An Analogy on a Sunday Morning

Thank the Lord for analogies! I think so much in allegory, that if God didn't speak in analogies I don't think I would be able to understand most of what He says. That said, I want to share with you an analogy I thought about this morning.

I love ballet, but ballet is hard work. Being able to dance for me, means at least two hours, (if I don't have more time to devote than that) every day, six days a week, strengthening and stretching muscles, and even training myself to breathe differently.

Sometimes I don't like it very much. Recently I told my teacher about this subconscious trick I had taught myself, where every time I finished an excercise, I told myself, "Oh sweet, I get a little break!" When I got a water break, when it was time to stretch, when I had a moment to listen to correction, all of these came as exciting things because they were all "little breaks."

My teacher, a little amused and very confused asked, "If you get through the entire class by telling yourself that you are having a break...why do you even put yourself through it?"

It did seem a little odd, when I thought about it that way. The truth though, was that I love ballet. Sometimes I go through periods of time when I don't like it very much, but I know that these times pass. When I don't feel like exerting myself, it is discipline, as a result of passion, that keeps me working at it, and when I come to remember why I loved it, I am better able to do it because I kept going in spite of myself.

To jump topics just for a minute, the weather here in southern Ontario has been pretty awful since yesterday, and this morning our church service was actually cancelled.

I slept in, had a nice relaxed morning, but then I was thinking about what to do with my day, and the idea that I could just spend it with Jesus wouldn't leave my mind.

The problem was... Spending the day with Jesus is awesome, but it does take work. It takes discipline. Because it means reading the bible and actively thinking about what you've read. It means praying, even if you don't feel like He is listening, or if you can't keep your attention focused. It means when you feel like you should move onto something else because you've been "spending time with Jesus," for a while already, not moving on. It means staying. "Abiding in the Vine," if you will, even when you feel like you're being pulled off of it.

I just didn't know if I was ready for that kind of work.

I'm just going to take a moment to say, I am so glad I don't have a reputation to uphold! Sometimes I don't want to be honest about the things that I think because I look like a bad Christian, but isn't it a relief that we are all bad Christians? That the status "Christian," actually is NOT dependant on us, but 100% dependant on God? I don't have to be fake with Jesus, because for my failures He was willing to die, which means I don't have to be fake with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Anyway, so as I struggled with that this morning, my sister came downstairs with her laptop, ready to watch the livestream of our church service, which the pastor and his family did from their living room.

Thank the Lord also for sisters! Here's the thing. (I know I'm all over the place today, forgive me) God did such a good job in creating community. He really knew what He meant when He said it was not good for Adam to be alone, it is not good for any of us to be alone, as we find out very quickly when we are.

Left to my own devices this morning, I probably would be watching Youtube videos and/or sleeping right now, but I was not. Just the sheer accountability of having my sister there, willing to enter into the spirit of worship and submission to God's authority with me, made me enter in as well.

I wrestled a little bit more with thoughts of what to spend time on after the video, and found myself saying, "I don't feel like working at it, I don't feel like a good disciple, I don't feel..."

And suddenly I remembered that when I don't feel like dancing, I go to the barre and I push through. When I am having an off day and I feel like I've lost progress, I push through. Sometimes I give myself some grace, I recognize that it's an off day, but I also recognize that effort must be put in if off days are going to produce better days.

It's the same principle in my spiritual life. It's an off day. That doesn't mean I don't have to work. The work may not seem to produce anything today, but it certainly won't produce anything tomorrow if I don't do it.

If you're in a similar boat today then I hope you join me as I plan to read, I plan to pray, and I plan to accept without reservation the grace that God gives me for the struggle.

Day 28: Learning About Faith

Hello friends!

I haven't written in a long time, but I wanted to tell you about a new way I've been learning about faith.

A few months ago I was listening for God to speak to me, and I felt like He showed me something that I hadn't really realized about myself before.

I have been praying for God to make me holy, to "bring to completion the work He started in me," and strengthen my faith and my love for Him. As much as I've been praying this, I realized that day that I didn't actually believe He would. I don't know why, I certainly believed Him capable of it, but for some reason or another, as much as I longed to grow in righteousness, I never expected myself to move beyond where I am right now.

That was the first piece of faith that He showed me I thought I understood, but really didn't.

The second piece came really recently, after I experienced two setbacks in my dance training.

First I had a stretching restriction. I don't know if it was an injury, so I'll call it a restriction, but I could stretch in certain ways for a long time, setting back my progress substantially. Second, I injured my back, in the middle of a challenge I had set for myself, called "28 Days of Choreography."

I pushed through the pain most of the time, I didn't believe it to be a serious injury, but near the end of this month it became apparent that it was a bigger deal than I thought, and I really shouldn't keep dancing.

In my last three days of the challenge, I had to stop dancing. That was so disappointing.

Pausing for a moment here, I have to explain what else I was learning at the same time, and I'll get back to how those fit together.

I was listening to a sermon recently, when something that was said reminded me that underneath my desire to dance, is a desire to serve and glorify God. He is the reason I dance, and the reason I train. But recently I had gotten so caught up in trying to train and become a better dancer faster, that I had been sacrificing time spent with Him, and He used that moment to let me know that was not okay with Him.

My first reaction was, "Okay Lord, I need to spend more time with you, I'll just get up earlier."

His response was, (not in these exact words) "No you won't. What if you sleep in and you only have time for one, Me or dance?"

I inwardly groaned, this is a problem I come across sometimes. "The thing is," I argued back, "I am losing time because I'm getting older. I can spend time with You any time."

Just then He brought back to my memory something I had written in my journal a few years ago, that who I am today shapes who I am tomorrow. My dream is to be a dancer, but I want to be a mentor and a dancer at the same time. I realized in that moment that every time I sacrifice my "spiritual training" for physical training, I am shaping myself to be a strong dancer and weak disciple in the future.

I had to ask the question, which would I rather be, a strong dancer and weak Christian, or a weak dancer and strong Christian?

Before I could even argue, God answered my next objection, with, "You know I can do miracles. 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added unto you."

He was asking me to put practical faith into action. To, if it came down to it, sacrifice what I feel like I can't in order to spend time with Him.

The next thing in this learning process was a few verses I decided to memorize, Hebrews 12:1-4.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”

The first day since that realization, I was already battling temptation to put off quiet time with the Lord til "later," and the one line came to mind, "Let us lay aside every weight."

"Weight," over the past few days, has come to mean a great many things to me, and it's amazing how many weights need to daily be laid aside, especially, as the verse points out, since I am surrounded by witnesses every day. God not only calls me to surrender my life, but to be an example to everyone else who looks on.

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” I Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ 

When I was told I couldn't dance until we figured out what was wrong with my back, I had to bring it back to Jesus, "Why do I keep getting injured, Lord?"

As I mentioned earlier, this isn't the first injury I've had which kept me from dancing, but I've never even had one FROM dancing, they're all just lame injuries from simple things. Is there a reason? Is God trying to teach me something? Is it just coincidence?

I always want answers on a broad scale. I know that God works through my whole life, so I want Him to show me some grand pattern He's been working on through my life, and how that is laying the ground work for my future. But often He just shows me one thing at a time, just as much as I need and not more.

"Lay aside every weight."
"Seek first the kingdom."
"Set an example."

So...I don't know how long I won't be dancing, hopefully not too long, but this is time I think God wants me to intentionally invest in relationship with Him. And if God doesn't consider it wasted time, neither should I.



As long as my back heals in time, I am still planning to go to Ballet Magnificat's Summer Dance Intensive in Mississippi this summer, so if you would like to support me, it would be SO much appreciated! My GoFundMe link is HERE.