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Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts

Thursday, May 14, 2020

A Love Story, Part 3: Home

Click for Part 2: Peor


“Khriein.”

He was putting the finishing touches on the Arca, but he knew that voice; he had been waiting for this moment.

“Anthropy?” He dropped his tools and came out from behind the boat; she stood in the doorway, crying. Tears were falling on his own cheeks as he wiped hers away, and they fell faster when he realized her face was bruised. He didn’t know how long the bruises had been there; she hadn’t let him this close to her since the Ophidia.

“I’m sorry Khriein,” she sobbed, “I should’ve trusted you.”

He brought her into the house and asked his boss’s wife to take care of her. “Give her everything she needs,” he instructed, “I’ll pay whatever it costs.” She gave her some clean clothes and showed her to the bath, with the promise of a hot supper to await when she finished. 

They talked through everything that had happened since their engagement; the final part was when Ruhamah showed up at the barn.

She had told Anthropy of her discovery that her brother was really the who had sold her, not their father. He had gone along as though he had been captured too, just to keep up the lie. His plan was to leave before they ever got to the farm, but since he couldn’t convince Vates (the owner of the farm) to let him take Anthropy along, he waited til the only masters on guard were ones he could bribe. "Now," she told her remorsefully, "He is seeing another woman." 

Ruhamah left after her report, pleading with Anthropy to escape with her, but she insisted on confronting him. He was intoxicated when he came back to the barn, as was often the case.

She asked him about it and he laughed.

She asked again and he beat her.

He had run out of steam and she had run from the barn as fast as her legs would take her.

The Arca set sail with two passengers the next morning.

*** 

Home. 

It felt like forever since Anthropy last saw it, but there it sat, just the same. Khriein held her hand just as he had many times on the same path, though so much had changed. He left her in the care of her grateful parents that night, promising to return in the morning. The coming days were full of happy tears and reacquainting.

One-night Anthropy dreamed that someone was calling her name. She awoke, only to realize the voice was still there, calling. Just outside her window stood Peor. 

“Ann!” He called. 

She rushed to the window and whispered, “What are you doing here?” “I need to talk to you!” He begged, “Please open the window and let me in.”
Her better judgment pleaded with her to tell him to get lost, but her hands found the latch and undid it. Before she knew it, he was climbing in. He reached for her hands but she pulled away. “I’m sorry,” he said, the pain in his voice was audible. “I made a mistake, I should never have let you go.”
“Why are you here?” Her voice trembled. 
“I needed to see you. I have been wretched ever since you left.”
“You need to go,” Anthropy said, glancing behind her nervously. She let him out and went back to bed; the duration of her night was spent restlessly tossing.

Peor didn’t stay away, he made it a nightly routine to show up at her window and call; often she didn’t sleep until he had come and gone.

She decided not to trouble Khriein about it, but he could tell that something was troubling her. “Are you okay?” He would ask, and she would nod, smiling. 

One night, after Peor had climbed in the window to escape the rain and was dripping all over her wood floor, he looked beyond her just long enough to make eye-contact with Khriein, who stood in the hallway just outside her room. He had come to retrieve a tool lent to Anthropy’s father, and he stared at Peor with calm disgust. Peor looked down at her smiling, pulling her closer. They whispered softly and Anthropy giggled. Looking up again, Khriein was gone.

“Ann, I have something to tell you.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m going back to the farm.”

She pulled away, concern written all over her face. “Why?”

“Justice.” His eyes were hard with resentment as he said this; a sentiment she well understood, though Khriein had encouraged her to forgive the masters. She knew Peor to be capable of giving them back what they gave.

“But Peor,” she countered her own thoughts as she quoted Khriein, “They will get what they deserve. Shouldn’t you move on?” 
He shook his head, “I can’t. They didn’t just take my freedom from me, Ann. They took you.” A tear slipped down his cheek and he explained, “The damage they did to my mind was enough to make me drown my sorrows. If they hadn’t abused me I would never have lost to the drink, and I would never have lost you.”
An image of Khriein crying for her in the workshop passed through her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. She knew if she thought about him, she would have to turn Peor away. She didn’t want to. 

“Come with me,” he said abruptly, grasping her hands. “Let’s show them that we are stronger than they are. Let’s prove together that what they did to us was unforgivable.” 


Her window was left open and her bedroom empty that night.

Part 4: Guilty

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

I'm Back!

Hi friends.

(happy sigh)

It's good to be back.

In my last post, (back in the dead of winter) I said something about how I was making life decisions and how God is good. I think now would be a good time to explain.

Since the last time I wrote a post about my life, I was invited again to join 1:11 Ministries on a Christmas tour, performing an old ballet redone, called The Christmas Chest. It was a lot of fun, we worked hard, (both at McDonalds part-time and in the studio) and turned out a really great performance.




Back in 2016, we performed a Christmas ballet called Incarnation, and after that production, I was beyond inspired. My dreams were reawakened and reimagined, I couldn't wait to keep training, so I could keep dancing for the rest of my life.

This time, I wrestled with a lot of different feelings. There was a lot going on, (it's not a simple explanation) so I'll just say that I asked myself and God a lot of questions, and by the end of December, I had decided that I felt called to take a break.

I haven't danced since December 23rd.

I don't know if I will be called back to it, I'm certainly open to that possibility. I still love dancing, it still inspires me, and I think God communicates through it in a way He doesn't through anything else. But for now, I am learning to hear from God in different ways.

At the moment, I am spending my time working at McDonalds, studying for my GED, teaching Sunday school, and trying to sit still at the feet of Jesus.

The other day I was reminded of the old hymn, "Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

That's my life motto right now.

I hope this post doesn't carry a sad undertone. I am really, really excited these days. I see God working in my life, and I couldn't ask for much more. I find GREAT comfort in the fact that God is God, and I am not.

Friend. Keep trusting in Jesus. That's about all I have to say at this point. Maybe next time I'll have something more profound to say...or maybe that's the most profound thing I've ever said.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Our Home is in the Master

I had two thoughts, totally separate from each other, which I am going to fuse together in this post, because they do that really well.

The first one I had a long time ago, which stemmed from John 15, which has a whole section in which Jesus talks about Himself as being a vine, and we are the branches. I'll just pick a couple verses to highlight, but you should really read this whole thing, cause it's worthwhile.

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (John‬ ‭15:5)

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” (John‬ ‭15:9‬)

I have always thought of the word "abide," in this passage, to mean something like "stay," or some translations even say "remain." This isn't wrong, it means both of those things, but it really struck me a while ago as I thought about it that "abide" really means to "live" somewhere. Not just to breathe and be living, but to dwell, to reside somewhere.

When God says He wants us to abide in Him, He means He wants us to make Him our home. To abide in His love is not just to stay in His love, but to stay AT HOME in His love.

Home is where you are most comfortable, it's the place you always come back to, it's the place you can fully be yourself, and it's your shelter. Your protection. Anything outside of your home is foreign but anything IN your home is safe. This is what God wants to be for us. Home.

The other thought I had just this morning came from Psalm 27.

“One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple." (Psalms‬ ‭27:4‬)

"That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."

At first I thought about being in the Lord's presence all the days of my life, ("all the days," by the way, means ALL the days. Not just when I get to heaven, but to live in His presence on earth.) But then I realized that dwelling in the house of the Lord means more than just living in His presence.

It means living in a home that He is the master of.

If I am going to live under my parent's roof, I have to follow their rules. I have to be respectful of what they want done in their house, and honour the virtues that they uphold. If I want to be a representation of the household I live in, I am not only going to obey their rules, but I am going to conform to them. I'm going to take to heart the correction and teaching they give me so that their values become my values, so that my heart looks like their heart.

This is what it means to dwell in the house of the Lord. Every Christian I come in contact with is another beloved child of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such. Every unbeliever I come in contact with, is like a guest of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such.

I am living under His authority and protection, and He gives me freedom as well as responsibility, as a Father does who trusts His daughter, I need to recognize this, and honour Him.
He is my father, my friend, and the Master and Authority of this house. He deserves my respect,my love, and my allegiance.

 I'm just going to add another verse to help tie the two concepts together.

“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (I Corinthians‬ ‭6:19‬)

Not only can we dwell in the house of the Lord, and be at home in His presence, but Jesus says "He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit..."

We live and make our  home in Him, but He also lives and makes His home in us. This is not to say that we are the master over Him since He "lives in our home," because when we surrendered to the saving power of Christ we gave Him authority in every area of our life! No, rather it is to say that He is Lord over all. Our physical realm to which He has been invited, and His spiritual realm to which we have been invited, He is Master of both.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Saying Goodbye

I'm on the road right now, driving home from dropping off my sister in Port Burwell, where she will live for two months, and then go on to Guatemala, where she will live for another two months.

In case the math was too much for you just now, that's FOUR months away from her favorite sister.

Really, I am just having a rough time realizing that she will be away from me for so long. What am I going to do??

The great thing is that God is good, and He stays with His children.

Whether or not we are in contact with each other, God, who is nearer to me than anyone else, is just as near to her.

I always feel as though there's something missing when this particular sister is gone, but I think that truth will help me through these months. 

I can trust God with her. To take care of her, to comfort her, and to just spend time with her.

This probably sounds really silly, but it does give me great comfort.

I left her a note with one of my favorite verses as we left.

The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

I'll miss you Tirzah! I hope God blesses you greatly while you're away.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

A Place of Rest

At this moment, I am sitting in a car, watching rain hit the windshield. 

Okay, so I'm staring at my iPod screen, but in between sentences, I'm watching the rain.

Guess where I'm going? Home!

In my last two posts, I told y'all about my invitation to train and tour with 1:11 Ministries for two months. Well, I was thinking maybe you'd like to know how that's going, so I'm going to write about it.

We just finished week 1. I'm on the road right now, heading home for my sister's bridal shower, but we'll be making the trip back Monday morning, in time for my first class at 10:30 am.

This first week has been awesome. Every day I take two ballet technique classes, and a choreography class. We've been working on a different dance each day, so it's a lot to cram into my head, but it's been really good.

I'm not going to write a super long post, for your sakes, although I have a ton I could write about. The highlight of this week was definitely at the beginning, when God showed me something amazing.

Man, I'm trying to write short, but everything has backstory! Okay, so the synopsis of what you need to know, is that for a really long time now, I have been struggling hard. Spiritually, emotionally, not having a good time. I've been trying to cling to truth, and seek God in it all, but it's just been so blatantly obvious how bad I am at that.

Anyway, it kind of reached a peak recently, where I just felt like I was about to reach the end of my rope, and I needed...something. I honestly had no idea what I needed. Rest? Revival? Breakthrough? I didn't know anymore. I'm so glad Jesus did. :)

This trip, as much as it was like a dream come true, felt like another thing added to the burden I was carrying. I could barely even get excited about it, I just got stressed out.

I realized something on the road to my new house though, I was leaving a lot of things that were burdening me behind. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my home, but I felt relieved to be going somewhere where some of my stress didn't exist.

We drove on Saturday, and went to church the next morning. I can't even tell you how amazing the service was. Mostly the worship, I wish I could remember the lyrics to tell you, but I can't. All I remember is God speaking, telling me He had provided a place of rest for me. 

Another major thing that was stressing me out He clearly addressed in one of the songs, and as I sang, I knew He wanted me to let it go, because He had control.

Another weight off of my back. I already felt like a new person. But there was more.

After that, I believe it was Sunday night, we were having dinner, and there was a little picture frame with a bible verse on it.

He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. (Psalms 18:19)

Again, He brought me into this place to be a sanctuary for me, a place of rest. I might add, the house I'm living in is HUGE. He definitely brought me forth into a large place. :D

A few times, I have gotten discouraged during dance class, or stressed about something, and it's like I can almost hear Him saying, "Are you going to trust Me?"

I feel like He's given me one task. Trust.

It's very humbling, because I want to claim to be such a great Christian that I don't need two months to JUST trust, but it's what God has given me, and I think He knows what I need best.

That's really all I can say without repeating myself, but it really doesn't do justice to the peace I'm feeling.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)