It's Not About Me

I sometimes think about the end of my life. I am sure all of us do, it is something inevitable to happen, unless of course Jesus were to return sooner.

But that thought used to depress me. Not just to think about the end of my life, but the near end of it. My grandfather, who is a wonderful man, has alzheimer's. I love him a lot, and it is hard sometimes to give him a hug and see on his face that he is struggling to remember who I am.

If I were to develop alzheimer's as I get older, I don't want to go through that pain. I don't want to go through the pain of losing my own parents. The future, as it holds so much end of life, used to scare me a lot.

Not only that but, this is something not everyone will be able to relate to I'm sure, I'm a little weird. But I used to not want to grow older simply because what if I were to get married, and have children, they would begin the prime of their life, and I would have to face the end of mine slowly closing in on me.

I say "used to," because seven months ago, my twin nieces were born.

After they were born, I thought about them a lot, about how they will get older and play together, they'll play on our swingset, and make mud pies in the yard, they'll learn things that I learned when I was younger, and they will have a lot of fun. As they get even older, they will have dreams and aspirations, they'll grow to be teeneagers and start to have bigger responsibilities, the list of things that they will do goes on and on.

Through thinking about them, and then about my own kids if I ever have them, God began to show me that my life really is not about me.

It isn't about others either, since we all will pass away at some time. We may seem to be the centre of our life but we really are not, we can't even control it.

My life, truly, is all about God.

This is so freeing to realize, and I continue to realize it more and more each day. I am relieved of the burden of having a life be all about me, and I am given the freedom to live for someone greater, to be a part of something greater.

If all of our lives were about us, we'd go around doing our thing for however many years we have, and the end of it would truly be a depressing thing.

But since our lives are about Jesus, when we die we can know that it is not the end. His plan will continue to go on, helped by other people who realize that their lives are not about them, and we get to have the satisfation of knowing that we are done our part.

I Can Take A Hint

Hello All!

This is another in-the-meantime post, because I STILL haven't gotten my big one together yet.

Today, I thought I would share with you a neat story that happened recently.

A little while ago, I decided to close my blog.

I wrote up a Farewell blog post, and decided that I would end it with a bang, so I made plans for a really awesome post about God.

I'll let you read a piece of my Farewell which gives you the reason for folding.

"I have received lots of encouragement from my family and friends, but I always felt that I needed to have a vision, a purpose for why I was writing. But I didn't have anything.

In short, I don't feel like I am "called" to be writing this blog, and so I'd rather not. I have thoroughly enjoyed updating it and am very thankful to all of my encouragers, and if God shows me that I should pick it up again, I will, but for now, I am putting it to rest.

It will still be here for you all to read if you feel like going back over my posts, but I will not be updating.

SO. I thought, as a farewell post, I should write something awesome! And what is more awesome than God Himself?

The following  post is a small, quick picture of my Savior. I know I won't be able to do Him justice, but I hope it is a cool snapshot.

So this is it for this post, my next one will be the OFFICIAL farewell, and much less gloomy than this one, I promise. ;)

Until then!

~Keturah"

But my plans got interrupted pretty quickly.

The same day that I officially decided to close it, I received a Facebook message from someone encouraging me, and telling me that they love Counting Blessings. That gave me a little remorseful feeling, but I had known that people would be disappointed, so I wasn't discouraged.

Only a few hours later we went to a meal at our church, a man whom I know came by to tell me that some people that he had read my blog to were very excited about my writing.

I thought, Okay...It's fine. They can get over it. I don't have a reason for writing, so I am still going to close it.

The next day I found a post that I had written a while ago and never published, so I posted it, and someone commented to tell me that they love my blog.

Seriously, it was like everyone was trying to get me to keep it, even though I had not told a soul my plans.

The next day I got ANOTHER Facebook message, again, encouraging me, telling me to keep writing.

By that time I was seriously doubting my own judgement. The next day, I finally consulted my dad.

"Should I keep posting on my blog?" I asked.

"Why is that even a question?" He said.

I explained the situation, (excluding all of the encouraging people) and he told me why he thought I should keep it.

By the end of it, I basically said, "You know what, I can take a hint."

It was too much, and too direct, to ignore.

I have decided that I will keep writing, without a vision or a mission statement, because even though I don't have a purpose for Counting Blessings, obviously God does.

So that's it! This is not my second last post friends, I will probably have many more to come. :)

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9)

INCOMING

Hello y'all!

I know it has been a very long time since I last posted, and I know I say that all the time, but this is a NEW good excuse! :D

Not that all of my excuses are good...but this one is.

Anyway, back on track, the reason I have not posted for a while is because I am gearing up for what I hope will be an AMAZING post.

I won't reveal too much about it, except that it will be awesome, it involves input from a lot of other people, and won't be coming for a while yet.

I may or may not post more INCOMING posts in the meantimes, just to keep you entertained.

We'll see.

Anyway, have a lovely day, and remember, "God made you special, and He loves you very much!"

Holy and Empowered

Just a quick note before I begin, I mentioned in my last post that I am gearing up for a big one. I still am, and this is not it. This is something I wrote a little while ago and forgot about, so I am going to post this in the meantime as well. Hope you enjoy it. :)

Give unto the Lord, O you mighty ones, Give unto the Lord glory and strength. Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name; Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. (Psalm 29:1-2)

This is a pretty easy part to skip over if you are reading through quickly. For me anyway.

It's the kind of verse that you see over and over again in the Psalms, with words like the Lord, glory, holiness, worship, beauty... You get the general idea of God being holy and deserving of your worship, and you should worship Him.

Okay, next part.

But if you took a moment to look closely at those words, to read them for all of what they mean, you would find much more.

Let's take it little by little.

Give unto the Lord, O you mighty ones.

Okay, ignoring the "Give unto the Lord," for a second, who are the mighty ones?

Without verbalizing the thought in my head, I had told myself, I am not a mighty one. He is talking about someone else.

But really, who else could he be talking about?

It is the bible. If you have ever read the bible, you should know that he would not be calling people mighty because of how physically strong or powerful they are. So, since that outrules physical might, who are the ones who are spiritually mighty?

The answer to this of course is God's soldiers. The "More than Conquerors," the ones who have been given the power of the Holy Spirit and the armor of God...

Us.

Me, my fellow Christians.

We are the mighty ones.

Give unto the Lord glory and strength.

This is where we pick up our "Give unto the Lord," that we had put aside a moment ago.

How do you do that??

I know how you can give God money, praise, even glory, but...strength?

After giving that one some thought, I decided that it must mean that you give Him strength in the same way that you "Give Him your best."

He gives us things to do, He gives us a life to live and a battle to fight, in which we are More than Conquerors and Mighty Ones.

In all of this He gives us strength which we can use, or not. In using the strength He has given us to bring Him glory, we are giving Him strength and glory.

Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name;

This only emphasizes how much more we ought to give Him!

Look at your life, are you living it in the strength that He has given you to live it? I am not. But He is so worthy of it! He is worthy of every second we have and every ounce of strength we have, the glory due His name is IMMENSE.

Read on, through the chapter. It goes on about how glorious He is, and if you realize that the chapter does not capture a smidgen of who He is... You will realize that He is so worthy of glory.

Worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Whose holiness is this?

If you just read the these verses like I mentioned at the beginning, you would automatically think, "God's holiness, of course."

But it has just talked about giving God more, giving Him all we have because we are mighty in Him. We are set apart in Him. We are holy.

We are holy and empowered.

I am going to try to put this next part into words, because it is the best part of my whole study today, but I don't know how good of a job I will do.

What these two verses said to me today, as you may have picked up, were that there is more empowerment given to me than I am using to bring glory to God.

The last line closes it with a perfect wrap up.

The holiness that we have is beautiful, because it is light, and love, and glory and STRENGTH.

Don't just live your life without using the strength God has given to you, or when you worship, you will worship with the mindset of weakness.

But if you live in the fulness of the empowerment you have been given, your worship will be in the BEAUTY of holiness.

Does the Law Have a Purpose Anymore?

Now that we are under grace, does the law still have purpose?

Confusion has always been my reaction to this question.

"YES!" I would respond, in light of verses like Matthew 5:17,

“Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill."

But when it came to verses like Hebrews 10:9,

then He said, “Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God.” He takes away the first that He may establish the second.

He TAKES AWAY the first. Doesn't that sound like it is done with?

How then did He not destroy the law?

Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. (Galatians 3:24)

There. It's done. The law's purpose was to bring us to Christ, so now that we are under grace, the law is done.

Isn't it?

Of course, I understand that the law still has purpose in the lives of the unbelievers. They still need to be shown their sin, their need for a savior, so the law still is needed. But for the believer, for the one who has already been saved, who has already repented of their sin and are now under grace...what is the law for?

What shall we say then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! On the contrary, I would not have known sin except through the law. For I would not have known covetousness unless the law had said, “You shall not covet.” (Romans 7:7)

I used to just believe that the law still had purpose, because it says so in Matthew 5:17, without fully wrapping my head around it.

But now that's changed! :D

In my personal devotions a few days ago I realized a clear way of understanding what I already had believed, a new way of seeing it that made sense in my mind.

I was reading in Psalm 19, and I particularly noticed verses 7-8,

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; (Psalms 19:7, 8)

Normally, when I read in the Psalms about "the law," I make a subconscious switch in my mind to, "things that God/Jesus has said."

This isn't a bad thing, I don't think, but I think I deprived myself of this realization by doing that.

This time, for whatever reason, I decided to read it the way it was written, as, "The law."

(Okay, side note: Bible journals are AWESOME! I have some of the greatest insights sometimes just by writing down my thoughts on a passage. It is amazing.)

It didn't click right away, but I wrote my thoughts out until I saw it, this is what I wrote.

I think as Christians, we often put so much emphasis on grace that we neglect the law. (emphasis on grace is good, don't get me wrong, but we sometimes overlook the law) The bible tells us that the law was like a tutor to bring us to Christ, but that doesn't mean we forget it. Jesus said He did not come to do away with the law, but to fulfill it. God made the law to show us who He is, how perfect and holy He is.

If we are striving to be like Him, what better place to look than the law? We shouldn't use it as a means for salvation, but it has rewards in itself. To look at these verses, you see that the law does not just condemn without grace, but with grace it frees.

That is where it clicked.

"...The law does not just condemn without grace, but with grace it frees."

The law and grace were designed to work together. In the old testament, the law was without grace, and all it was good for was to bring us to Christ, because all it could do on its own is condemn.

But when Jesus died, He opened a door for grace and the law to work together, a door where we could be saved without having to die for our own sins, and we could benefit from the law.

The law, we are told in Psalm 19, "Makes wise the simple," "Rejoices the heart," and "Enlightens the eyes." There is more still, if you read the rest of the chapter.

These things are there for us to have, because Jesus died for us, uniting grace and the law.

Help My Unbelief

Then one of the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit. And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not.” He answered him and said, “O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me.” Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth. So He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it: “Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!” Then the spirit cried out, convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead, so that many said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” So He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.” (Mark 9:17-29)

Remember this story? It has always been a difficult one for me. This one and Luke 17:5-6,

And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.

The reason I find them difficult is that I look at them and do not see myself in them. I see myself as faithless.

Honestly, I feel like I wouldn't be the one to uproot a tree and throw it in the sea, and I would not be the one to work miracles. Jesus said "If you have faith AS A MUSTARD SEED..." I understand that the concept of a mustard seed is that it starts really small and grows to be huge, but I still have always just seen this passage as a guilt trip, and told myself that my faith must be even smaller than a mustard seed.

I have been praying for greater faith for myself, I am still praying for it, this post is not a praise report of, "I prayed for greater faith, and now here I am, tossing all these trees into the sea!" I still have very small faith.

What this post is about, however, is something I have been learning about faith itself.

I have two points on this topic, number one is the mustard seed.

I was thinking about myself one day, thinking about my small amount of faith, and again, thinking that it must be smaller than a mustard seed. The problem with this way of thinking was that it pushed me into the logic that since a mustard seed would grow, my faith could not, since it was even smaller.

That made me extremely frustrated and upset. I kept relearning to trust God and not worry about it, but since my logic never changed, I was constantly brought back to the same problem.

Anyway, that particular time, a new thought struck me. Kind of out of the blue, like most of my favorite insights, maybe they were God putting thoughts in my head, I don't know.

Before I tell you what the thought was I will warn you of the fact that a lot of things mean a lot to me, or speak to me in a new way, if they are presented in sort of a visual, metaphorical way. So if this makes no sense...I apologize.

The thought was this, it doesn't matter the size of my faith, but the place. What I mean by that is that I may have a very small amount of faith, but if 100% of my faith is placed in Jesus, that is faith as a mustard seed.

That to me, was SO cool.

And relieving, I might add.

Point number 2 was this, I have often heard this description of faith, "Faith is not believing that God can-- It is knowing that He will."

This one I have had SUCH a hard time with. I would beat myself up time and time again if I didn't fully believe that God would do what I was asking of Him.

I know that God CAN do what I ask of Him, no matter how difficult. But I couldn't bring myself to pray expectantly.

I'll give you an example.

I had two friends who were friends with each other, but one day one of them told me they had had a fight and weren't talking. I was deeply upset by this, so I asked the other friend about it and tried my best to bring them back together, but neither were willing.

So I prayed about it, A LOT. I fully believed that God could bring them back to being friends again, but I also fully believed that He has a plan that is better than my own. So I continued to pray, knowing that whatever came of it would be the best thing.

I never prayed assuming that God would make them friends again, and I struggled with the feeling that it was because of my lack of faith, but the reason was truly that I doubted my own ability to see the best outcome of things.

Is this lack of faith? According to the quote, apparently it is.

This same problem in so many different situations came up again and again, making me so confused.

A relative or friend would have cancer, we would pray, but I never expected God to heal them. I would ask, knowing He can, but didn't assume.

As I said, I do have a very minuscule amount of faith. I do need to continue to pray for it. So again, this is about reflections on what faith is.

Eventually I asked God to teach me whether that quote was completely wrong or if it was my own skewed thinking.

Turns out, it was my own skewed thinking. :P

So here is what I realized! This has been so delightful to know.

There are two ways to look at a situation, a small picture and a big picture.

The small picture is the circumstance, the friends who didn't get along. The big picture is the Greater Good, if you want to call it that.

The quote is incorrect, I believe, if I see it in the small picture. It is not lack of faith to ask unsure of how God will answer.

The quote IS correct if I see it in the big picture though, if I ask knowing that God will do the right and good thing.

I don't know, to this day, why my friends are not speaking anymore. I don't know what the big picture is. God didn't say yes to my prayers, they still aren't speaking, but I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind that God heard my prayers and answered them in a way that will result in their benefit and His glory.

If this has aroused any questions or controversies in your mind, please don't hesitate to bring them up. I still have small faith and limited understanding, so new thoughts, new insights, even corrections or criticisms are welcome.

I hope you have a marvelous day!

Percy Jackson (Warning: Spoilers)

I just finished reading Percy Jackson: The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan.

For anyone who does not know what this book is, it's the first in a series about modern Greek mythology, the main character being Percy, who is the son of Poseidon and a mortal woman.

I had mixed emotions about the book. It was intriguing, funny, mostly I would say a good book. On the other hand I couldn't get past a few things about the Greek mythology, because I am a Christian and it is contradictory to what I believe.

But laying that aside, I learned a few things from reading it.

First thing's first, I noticed a distorted version of the truth portrayed. Not just in this book, but in all Greek mythology, there tends to be a male god who has a child with a mortal woman, and the son is the hero of the story. Familiar? It sounds a whole lot like Jesus, being the Son of God and Mary, and being the "hero of the story." The difference is this, the children born of the gods of Greek mythology are half god and half man, and they are born because of immorality, most of the time.

Jesus was FULLY God, and FULLY man, and He was born of a righteous, perfect God, and a virgin.

The key points are left out, but other than that the story is basically the same. Interesting how Satan created a near replica of the truth for the Greeks to believe.

Another thing I noticed was this,

Percy goes to a camp called Camp Half-Blood, where they train all of the demi-gods. When he gets there he meets a lot of kids who are hurting, they feel depressed and sort of rejected, because their god-parent doesn't seem to care about them. Percy had the same sort of feeling, and it is totally reasonable, we naturally want to have a relationship with our parents. I think if we had a parent who was a god and they really didn't care if we lived or died or if they ever got to see us, we would feel rejected too.

I don't remember if Percy says it, or how the message gets across, but there is an attitude of, "It's not unreasonable for our parents to not care about us, they are gods. They have more important things I worry about."

Percy spends a loooong time journeying before he gets to meet his father, but when he does he only gets to see him for about two minutes and then he has to leave. He leaves knowing that may be his last time ever seeing him.

I have grown up hearing Pastors say that God is a personal God. I know that. It does mean a lot to me, but I can't really grasp the full meaning because I have grown up having the emphasis on how personal He is, and not how sovereign He is.

But I realized as I read the book that God is every bit as God as these gods are, and waaaaay more. Yet He doesn't ignore His children. He wants us, He wants a relationship with us.

And the other thing is that we don't have to make a long perilous journey to talk to Him for two minutes! (and be afraid of whether He will punish us for wasting His time) We get to be with Him 24/7!

Our God is so much better than the Greek gods.