I've had three or four blog ideas go through my mind in the past couple of days, and they were all good ones too. It would be nice if I could remember them.
But anyway, since I can't, I'll just talk about something really nice that happened today, which reminded me why I love people!
A few weeks ago, I was standing at an intersection downtown, inviting people to talk with me about abortion in order to hopefully show people what it is and why it's wrong, and this older gentleman came riding along on his bike.
I asked him what he thought about abortion and handed him a pamphlet, and he stopped and smiled at me. He took the pamphlet and smiled at it, then smiled at me again, then smiled at the pamphlet again, and then back at me.
"Well clearly you don't speak English," I thought to myself, as I smiled back and let him ride away.
About half an hour later I met him again inside Tim Hortons, he recognized me so he asked, "Coffee?" "No thank you," I replied. "Why not?" "Well...umm...." I have had it firmly engrained in me that you don't accept treats from strangers since I was a small child, so I said the first excuse that came to mind. "I'm leaving soon."
It was true. I was on my way in the next five minutes.
Well today, about two weeks later, who should I run into at the same Tim Hortons but the same nice gentleman? So again he walks over and says, "How are you? Coffee?"
"No thank you," I said instinctively.
But when he asked me this time "Why not?" I had no excuse! I couldn't think of anything! I was likely going to be sitting there for a while, so I wasn't leaving, but since I had nothing to say, he offered again that he was willing to buy it for me.
"Okay..." I sheepishly agreed. He brought me over to the counter and had me order, asked if my friend wanted anything, and offered a donut or muffin or whatever my heart desired. My heart was already quite full at that moment, feeling such gratitude to this kind man, that I needed nothing more than coffee.
I still don't know what he thinks about abortion, (although it certainly seems like he supports us) or how much English he speaks, or why exactly he keeps wanting to buy me coffee, but what I do know is that he cares about me. Which is such a lovely thing in a stranger. I wonder if this is how "the least of these" felt when they met Jesus.
Monday, September 4, 2017
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Chaos and Rain, and a Simple Sweet Gift
"Hi there, what do you think about abortion?"
I've asked this question...more times than I have cared to count.
I'm going to tell you a little story about my day yesterday, which I love.
After doing GAP, (the Genocide Awareness Project, now called the Human Rights Project) twice, I became a part of a group in my own town, called Windsor Against Abortion, which does... pretty much what it sounds like.
We are out on public sidewalks every week showing the truth about abortion, and having educational conversations with anyone who will stop at our invitation.
We always run into problems. Every week. It's basically a given, I believe because the devil does NOT appreciate our work, and will try every angle to stop us from being out there. So this week we lost one of our members, spent half of our activism time searching for her, (well at least I did, the others thankfully were able to set up right away) stood in the POURING rain with our signs, and didn't have very many conversations.
It just happened to be the week that a bunch of new people came to join us.
"We look SO unprofessional," I couldn't help feeling. "They're never going to want to come back."
So in our debrief time, I made sure to mention that we will be much more organized in the future, and I felt that it was most important to thank them for coming, because this work is not easy. It's not inviting. It takes guts and courage to step out of your comfort zone and come. They need to be appreciated, and FEEL appreciated.
However, before I could even say thank you, we hear a car honking near us. We thought we knew who it was, so my younger sister runs over and talks to them through the window, I watch as a loaded tray of Tim Hortons cups are handed out the window.
She returns to tell us that it was not who we thought, it was my brother in law's sister, who we don't know very well, but she saw us and bought us all hot chocolate, without even knowing who we all were and why we were out there.
I felt, as my wet hands closed around the warmth of the cup, that God was saying, "Thank YOU for coming today."
He wanted to say thank you first, because He knows that as much as its good for the new people to be appreciated and feel that appreciation, it's the same for me. Sometimes I would really like to know that my effort is not in vain, and God sees me wandering around the streets of downtown in the rain looking for a lost team member, trying to make this thing run in order to stand up for children that so many don't care about, but He does.
If anyone who was standing there with me on the wet sidewalk today is reading this, there's a reason I wasn't the only one who got the hot chocolate. God appreciates your effort just as much.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
I've asked this question...more times than I have cared to count.
I'm going to tell you a little story about my day yesterday, which I love.
After doing GAP, (the Genocide Awareness Project, now called the Human Rights Project) twice, I became a part of a group in my own town, called Windsor Against Abortion, which does... pretty much what it sounds like.
We are out on public sidewalks every week showing the truth about abortion, and having educational conversations with anyone who will stop at our invitation.
We always run into problems. Every week. It's basically a given, I believe because the devil does NOT appreciate our work, and will try every angle to stop us from being out there. So this week we lost one of our members, spent half of our activism time searching for her, (well at least I did, the others thankfully were able to set up right away) stood in the POURING rain with our signs, and didn't have very many conversations.
It just happened to be the week that a bunch of new people came to join us.
"We look SO unprofessional," I couldn't help feeling. "They're never going to want to come back."
So in our debrief time, I made sure to mention that we will be much more organized in the future, and I felt that it was most important to thank them for coming, because this work is not easy. It's not inviting. It takes guts and courage to step out of your comfort zone and come. They need to be appreciated, and FEEL appreciated.
However, before I could even say thank you, we hear a car honking near us. We thought we knew who it was, so my younger sister runs over and talks to them through the window, I watch as a loaded tray of Tim Hortons cups are handed out the window.
She returns to tell us that it was not who we thought, it was my brother in law's sister, who we don't know very well, but she saw us and bought us all hot chocolate, without even knowing who we all were and why we were out there.
I felt, as my wet hands closed around the warmth of the cup, that God was saying, "Thank YOU for coming today."
He wanted to say thank you first, because He knows that as much as its good for the new people to be appreciated and feel that appreciation, it's the same for me. Sometimes I would really like to know that my effort is not in vain, and God sees me wandering around the streets of downtown in the rain looking for a lost team member, trying to make this thing run in order to stand up for children that so many don't care about, but He does.
If anyone who was standing there with me on the wet sidewalk today is reading this, there's a reason I wasn't the only one who got the hot chocolate. God appreciates your effort just as much.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
Friday, August 18, 2017
God Said No.
I thought I had been waiting for four months. God knew I had been waiting for nine years.
I am eighteen. I've gathered that the teen years are pretty tough for most people, so I think it shouldn't be a surprise that I just went through one of the hardest times of my life so far.
If you know me, you probably know that for about nine years, I have been working toward the goal of being a professional ballerina. My goal was never to join the American Ballet Theater or the Royal Ballet, I always wanted to use it in ministry.
However, if you know me a little bit better, you probably know that these nine years have not been easy. My body type is FAR from ideal for ballet, my brain doesn't pick things up quickly, and I started when I was nine, or sixteen....depending on what you call "starting." I would say that I really "started" when I was sixteen.
I have never doubted God's power or faithfulness, I knew that none of these things were obstacles for Him, if He wanted me to do ballet.
IF is the key word there.
I didn't know if He wanted me to, but I wanted to, so I tried, and kept trying. For years, I prayed and prayed again for direction, if He didn't want me in ballet, that's fine, I just need to know that.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalms 139:23-24)
“For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name’s sake, Lead me and guide me.” (Psalms 31:3)
I never received clear direction. At the same time though, my desire for ballet ministry never dwindled, so I kept on pursuing, HOPING God was in support.
One of the ways I prayed for direction was through a person, I thought I would be able to understand God better if He actually SPOKE to me, (however unlikely I knew that was) I was worried that if He put obstacles in my path to try to give me direction, I would take them as challenges to overcome.
“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
(Romans 8:37)
Trust me, it happened. I heard people tell me I would never make it: I ignored them. I had no source of income: I started a business, got a job, and started several fundraising campaigns. I got injured: I worked around it until it healed and then worked really carefully to restore my flexibility.
About four months ago, someone I really trust and respect showed me very lovingly what I already knew, that my body wasn't built for professional ballet, and short of a miracle, wouldn't ever become that way.
"Well, the Lord has finally spoken," I thought to myself, and resigned myself to the reality that that was the end.
We had dance camp coming up in August, so I'd do that, but that would close that area of my life forever.
Almost everyone I told this to, (because I was PRETTY upset) tried to tell me that even if I wasn't built for professional ballet, I could maybe still do it for recreation. Or in some other ministry capacity. Maybe I would become a teacher, or go into a kind of dance that is not ballet.
However... I hated these ideas, I had thought them all through before I told anyone, and I was sure that if God had placed a desire in me that He wanted to yet fulfil, He wouldn't choose to fulfil it in a way that I hated.
“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9-11)
I spent the next four months crying nearly every day, I found it so hard to enjoy life the way I am used to enjoying it.
When August came along, dance camp week was...so hard. I don't really know how to describe the kind of emotional turmoil I was going through, and it felt silly, like I shouldn't have cared that much, but I did.
At the beginning of the week, our bible teacher asked us to write down two questions for God. My first one was the number one thing on my mind, "How can I recover from this?"
I did NOT want to "heal" from my hurt, but feel like a wound reopened every time I watched ballet. I wanted to keep loving ballet, but I didn't see how I could, if I couldn't do it.
But God did not answer that question. In fact, it seemed much like He was ignoring it.
Instead, I kept hearing things in bible study, in workshops, in morning session and in my own devotions, that seemed to be saying, "This door isn't closed." It felt like God was challenging my assumption that I had to give up ballet in the first place. I say assumption, because that was how He was treating it, even though it seemed pretty set in stone to me.
Finally, I accepted the fact that He was challenging that assumption. My question changed from "How can I recover?" to "What was on Your heart when You first introduced me to ballet?"
That is when it struck me, or I suppose God spoke to me, that He had a purpose, and He still had a purpose. And if He had a purpose, then it didn't matter if I hated that idea, I needed to make sure that my attitude was one of submission. Whatever road He wanted to take me down with ballet, I need to acknowledge that that is His choice, and His right.
That moment when this all came together in my mind was one of the most freeing moments of my life.
It may seem weird that I was freed by submitting to Him even when it might mean doing something I hate the thought of, but what freed me was the realization that God WAS supporting me in ballet.
After YEARS of asking if He was and never receiving an answer, when I TRIED to quit and He said no... He said no!
I never knew God saying no could be SO fulfilling!
“There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel—that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21)
I hated those other ideas because it was my idea that I wanted to do for God, and I felt like I failed if I compromised. But if it's God's idea, He's not compromising! If it's God's idea, I don't have to worry anymore! If it's God's idea, He will provide, He will lead me, and He will not give me a bad gift, because He is a good Father.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
I actually feel more peace now than I did before this hard, hard summer hit. Because even though back then I had a goal to work towards, I never knew if God was leading it, or if it was just me doing my own thing. It's so much more peaceful knowing that the goal I am working towards is one that God set, not me.
I am eighteen. I've gathered that the teen years are pretty tough for most people, so I think it shouldn't be a surprise that I just went through one of the hardest times of my life so far.
If you know me, you probably know that for about nine years, I have been working toward the goal of being a professional ballerina. My goal was never to join the American Ballet Theater or the Royal Ballet, I always wanted to use it in ministry.
However, if you know me a little bit better, you probably know that these nine years have not been easy. My body type is FAR from ideal for ballet, my brain doesn't pick things up quickly, and I started when I was nine, or sixteen....depending on what you call "starting." I would say that I really "started" when I was sixteen.
I have never doubted God's power or faithfulness, I knew that none of these things were obstacles for Him, if He wanted me to do ballet.
IF is the key word there.
I didn't know if He wanted me to, but I wanted to, so I tried, and kept trying. For years, I prayed and prayed again for direction, if He didn't want me in ballet, that's fine, I just need to know that.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalms 139:23-24)
“For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name’s sake, Lead me and guide me.” (Psalms 31:3)
I never received clear direction. At the same time though, my desire for ballet ministry never dwindled, so I kept on pursuing, HOPING God was in support.
One of the ways I prayed for direction was through a person, I thought I would be able to understand God better if He actually SPOKE to me, (however unlikely I knew that was) I was worried that if He put obstacles in my path to try to give me direction, I would take them as challenges to overcome.
“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
(Romans 8:37)
Trust me, it happened. I heard people tell me I would never make it: I ignored them. I had no source of income: I started a business, got a job, and started several fundraising campaigns. I got injured: I worked around it until it healed and then worked really carefully to restore my flexibility.
About four months ago, someone I really trust and respect showed me very lovingly what I already knew, that my body wasn't built for professional ballet, and short of a miracle, wouldn't ever become that way.
"Well, the Lord has finally spoken," I thought to myself, and resigned myself to the reality that that was the end.
We had dance camp coming up in August, so I'd do that, but that would close that area of my life forever.
Almost everyone I told this to, (because I was PRETTY upset) tried to tell me that even if I wasn't built for professional ballet, I could maybe still do it for recreation. Or in some other ministry capacity. Maybe I would become a teacher, or go into a kind of dance that is not ballet.
However... I hated these ideas, I had thought them all through before I told anyone, and I was sure that if God had placed a desire in me that He wanted to yet fulfil, He wouldn't choose to fulfil it in a way that I hated.
“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:9-11)
I spent the next four months crying nearly every day, I found it so hard to enjoy life the way I am used to enjoying it.
When August came along, dance camp week was...so hard. I don't really know how to describe the kind of emotional turmoil I was going through, and it felt silly, like I shouldn't have cared that much, but I did.
At the beginning of the week, our bible teacher asked us to write down two questions for God. My first one was the number one thing on my mind, "How can I recover from this?"
I did NOT want to "heal" from my hurt, but feel like a wound reopened every time I watched ballet. I wanted to keep loving ballet, but I didn't see how I could, if I couldn't do it.
But God did not answer that question. In fact, it seemed much like He was ignoring it.
Instead, I kept hearing things in bible study, in workshops, in morning session and in my own devotions, that seemed to be saying, "This door isn't closed." It felt like God was challenging my assumption that I had to give up ballet in the first place. I say assumption, because that was how He was treating it, even though it seemed pretty set in stone to me.
Finally, I accepted the fact that He was challenging that assumption. My question changed from "How can I recover?" to "What was on Your heart when You first introduced me to ballet?"
That is when it struck me, or I suppose God spoke to me, that He had a purpose, and He still had a purpose. And if He had a purpose, then it didn't matter if I hated that idea, I needed to make sure that my attitude was one of submission. Whatever road He wanted to take me down with ballet, I need to acknowledge that that is His choice, and His right.
That moment when this all came together in my mind was one of the most freeing moments of my life.
It may seem weird that I was freed by submitting to Him even when it might mean doing something I hate the thought of, but what freed me was the realization that God WAS supporting me in ballet.
After YEARS of asking if He was and never receiving an answer, when I TRIED to quit and He said no... He said no!
I never knew God saying no could be SO fulfilling!
“There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the LORD’s counsel—that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21)
I hated those other ideas because it was my idea that I wanted to do for God, and I felt like I failed if I compromised. But if it's God's idea, He's not compromising! If it's God's idea, I don't have to worry anymore! If it's God's idea, He will provide, He will lead me, and He will not give me a bad gift, because He is a good Father.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
I actually feel more peace now than I did before this hard, hard summer hit. Because even though back then I had a goal to work towards, I never knew if God was leading it, or if it was just me doing my own thing. It's so much more peaceful knowing that the goal I am working towards is one that God set, not me.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Let's Talk About Callings
I've been thinking a lot about callings recently.
I hear, "God is calling me to..." "He's been called by God..." and "If God is calling you..." all the time.
But what happens when you have an idea of what God might be calling you to, so you chase it with all your might, and then suddenly He takes it away?
What happens when after He takes it away, there is nothing to replace it? Or multiple things that might replace it, but nothing FEELS like a calling?
I heard someone say once that not everyone has a "calling."
Does everyone have a calling?
Do I have a calling?
What is a calling?
Am I totally misunderstanding what a calling is anyway?
Sometimes I've heard that you need to just pick something, and God will lead you when you do. But usually I've thought that that thing will either turn out to be your calling, or God will call you in the midst of your action.
Does that always happen?
If you choose something else, have you missed your calling?
All of a sudden I realized, life is not all about one thing! We think so much about working toward a career, or building a ministry, but so often that doesn't even happen til you're at least in your twenties, and even then it doesn't materialize for everyone. Life has purpose before you've reached that!
If you die in a car accident when you're six, did you not have a calling?
If you die of cancer when you're fifty and have a career and through it people come to know the Lord, which was your calling, your career, or cancer?
So then I thought, what is THE greatest calling? The answer came pretty quick, I've always known it.
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind, and strength."
EVERYONE has a calling.
Everyone has the same calling.
No matter what I pick, or what falls through, I can fulfil my calling.
I don't know what I believe, honestly, about individual callings. I do believe that God calls some people to specific areas of ministry or career paths, but do I believe He calls EVERYONE to something specific? I don't know.
I do know that Jesus has first and foremost called me to love Him, and I like that calling best of all.
I hear, "God is calling me to..." "He's been called by God..." and "If God is calling you..." all the time.
But what happens when you have an idea of what God might be calling you to, so you chase it with all your might, and then suddenly He takes it away?
What happens when after He takes it away, there is nothing to replace it? Or multiple things that might replace it, but nothing FEELS like a calling?
I heard someone say once that not everyone has a "calling."
Does everyone have a calling?
Do I have a calling?
What is a calling?
Am I totally misunderstanding what a calling is anyway?
Sometimes I've heard that you need to just pick something, and God will lead you when you do. But usually I've thought that that thing will either turn out to be your calling, or God will call you in the midst of your action.
Does that always happen?
If you choose something else, have you missed your calling?
All of a sudden I realized, life is not all about one thing! We think so much about working toward a career, or building a ministry, but so often that doesn't even happen til you're at least in your twenties, and even then it doesn't materialize for everyone. Life has purpose before you've reached that!
If you die in a car accident when you're six, did you not have a calling?
If you die of cancer when you're fifty and have a career and through it people come to know the Lord, which was your calling, your career, or cancer?
So then I thought, what is THE greatest calling? The answer came pretty quick, I've always known it.
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, mind, and strength."
EVERYONE has a calling.
Everyone has the same calling.
No matter what I pick, or what falls through, I can fulfil my calling.
I don't know what I believe, honestly, about individual callings. I do believe that God calls some people to specific areas of ministry or career paths, but do I believe He calls EVERYONE to something specific? I don't know.
I do know that Jesus has first and foremost called me to love Him, and I like that calling best of all.
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Coming Boldly
I was at a dance camp a few years ago, where at the end of one of our dances, it was supposed to be like us finally finishing the race we're running. Our teacher and choreographer said to us, "Imagine you are entering the throne room of GOD. How would you approach Him?"
I answered her in my mind, "Timidly, humbly, slowly, probably looking at the ground cause I am unworthy to look at His face."
"You're not going to shuffle over to Him looking at the ground," she said, as though we all knew exactly what she meant. "You would run toward Him boldly!"
Run toward Him boldly. Now that is one I hadn't thought of.
I have actually mulled this over in my mind a lot since then, because I have often heard, "Enter His presence with boldness," and on the one hand I agreed, but my mind separated that and that fact that I believed I could not enter His presence boldly.
It's one thing to boldly post bible verses on Facebook, it's quite another to waltz up to God in the flesh as though you deserve it.
I realized quite a while ago now that I was wrong. My mindset that I could only approach God with fear and trembling, it was wrong. God does love me, did adopt me, and does delight in me. I have permission to love Him, to be excited to see Him.
But still, I believed my choreographer was wrong. Running toward Him boldly the way she described it seemed disrespectful. Verses like Hebrews 4:16 didn't make any sense to me.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
THAT we may obtain mercy? Like we're entering His throne room boldly and THEN receiving mercy? Whaaaat....?
A couple days ago though, I was studying Hebrews 4 with my friend, and decided to spend longer than usual on this part. Suddenly, I understood.
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)
I had to simplify the sentences in order to figure it out for myself, so I'll simplify again so you can read what I was thinking.
Because we have a great High Priest, (Jesus) let us hold fast our profession. (Holy Priesthood)
The High Priest we have understands our weaknesses because He went through the same trials and temptations that we do, even though He never sinned.
Because of this, we don't have to be ashamed of our weakness, as though He didn't know about it when He chose to make us priests, instead we may come boldly to the throne of grace, showing ourselves to be exactly who He already knew us to be, to obtain even more mercy, and grace to help in time of need.
I guess the simplified version is even longer than the original, but you get the point.
We didn't choose to become a Holy Priesthood, and God did not accept us because the facade we put on was so convincing. He CHOSE us for exactly who we are, even less perfect than we even think ourselves to be. THAT is why we may enter boldly, because nothing about our boldness comes from who we are, it ALL has to do with who He is, and the decision HE made.
I answered her in my mind, "Timidly, humbly, slowly, probably looking at the ground cause I am unworthy to look at His face."
"You're not going to shuffle over to Him looking at the ground," she said, as though we all knew exactly what she meant. "You would run toward Him boldly!"
Run toward Him boldly. Now that is one I hadn't thought of.
I have actually mulled this over in my mind a lot since then, because I have often heard, "Enter His presence with boldness," and on the one hand I agreed, but my mind separated that and that fact that I believed I could not enter His presence boldly.
It's one thing to boldly post bible verses on Facebook, it's quite another to waltz up to God in the flesh as though you deserve it.
I realized quite a while ago now that I was wrong. My mindset that I could only approach God with fear and trembling, it was wrong. God does love me, did adopt me, and does delight in me. I have permission to love Him, to be excited to see Him.
But still, I believed my choreographer was wrong. Running toward Him boldly the way she described it seemed disrespectful. Verses like Hebrews 4:16 didn't make any sense to me.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
THAT we may obtain mercy? Like we're entering His throne room boldly and THEN receiving mercy? Whaaaat....?
A couple days ago though, I was studying Hebrews 4 with my friend, and decided to spend longer than usual on this part. Suddenly, I understood.
“Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)
I had to simplify the sentences in order to figure it out for myself, so I'll simplify again so you can read what I was thinking.
Because we have a great High Priest, (Jesus) let us hold fast our profession. (Holy Priesthood)
The High Priest we have understands our weaknesses because He went through the same trials and temptations that we do, even though He never sinned.
Because of this, we don't have to be ashamed of our weakness, as though He didn't know about it when He chose to make us priests, instead we may come boldly to the throne of grace, showing ourselves to be exactly who He already knew us to be, to obtain even more mercy, and grace to help in time of need.
I guess the simplified version is even longer than the original, but you get the point.
We didn't choose to become a Holy Priesthood, and God did not accept us because the facade we put on was so convincing. He CHOSE us for exactly who we are, even less perfect than we even think ourselves to be. THAT is why we may enter boldly, because nothing about our boldness comes from who we are, it ALL has to do with who He is, and the decision HE made.
Monday, July 10, 2017
A Matter of Life and Death
Today, I experienced a lot of emotions. Mostly negative.
I was out the door this morning to set up for a funeral at my church. A little boy, 3 years old, was run over by a car a few days ago.
While we were setting up, I asked my sister's boyfriend what time it would be in the UK. It was 2:00pm, Charlie Gard's court hearing had probably just started. He and I prayed about it together, but it stayed on my heart the whole day. What happened? What was decided in that courtroom?
I left the church at 11:00, with the intent to go downtown and do "Choice" Chain, a pro-life activism campaign, but it rained. So we cancelled. Every time it gets cancelled I can't help but feel a little bit like a failure. I can only hope that no one had an abortion today because we weren't there to show them the truth.
I found out in time to make it back for the funeral, (we live minutes away from our church) and got to help with that. No matter how much I did or could have done, it wouldn't have been enough. To lose a son, a three year old... I can't imagine.
While contemplating all of the events of the day, I just felt God impress on me, "Life and death is in My hands."
Three different situations, all involving children dying, made up the backbone of my day, but in not one of those situations, did I have the power to do anything.
But God did. In every one of those situations, He was sovereign. I can trust Him.
The saying, "Leave it in God's hands," suddenly sounds different to me now. It sounds like, "Don't take it out of God's hands." Leave it. Because it was there to begin with.
God has always, and will always, be sovereign. Life and death will always be in His hands, and not one of us would be more capable to hold them than Him.
End Notes:
-Charlie Gard
If you don't know who Charlie Gard is or why he has a court hearing, he is an 11 month old boy who is critically ill, living on life support in the UK. Even though his parents have been fighting for his life, and raising amazing amounts of money for his treatment, the doctors have decided to take him off of life support, saying he should just "Die with dignity," even against the wishes of his parents. There has been a petition signed by people all over the world to provide treat,don't for him, Donald Trump and the Pope have spoken in favour of his life, so the hospital is facing opposition to their decision. If you want more information, there is always Google. :) I searched Char, and Charlie Gard was the first search option.
-Choice Chain
Would you like to join the pro life movement in Canada? It is NOT a hopeless cause! Having been on the front lines myself, I can tell you that I have been blown away by the amount of minds that have been changed, and lives that have been saved through our efforts.
If you are in Windsor, we have a local group called Windsor Against Abortion. Look us up on Facebook and send us a message, we hold training sessions semi-regularly for people who are interested.
If you are not in Windsor, there are lots of pro life groups rising up throughout Canada. Many of them have been taking a similar name, (Niagara Against Abortion, London Against Abortion, etc.) so try googling it to see if you can find one. If not, go ahead and email me at keturahthomson12@gmail.com, and I will see if I can connect you with someone in your area.
I was out the door this morning to set up for a funeral at my church. A little boy, 3 years old, was run over by a car a few days ago.
While we were setting up, I asked my sister's boyfriend what time it would be in the UK. It was 2:00pm, Charlie Gard's court hearing had probably just started. He and I prayed about it together, but it stayed on my heart the whole day. What happened? What was decided in that courtroom?
I left the church at 11:00, with the intent to go downtown and do "Choice" Chain, a pro-life activism campaign, but it rained. So we cancelled. Every time it gets cancelled I can't help but feel a little bit like a failure. I can only hope that no one had an abortion today because we weren't there to show them the truth.
I found out in time to make it back for the funeral, (we live minutes away from our church) and got to help with that. No matter how much I did or could have done, it wouldn't have been enough. To lose a son, a three year old... I can't imagine.
While contemplating all of the events of the day, I just felt God impress on me, "Life and death is in My hands."
Three different situations, all involving children dying, made up the backbone of my day, but in not one of those situations, did I have the power to do anything.
But God did. In every one of those situations, He was sovereign. I can trust Him.
The saying, "Leave it in God's hands," suddenly sounds different to me now. It sounds like, "Don't take it out of God's hands." Leave it. Because it was there to begin with.
God has always, and will always, be sovereign. Life and death will always be in His hands, and not one of us would be more capable to hold them than Him.
End Notes:
-Charlie Gard
If you don't know who Charlie Gard is or why he has a court hearing, he is an 11 month old boy who is critically ill, living on life support in the UK. Even though his parents have been fighting for his life, and raising amazing amounts of money for his treatment, the doctors have decided to take him off of life support, saying he should just "Die with dignity," even against the wishes of his parents. There has been a petition signed by people all over the world to provide treat,don't for him, Donald Trump and the Pope have spoken in favour of his life, so the hospital is facing opposition to their decision. If you want more information, there is always Google. :) I searched Char, and Charlie Gard was the first search option.
-Choice Chain
Would you like to join the pro life movement in Canada? It is NOT a hopeless cause! Having been on the front lines myself, I can tell you that I have been blown away by the amount of minds that have been changed, and lives that have been saved through our efforts.
If you are in Windsor, we have a local group called Windsor Against Abortion. Look us up on Facebook and send us a message, we hold training sessions semi-regularly for people who are interested.
If you are not in Windsor, there are lots of pro life groups rising up throughout Canada. Many of them have been taking a similar name, (Niagara Against Abortion, London Against Abortion, etc.) so try googling it to see if you can find one. If not, go ahead and email me at keturahthomson12@gmail.com, and I will see if I can connect you with someone in your area.
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Reflection of a Saint
I feel very... humbled.
Sometimes it takes a shock for me to truly see my own reflection clearly, and today I got one.
This Canada Day has been a very strange day for me. I can almost guarantee that the situation which kickstarted my day will sounds quite silly to you.
I woke up this morning at 6:00am, and decided I wanted five more minutes of sleep. I woke up again at 7:09 to my sister, phone in hand. I was supposed to start work at 7:00.
When I arrived at work, I felt AWFUL. Ashamed of myself, and kicking myself over and over for thinking that I'd wake up to another alarm 5 minutes later, when I knew I had been having trouble waking up to alarms recently.
Each person who didn't make eye contact with me or didn't talk to me was noticed by me. Surely they were doing it on purpose.
I was sent to the back, to work the back booth in drive-thru. At first I was relieved to not be around people, but soon I felt very alone with my shame. I wanted to be with people who would just work, and remind me that I was thinking too much, and that no one else was thinking about it two hours later.
As I replayed the morning in my head, I suddenly realized that I felt so awful because for the first time in a while, I was stationed in front of a mirror which showed clearly my fallibility. I am FAR from perfect, and I felt that really strongly today.
I hated the fact that my perfect attendance record had been broken, that my reputation was damaged. My sister left for a month-long trip this morning, and what I had been calling loneliness suddenly was shown to be jealousy.
I came home to an almost empty house, my sister wanted help with her little children, and I looked for an excuse not to help. I hate writing this, because I do LOVE my nieces, and I love my sister and her husband, and I want in my heart of hearts so badly to be a servant, but I wanted to be lazy. This just added to my growing list of obvious imperfections, so I did what I could to remedy that, by taking charge of my actions since my feelings were stubborn. I helped with the kids, and I am glad I did it. I was right to do it.
Yet still I feel a hole in me, like I was created with potential, and I have been living in willful ignorance of it.
While I was at work I cried out to God, and wished so hard that SOMEONE had brought a bible. No one had, so I prayed, thanking God that I have access by faith, not just through the written Word. But when I got home, what did I do? I surely didn't read my bible.
But still... God definitely loves me. After about 2:00, aside from moments that added to my list, my spirits were lifted over and over by little things people said and did to me. Not only at work, but my sister and brother in-law put on a BBQ for us, and friends came over to help, and more happened that I can't even remember right now. I feel like God blesses me the most when I can most clearly see that I don't deserve it, perhaps to teach me about grace.
Just before we ate supper, my two-year old niece said, "Tante Tuey (tante means aunt, my nickname is Tuey) is a very odd saint."
It brought to mind the many places in scripture where followers of God are called saints. Not so much the halo-adorned type of saint, but biblically, she is right. I am a very odd saint.
I have a lot of problems, today more obviously than most, but I am a saint.
“Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”
(Ephesians 2:19-22)
Now I don't mean to make it out that you can live in sin and it doesn't matter because you are a saint. Being a saint is about being in relationship, and "being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit," who is holy and without sin. Sometimes the purification process is very uncomfortable, (like today!) and that, I find, is when God chooses to comfort you by reminding you that you ARE a saint. You may not be a fully developed, perfectly sanctified saint, but God doesn't expect you to be perfectly sanctified before He has sanctified you.
Sometimes it takes a shock for me to truly see my own reflection clearly, and today I got one.
This Canada Day has been a very strange day for me. I can almost guarantee that the situation which kickstarted my day will sounds quite silly to you.
I woke up this morning at 6:00am, and decided I wanted five more minutes of sleep. I woke up again at 7:09 to my sister, phone in hand. I was supposed to start work at 7:00.
When I arrived at work, I felt AWFUL. Ashamed of myself, and kicking myself over and over for thinking that I'd wake up to another alarm 5 minutes later, when I knew I had been having trouble waking up to alarms recently.
Each person who didn't make eye contact with me or didn't talk to me was noticed by me. Surely they were doing it on purpose.
I was sent to the back, to work the back booth in drive-thru. At first I was relieved to not be around people, but soon I felt very alone with my shame. I wanted to be with people who would just work, and remind me that I was thinking too much, and that no one else was thinking about it two hours later.
As I replayed the morning in my head, I suddenly realized that I felt so awful because for the first time in a while, I was stationed in front of a mirror which showed clearly my fallibility. I am FAR from perfect, and I felt that really strongly today.
I hated the fact that my perfect attendance record had been broken, that my reputation was damaged. My sister left for a month-long trip this morning, and what I had been calling loneliness suddenly was shown to be jealousy.
I came home to an almost empty house, my sister wanted help with her little children, and I looked for an excuse not to help. I hate writing this, because I do LOVE my nieces, and I love my sister and her husband, and I want in my heart of hearts so badly to be a servant, but I wanted to be lazy. This just added to my growing list of obvious imperfections, so I did what I could to remedy that, by taking charge of my actions since my feelings were stubborn. I helped with the kids, and I am glad I did it. I was right to do it.
Yet still I feel a hole in me, like I was created with potential, and I have been living in willful ignorance of it.
While I was at work I cried out to God, and wished so hard that SOMEONE had brought a bible. No one had, so I prayed, thanking God that I have access by faith, not just through the written Word. But when I got home, what did I do? I surely didn't read my bible.
But still... God definitely loves me. After about 2:00, aside from moments that added to my list, my spirits were lifted over and over by little things people said and did to me. Not only at work, but my sister and brother in-law put on a BBQ for us, and friends came over to help, and more happened that I can't even remember right now. I feel like God blesses me the most when I can most clearly see that I don't deserve it, perhaps to teach me about grace.
Just before we ate supper, my two-year old niece said, "Tante Tuey (tante means aunt, my nickname is Tuey) is a very odd saint."
It brought to mind the many places in scripture where followers of God are called saints. Not so much the halo-adorned type of saint, but biblically, she is right. I am a very odd saint.
I have a lot of problems, today more obviously than most, but I am a saint.
“Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”
(Ephesians 2:19-22)
Now I don't mean to make it out that you can live in sin and it doesn't matter because you are a saint. Being a saint is about being in relationship, and "being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit," who is holy and without sin. Sometimes the purification process is very uncomfortable, (like today!) and that, I find, is when God chooses to comfort you by reminding you that you ARE a saint. You may not be a fully developed, perfectly sanctified saint, but God doesn't expect you to be perfectly sanctified before He has sanctified you.
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