Provoked to Jealousy and Birth

Last year I decided to read through the bible front to back, a decision I have made many times in the past and always ended up going back to my comfy place, the Psalms and/or Epistles.

But this time I have really stuck with it, a huge part of the reason has been that I didn't limit myself to one chapter a day. It's amazing how doing less can actually steal your motivation faster. It seems easier, but trust me, it's not.

Anyway, so I've gotten up to Ezekiel. While I was having fun trotting through all the symbolism in Ezekiel 8 this morning, I made a connection which I thought was pretty cool.

The chapter starts off with a being (angel, Holy Spirit, not really sure) appearing to Ezekiel and leading him through the temple. They start off at the door of the north gate of the inner court, it says, "where the seat of the image of jealousy was, which provokes to jealousy."

“Then He said to me, “Son of man, lift your eyes now toward the north.” So I lifted my eyes toward the north, and there, north of the altar gate, was this image of jealousy in the entrance. Furthermore He said to me, “Son of man, do you see what they are doing, the great abominations that the house of Israel commits here, to make Me go far away from My sanctuary? Now turn again, you will see greater abominations.” So He brought me to the door of the court; and when I looked, there was a hole in the wall. Then He said to me, “Son of man, dig into the wall”; and when I dug into the wall, there was a door. And He said to me, “Go in, and see the wicked abominations which they are doing there.” So I went in and saw, and there—every sort of creeping thing, abominable beasts, and all the idols of the house of Israel, portrayed all around on the walls. And there stood before them seventy men of the elders of the house of Israel, and in their midst stood Jaazaniah the son of Shaphan. Each man had a censer in his hand, and a thick cloud of incense went up. Then He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The LORD does not see us, the LORD has forsaken the land.’ ” And He said to me, “Turn again, and you will see greater abominations that they are doing.” So He brought me to the door of the north gate of the LORD’s house; and to my dismay, women were sitting there weeping for Tammuz."

I'll just interrupt here to explain that Tammuz was a "god of fertility," who had supposedly been banished to the underworld. I don't know if at this point in history they actually experienced a problem with childbearing, but the idea was that the fertility god was gone and no longer able to help them.

"Then He said to me, “Have you seen this, O son of man? Turn again, you will see greater abominations than these.” So He brought me into the inner court of the LORD’s house; and there, at the door of the temple of the LORD, between the porch and the altar, were about twenty-five men with their backs toward the temple of the LORD and their faces toward the east, and they were worshiping the sun toward the east. And He said to me, “Have you seen this, O son of man? Is it a trivial thing to the house of Judah to commit the abominations which they commit here? For they have filled the land with violence; then they have returned to provoke Me to anger. Indeed they put the branch to their nose. Therefore I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity;and though they cry in My ears with a loud voice, I will not hear them.” (Ezekiel‬ ‭8:1-18‬)

It seemed like there should be some significance in the order of the abominations shown to Ezekiel, since they started at the gate of the court, dug through the wall to find a door which they went into, and then went further still into the inner court of the Lord's house.

So naturally, I thought about lists which might match the "list" being built in this chapter. My first

thought was Egypt, Tammuz reminded me of their various fertility gods, and the sun worship reminded me of Ra. With the ten plagues, God attacked their gods by directly attacking that which their gods supposedly protected. (Ex: the darkness which covered the land, and the death of all the firstborn children)

After the plagues, God led His people out of Israel and gave them the Ten Commandments, which is where I looked.

What I found was that the list of the Ten Commandments did not match up with the four abominations Ezekiel saw, but interestingly, everything seemed to be covered in "the first and greatest commandment."

"And God spoke all these words, saying: “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. “You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.” (Exodus‬ ‭20:1-6‬)

"You shall have no other gods before Me." Like the idols they were burning incense to in the temple.

"Any likeness of anything that is in heaven above..." Like the sun they were worshipping with their
backs to the temple.

"...or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to 
them nor serve them." Like the animals they were also burning incense to.

"For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God..." Reminds me of the seat of jealousy which provokes to jealousy.

"...visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me..." Was Tammuz banished, or was God visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon their children?



I don't know if this really has any intended significance, but here are some ideas I've been thinking about.

When God revealed the Ten Commandments, He had just led His people out of oppression, they were ready and willing to follow Him, they had a good future ahead. But God knew already then, that by Ezekiel's time, they would be doing the exact things He told them not to do. Yet the promise He offered was the same.

The way the two passages align is very similar, but the way they end is very different.

"Therefore I also will act in fury. My eye will not spare nor will I have pity; and though they cry in 
My ears with a loud voice, I will not hear them.”

"but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.”

It sort of looks like the "Old Testament God" vs "New Testament God," but the great thing to realize is that the mercy one was written first. In foresight of all that would happen, "Old Testament God" promised that He would always punish evil, like He did in Ezekiel's time, and would always show mercy to those who broke the pattern of curse and chose to love Him.

Ezekiel and the Ten Commandments seems like a weird discussion at Christmas, but I actually think it ties in perfectly with this celebration.
We have provoked God to jealousy, we have broken His covenant and turned to other sources for what He promised to give us. He led us out of (figurative) Egypt and we turned right back to Egypt's chains.

His solution for us was to come and be born humbly in every possible respect, be raised among the children of the people who had exchanged Him for gods of wood and stone, and die the death of a criminal, amongst criminals, by the hands of criminals.

But He was not the sort of God that could be banished to the underworld, He rose again, proving to us that if death itself could not keep His love from us, who were we to think we could?

Merry Christmas friends. :)



Also...

Guess what? I'm going to Mississippi! The plan is to go to a summer dance intensive by one of my favorite companies, Ballet Magnificat, in July of 2018. To do that, I will need to raise some money, so if you would like to support my trip, you can check out my GoFundMe campaign HERE. Thanks in advance!

~Keturah

The Last Week

My next blog post will be written after a week at home.

Time flies! I can't believe these two months are nearly over. This has been an amazing experience.

But I'm still here, and we're still busy, so I'll tell you about it.

We finished our room! I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that we were painting it. Well, we finished it, but then we decided it needed a little sprucing up. 

White walls are a little boring, you know, and it's Christmas, and we had all of this leftover paint-splattered lime green tape from the walls, so we figured, what better use for it? It became bows of varying sizes stuck onto the walls, (I highly recommend decorating with tape, by the way, the stickiness is very handy) and a little something extra on the mistletoe ball. And a lightswitch decoration. And a candle decoration. And a random massive ball hanging from the ceiling. It's like duct tape, it has a million purposes!

So, to the tune of Christmas Song by Alvin and the Chipmunks, our proud teacher and hostesses were introduced to our masterpiece. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, they were so moved.

Okay, they didn't cry. But they did say it was unique. That should count for something.

So what shall I tell you of next?

Should I talk about the baby carrot, the crazy trick I almost learned, or Niagara on the Lake?

Those are all great stories, but I think I'll just talk about Niagara on the Lake today.

Neither myself nor my sisters had ever been to Niagara on the Lake, so Rachel and Carolyn (if you don't know who they are by now, they're my sister and second cousin/dance teacher) decided it was an outing that had to happen before we left.

We went on Thursday, which was right after a huge snowfall Wednesday evening. The weather was clear, but the snow was still everywhere, it was BEAUTIFUL. It was like the picture of Christmas.

After looking through the first shop, where I fell in love with more than one overpriced teabox and travel mug, we were met by the others in our group bearing peace on earth and good will toward men. Chai lattes for all.

We moved on and had a splendid time looking through all the shops. I tried on a blue hat with a peacock feather on it, and wished I had money to spend on all kinds of teacups, jewelry, and other things.

We walked into the Scottish shop, and I wished my whole family was there. I picked out items I'd love to buy for my dad, my brother, and my sister.

It's a good thing I'm not rich. But when I'm in a Scottish shop, it doesn't seem like such a terrible idea.

We also found a chocolate bar as big as my leg, if not bigger. It was fabulous.

However, there was a certain point in our journeys when I found something I wanted to buy.

After I overcame my fear of talking to the cashier, I was then faced with my insecurity of being the only one who had made a purchase.

"It's okay," I told myself. "They'll buy stuff too, they just haven't found anything yet."

Well, we move onto the next store, and what should I see but the PERFECT gift for someone else, sitting right in front of my nose, and at an affordable price.

AAHHH!!! My emotions. I wanted to buy it, but I didn't want to make ANOTHER purchase when no one else had bought anything yet! Well, in the end, I overcame my insecurity, (or at least pressed it down for a bit, it came back later) and bought it as well.

I am still amazed at myself for doing such a daring thing. TWICE! #noshame #butdontjudgeme #orImighthavesomeshame

As I conclude my last post of this trip, I'm just going to say that God has been so good to me. I've gone through a wide variety of emotions while being here, I've had moments of frustration and encouragement, sadness and joy, loneliness and lovedness, (that's a poor way to say it, but I can't think of how else to phrase that) discomfort and comfortableness, but I have never felt strained.

God told me at the beginning of this adventure that He meant it as a resting place for me, and though I've been challenged, I've never felt pushed. Though I've given of myself, I've never felt spent, and though I've been stressed, there has never been an absence of peace.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

I feel very much refreshed, and better equipped to go home and take up the cross that awaits me there.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. (Matthew 16:24)

But in my last few days, I'm still leaning back and letting God work. We have our last performance on Sunday, and a huge rehearsal tomorrow, which is why I'm posting this early.

I just...ahh. I want to tell you all about how good Jesus is. How sweet it is to just relax and be where He is. But really, I can't tell you, I need to learn it still. Please learn it with me though, because I know that it is wonderful, and you will never spend your time better.

I woke up at 3:30 a couple nights ago, and saw that the fire had gone out. (our fireplace is across from the couch where I sleep) So I got up and went to build it again, and as I rose off of the couch, I realized, "Me and Jesus are the only ones up right now." 

I just decided to focus on Him, and build the fire with the awareness that He was with me, watching me. Helping me, I believe, because that fire started beautifully, and I am not good at it on the first try.

When I went and laid down again, I looked at it with satisfaction, and just had this feeling that He was enjoying it too.

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. (John 15:9)

Celebrations!

Family, laughter, lights, music, decorations, fresh baking, apple cider...

Christmas.

This week we have OFFICIALLY gotten into the Christmas spirit.

We went back to Windsor to visit our grandpa who is in the hospital, and got to spend a few days at home. There was no pretense, home was home, exactly as it always is. Chaos.

Christmas decorations had started to make their way up, amidst leftover harvest decorations, the messiness that naturally follows seven kids coming home within a few days of each other, and wedding preparation.

We went to our church on Sunday, and there was no pretense there either. The moment I stepped foot in the doors, I was greeted by a hearty, "Hey! Can you do the slides for me?" Yup. Home.

When we got back to our home away from home, we all went out to buy Christmas decorations and a tree, and then came back to fresh cinnamon buns, apple cider, and a decorating party. It was lovely.

But who just has ONE Christmas party? Christmas is a season! I believe in taking full advantage of it, and thankfully, so does my family. So the next day we had Part 2, which was also great.

After that, we drove to Michigan on Friday for my sister Becky's wedding. But there is never an end to entertainment!

We had packed these oranges to eat on the road. So maybe two hours into our trip, we got them out and passed them around. I started to peel mine, and had a suspicion that something was off when all I saw was brown under the skin. I peeled a little more, but this orange just looked quite sketchy.

...yeah, I just won't finish that story. If anyone is a little squeamish, you won't want to hear it. So we ended up throwing that one out, but then, a few hours later, we discovered two extra oranges! Yay! "Now I'll get one!" I naively thought.

Yeah, that one was rotten too. Mine were the ONLY two that were rotten, I might add.

Anyway, the rehearsal went smoothly, the only thing was that the venue was FRIGID.

No worries though, they were putting heaters in. Well, as we were about to leave for the hotel, we breathed in the sweet smell of propane. Apparently the heaters had a gas leak. Typical.

But the wedding was WONDERFUL. Everything was beautiful, it all went smoothly, I had some good dances and meaningful chats, and gained a fantastic brother.

(also, I just thought this verse was appropriate for the wedding. God loves celebrations.)

Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

P.S. Have you ever lain with your head underneath a Christmas tree? You should try it sometime, it's very relaxing. I learned this from my oldest sister, who, I have realized as of late, I have learned a TON of stuff from over the years. She is very wise.

P.P.S. Have you ever caught little pieces of paper with chopsticks as they came raining down from above? This I learned from my other sister, the one who just got married. She is also very wise, and knows how to start good Christmas traditions. Even if those traditions don't actually get off the ground. It was still fun while it lasted.

A Place of Rest

At this moment, I am sitting in a car, watching rain hit the windshield. 

Okay, so I'm staring at my iPod screen, but in between sentences, I'm watching the rain.

Guess where I'm going? Home!

In my last two posts, I told y'all about my invitation to train and tour with 1:11 Ministries for two months. Well, I was thinking maybe you'd like to know how that's going, so I'm going to write about it.

We just finished week 1. I'm on the road right now, heading home for my sister's bridal shower, but we'll be making the trip back Monday morning, in time for my first class at 10:30 am.

This first week has been awesome. Every day I take two ballet technique classes, and a choreography class. We've been working on a different dance each day, so it's a lot to cram into my head, but it's been really good.

I'm not going to write a super long post, for your sakes, although I have a ton I could write about. The highlight of this week was definitely at the beginning, when God showed me something amazing.

Man, I'm trying to write short, but everything has backstory! Okay, so the synopsis of what you need to know, is that for a really long time now, I have been struggling hard. Spiritually, emotionally, not having a good time. I've been trying to cling to truth, and seek God in it all, but it's just been so blatantly obvious how bad I am at that.

Anyway, it kind of reached a peak recently, where I just felt like I was about to reach the end of my rope, and I needed...something. I honestly had no idea what I needed. Rest? Revival? Breakthrough? I didn't know anymore. I'm so glad Jesus did. :)

This trip, as much as it was like a dream come true, felt like another thing added to the burden I was carrying. I could barely even get excited about it, I just got stressed out.

I realized something on the road to my new house though, I was leaving a lot of things that were burdening me behind. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my home, but I felt relieved to be going somewhere where some of my stress didn't exist.

We drove on Saturday, and went to church the next morning. I can't even tell you how amazing the service was. Mostly the worship, I wish I could remember the lyrics to tell you, but I can't. All I remember is God speaking, telling me He had provided a place of rest for me. 

Another major thing that was stressing me out He clearly addressed in one of the songs, and as I sang, I knew He wanted me to let it go, because He had control.

Another weight off of my back. I already felt like a new person. But there was more.

After that, I believe it was Sunday night, we were having dinner, and there was a little picture frame with a bible verse on it.

He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. (Psalms 18:19)

Again, He brought me into this place to be a sanctuary for me, a place of rest. I might add, the house I'm living in is HUGE. He definitely brought me forth into a large place. :D

A few times, I have gotten discouraged during dance class, or stressed about something, and it's like I can almost hear Him saying, "Are you going to trust Me?"

I feel like He's given me one task. Trust.

It's very humbling, because I want to claim to be such a great Christian that I don't need two months to JUST trust, but it's what God has given me, and I think He knows what I need best.

That's really all I can say without repeating myself, but it really doesn't do justice to the peace I'm feeling.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)