE Christmas party? Christmas is a season! I believe in taking full advantage of it, and thankfully, so does my family. So the next day we had Part 2, which was also great.

After that, we drove to Michigan on Friday for my sister Becky's wedding. But there is never an end to entertainment!

We had packed these oranges to eat on the road. So maybe two hours into our trip, we got them out and passed them around. I started to peel mine, and had a suspicion that something was off when all I saw was brown under the skin. I peeled a little more, but this orange just looked quite sketchy.

...yeah, I just won't finish that story. If anyone is a little squeamish, you won't want to hear it. So we ended up throwing that one out, but then, a few hours later, we discovered two extra oranges! Yay! "Now I'll get one!" I naively thought.

Yeah, that one was rotten too. Mine were the ONLY two that were rotten, I might add.

Anyway, the rehearsal went smoothly, the only thing was that the venue was FRIGID.

No worries though, they were putting heaters in. Well, as we were about to leave for the hotel, we breathed in the sweet smell of propane. Apparently the heaters had a gas leak. Typical.

But the wedding was WONDERFUL. Everything was beautiful, it all went smoothly, I had some good dances and meaningful chats, and gained a fantastic brother.

(also, I just thought this verse was appropriate for the wedding. God loves celebrations.)

Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

P.S. Have you ever lain with your head underneath a Christmas tree? You should try it sometime, it's very relaxing. I learned this from my oldest sister, who, I have realized as of late, I have learned a TON of stuff from over the years. She is very wise.

P.P.S. Have you ever caught little pieces of paper with chopsticks as they came raining down from above? This I learned from my other sister, the one who just got married. She is also very wise, and knows how to start good Christmas traditions. Even if those traditions don't actually get off the ground. It was still fun while it lasted.

In Which God Spoke Through a Teabag (among other things)

Wow! What to write about! I may be feeling like SO much has happened because we just finished our very first performance of Christmas tour, but it seems like it's been ages since I last wrote.

This week has really been full of small things. We've had a lot of stuff going on, classes and rehearsals as usual, as well as two dress rehearsals, American Thanksgiving, youth group, and the performance this morning. But the things that really stand out to me from this week were lots of little moments in which I was able to see God's hand. (and His sense of humor)

The earliest one that comes to mind is one day when I made myself a cup of tea. We have this box called "Bible Verse Tea," and it's an assortment of different herbal teas, so each bag is a surprise, and every tag has a bible verse.

So I opened it up in the morning, and picked a bag out. 

Now...I like to pay a lot of attention to small coincidences, because most often, I find, they really aren't coincidences at all. So before I even looked at the verse, I was sure that God would lead my hand to which bag He wanted, and that verse would be for me.

The verse was Ephesians 6:10,

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Just on Sunday, God had used that whole passage, starting in verse 10, to relieve some stress about a certain situation I was dealing with. I hadn't even realized it, but I had been thinking about that situation subconsciously, all morning.

That was cool. God knew what was on my mind even when I didn't even realize it, but then I poured the water over the teabag and smelled mint. I laughed. Just before my sister Naomi went back overseas, she and I had peppermint tea with honey several days in a row, and called it "No stress tea." It's the kind you have when you want to get rid of stress.

Another moment which was kind of awesome, was on...I want to say Thursday? I woke up that morning very discouraged. Feeling very unworthy, unlovable, and unable to go into the presence of God. 

I prayed that God would speak to me, and tell me what He wanted me to know. I was hoping He would give me some encouragement, but I was open to the possiblity that He might not. Maybe He would convict me, or show me something about myself that was hindering me from coming to Him.

I opened my bible, and read Psalm 100:4,

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

I felt like He was just like, "Come here. Just be thankful, and come."

And the last moment I'll share with you actually happened last night, or technically this morning.

For some odd reason I've been waking up at 3:11am for the past four or five nights. Last night we got home from youth group at 9:30, and I had to get up at 5 this morning.

I wasn't complaining or anything, but I was praying, just kind of expressing my desire to not wake up at 3:11 again, since I had to get up early.

Sure enough, I woke up in the pitch dark, so I checked my iPod clock. 2:11. Haha.

Well, at least if I move down one more hour, it'll be 1:11! :D

#1:11Ministries #iusehashtagscausetheyrecool

#nojudging

Christmas Tour Projects, and God Behind the Scenes

Once again, I'm writing on the road home. I think there is something about long drives that inspires me, and when I get inspired, that tends to come out on my blog.

So here I am again, I'm going home. SO excited. I'm even more pumped because my family doesn't know! They will by the time I post this, but right now, they are clueless. We'll only be home overnight, we have classes tomorrow, but it's still awesome.

Anyway, I'll just give you a quick update on what we've been up to this week, and then share a thought that's been on my mind.

A few days ago, we started the very ambitious task of taping our bedroom. 

Just to give you an idea, picture a bedroom, now cut it in half horizontally. The bottom half of the room, most of the way around, is all wood. The upper half is lined with wood, and has wood strips all over, leaving the painted wall exposed in rectangles all over the wall and ceiling, in between the wood strips. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Anyway, now picture the painted parts being bubblegum pink. That's not even that bad, until you realize that there's another part of the wall which is deep red, and the carpet that was promptly ripped out before we even moved in, (Thank you, Rachel and Carolyn!) was a thick orange and red shag carpet. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Anyway, so the project to naturally follow the ripping out of the carpet, is the repainting of the walls and ceiling.

However, like I said, that task was a little bit ambitious. My neck hurt a lot after doing the ceiling. But we did it! It may have been ambitious, but we are ambitious people. What can I say? We're dancers.

We've also made Christmas Wish Lists, had dance parties, and discovered the genius kitchen skills of my sister Anna. (which could be a post all it's own, but I'll leave that for another time)

So now that you have read all about what we've been doing, I just wanted to share a thought that I had the other day with you. I was emailing someone recently, and I said, "God doesn't need an audience to be awesome."

Those words have kind of stuck with me since that moment, they keep coming back, and making me think.

We love to have an audience for when we do good or impressive things. God made us that way, and it's not a bad thing. In fact, I think it shows a part of who He is as well, because we were made in His image. He does like to be seen, to be known, and known for what He does. He likes to be remembered, and given credit.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. (Exodus 20:2)

Oh, give thanks to the Lord ! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! (Psalms 105:1)

So again, this is not a bad thing. I have been to performances which I have been extremely blessed by. Performance is a good thing.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)

But for all the work that God does which is seen, He does a LOT that goes unseen, unnoticed, unappreciated.

He sets an amazing example for us, being similarly wired in that we love to be recognized, that not everything we do needs an audience.

But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly. (Matthew 6:3, 4)

The cool thing is that even when we follow His example and do things "in secret," He still sees. We still have an audience, and one that will never misunderstand our intentions, or criticize us for lack of skill.

Once again, He is amazing, and I just want to take a moment to recognize Him for the amount of work that neither you or I will ever even know about. 

Thank you, Jesus. :)

Week 4, Part 1: All the Goings On

It's like I actually have a busy life. Who knew, right?

Lots has happened the past week, we've been keeping busy with all of the usual things, but I'll skip the boring details and just tell you about the fun stuff.

First of all, our teacher decided to put all three of us through an exam! Ahh!!

We just started learning the syllabus four weeks ago, I just started pointe four weeks ago, and we're preparing for a major exam as well as a Christmas production. Sound like a lot? It is. My poor muscles.

In all seriousness though, I love it, as challenging as it is.

We just found out our exam dates a few days ago, Anna and Tabithah's exam was this morning, and I will be taking mine on Monday. Prayers are appreciated.

Despite all of the craziness, we still manage to have time for fun things, so we all went to the Toronto Zoo on Tuesday!

None of the three of us had ever been to a zoo, so it was a fun first experience. And we got Beavertails, also a first. Definitely not the last time. :D

Baby pandas!

I feel like an official Canadian, I saw a Polar bear, and ate Beavertails in one day.

Pics or it didn't happen? Proof.

The head lion.

My sisters being a couple of show-offs. I mean, you can't see a canoe and not do the splits in it, right?

As the title suggests, I am going to post again tomorrow for this week, because I had a really awesome thought, more along the lines of my usual blog posts, that I want to share.

I hope you're as excited to read it as I am to post it!

Week 4, Part 2: Every Good Gift

Recently, I had a lovely thought.

It started with thinking about my lack of turnout, which, if you know much about ballet, is a big deal. It's something which you have to have, and I do not have very much of naturally.

It wasn't really negative, but I was thinking about how hard I will have to work to overcome that, when the thought popped into my head, "Your body is a gift."

Suddenly, I realized that God gave it to me! :D

It seems like a really simple thought, like yeah, I knew that, but suddenly it felt like a privilege. Everything that I have to do, stretching it like crazy and overcoming "obstacles," is really a privilege, and not everyone gets to experience the road that I will get to take with my body.

A few days later, I was stretching in the studio, and I looked up at a poster on the wall, which quoted from James 1-17.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights...

It only took me a moment before I realized that not only is "every good and perfect gift" from above, but EVERY GIFT THAT IS FROM ABOVE is "Good and perfect."

Woah!! I really love this thought.

In case I had any doubts that God was trying to teach me this, they were discarded last Saturday, when we had ministry training, and the directors of 1:11 Ministries were focusing on eating disorders, and self image.

I don't think I have ever been one to have a really bad self image, I've had my moments, but I tend to be pretty positive about myself. I'm not sure why God chose to teach me about that these past two weeks, but I'm just glad He did, because it makes me really happy.

Also, just another note on that verse which is sort of unrelated, but which just made the whole thing a little bit more cool, is the "Father of Lights" part.

I have always loved that part, because it reminds me of Matthew 5:14.

“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden."

Jesus says we are lights, and then James calls God the "Father of Lights."

Looking at that with the rest of the verse, that my body is a gift given me because it is good and perfect, by the Father of Lights, who is my father, because I am a light...it's just super cool.

I'll include the whole verse here at the bottom, because if anyone has heard my talk about my favorite things about God, it's FAITHFULNESS!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. (James 1:17)

See you next week! :)

No, I'm THE Big Fat Panda

This week has been similar to the previous ones here in Crystal Beach, lots of laughing amidst dancing, eating, school, dancing, pain, housework, and more dancing.

I will say though, it definitely had it's moments to stand out from the rest. For one thing, I have officially become The Dragon Warrior. Well, Po anyway.

One day I was thinking about how much I am like Po from Kungfu Panda, seriously, the more I thought about it, the more clear it became. We are the same.

I'm all inspired by other dancers, and wish I could be just like them.

But then I try...

"There is now a level zero."

But I am determined to improve!

"Don't worry master, I will never quit!"

And then my weakness was discovered.

And so Carolyn assumed the role of Master Shifu, and made me pirouette in a circle of chocolate bars on the ground. No word of a lie.

I couldn't help but laugh, as I had JUST been comparing myself to Po, and then she came up with that. Totally independently, I didn't say anything about Kungfu Panda before the chocolate bars.

So yes. This is my life.

But one day, I will BE the Dragon Warrior. I believe it.

In the meantime, God has given me so much to be thankful for!

The other day I was sitting in the loft above our garage as it rained. The rain was pelting down on the roof just above me, I had epic music playing, which mixed really well with the rain, until you couldn't hear the music anymore because the rain was so loud! It was lovely.

Anyway, it was the perfect time to just pray and be alone with Jesus, and a verse came to mind that I had read the day before.

Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. (Psalms 30:4)

I love how this verse encourages us to give thanks just at the very remembrance of His holiness. Every time it comes to mind, it is the perfect time to thank Him.

Because no matter what is going on, whether you are dreaming about ballet while making noodles in your father's restaurant, or sitting in a loft enjoying God's presence, or fighting an evil kungfu master, God is holy, and unchanging, and good.