Thank the Lord for analogies! I think so much in allegory, that if God didn't speak in analogies I don't think I would be able to understand most of what He says. That said, I want to share with you an analogy I thought about this morning.
I love ballet, but ballet is hard work. Being able to dance for me, means at least two hours, (if I don't have more time to devote than that) every day, six days a week, strengthening and stretching muscles, and even training myself to breathe differently.
Sometimes I don't like it very much. Recently I told my teacher about this subconscious trick I had taught myself, where every time I finished an excercise, I told myself, "Oh sweet, I get a little break!" When I got a water break, when it was time to stretch, when I had a moment to listen to correction, all of these came as exciting things because they were all "little breaks."
My teacher, a little amused and very confused asked, "If you get through the entire class by telling yourself that you are having a break...why do you even put yourself through it?"
It did seem a little odd, when I thought about it that way. The truth though, was that I love ballet. Sometimes I go through periods of time when I don't like it very much, but I know that these times pass. When I don't feel like exerting myself, it is discipline, as a result of passion, that keeps me working at it, and when I come to remember why I loved it, I am better able to do it because I kept going in spite of myself.
To jump topics just for a minute, the weather here in southern Ontario has been pretty awful since yesterday, and this morning our church service was actually cancelled.
I slept in, had a nice relaxed morning, but then I was thinking about what to do with my day, and the idea that I could just spend it with Jesus wouldn't leave my mind.
The problem was... Spending the day with Jesus is awesome, but it does take work. It takes discipline. Because it means reading the bible and actively thinking about what you've read. It means praying, even if you don't feel like He is listening, or if you can't keep your attention focused. It means when you feel like you should move onto something else because you've been "spending time with Jesus," for a while already, not moving on. It means staying. "Abiding in the Vine," if you will, even when you feel like you're being pulled off of it.
I just didn't know if I was ready for that kind of work.
I'm just going to take a moment to say, I am so glad I don't have a reputation to uphold! Sometimes I don't want to be honest about the things that I think because I look like a bad Christian, but isn't it a relief that we are all bad Christians? That the status "Christian," actually is NOT dependant on us, but 100% dependant on God? I don't have to be fake with Jesus, because for my failures He was willing to die, which means I don't have to be fake with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Anyway, so as I struggled with that this morning, my sister came downstairs with her laptop, ready to watch the livestream of our church service, which the pastor and his family did from their living room.
Thank the Lord also for sisters! Here's the thing. (I know I'm all over the place today, forgive me) God did such a good job in creating community. He really knew what He meant when He said it was not good for Adam to be alone, it is not good for any of us to be alone, as we find out very quickly when we are.
Left to my own devices this morning, I probably would be watching Youtube videos and/or sleeping right now, but I was not. Just the sheer accountability of having my sister there, willing to enter into the spirit of worship and submission to God's authority with me, made me enter in as well.
I wrestled a little bit more with thoughts of what to spend time on after the video, and found myself saying, "I don't feel like working at it, I don't feel like a good disciple, I don't feel..."
And suddenly I remembered that when I don't feel like dancing, I go to the barre and I push through. When I am having an off day and I feel like I've lost progress, I push through. Sometimes I give myself some grace, I recognize that it's an off day, but I also recognize that effort must be put in if off days are going to produce better days.
It's the same principle in my spiritual life. It's an off day. That doesn't mean I don't have to work. The work may not seem to produce anything today, but it certainly won't produce anything tomorrow if I don't do it.
If you're in a similar boat today then I hope you join me as I plan to read, I plan to pray, and I plan to accept without reservation the grace that God gives me for the struggle.
