I have four nieces and a (niece or nephew) on the way. One of the youngest of my nieces, Rosie, is 16 months old, and she is quite the adventurer.
For a while, "Papa" was the only word she could say. She would say this constantly, if she was ever afraid of lonely or bored or who knows what, she would ask for "Papa."
"Wow," my sister thought, "This girl really loves her Papa."
Recently she discovered, as Rosie held her arms out to her mother and said, "Papa!" That to her, "Papa" meant both Mama and Papa.
It should be no surprise to my consistent readers that this suggested a parable to me.
I realized that often in my life, if things get hard, if I'm feeling lonely or scared or overwhelmed or "who knows what," it isn't difficult for me to cry out to God, to my "Papa." I cry out to Him a lot, I think that because I turn to Him and His name is the first one I call that I am doing the right thing, but I think sometimes to me, "Papa" just means whatever it is that will bring relief to me.
“Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city.” (Psalms 31:21)
Just like Rosie asked for Papa, but was perfectly content when Mama came, so I cry out for God, and stop crying out as soon as relief comes.
The problem with this is it causes me to see God as someone I can call for and He'll help me when I need it, but the rest of the time I'm fine. When I am content with less than Him I never get to know Him deeper, which really is the only thing that will satisfy my longing.
Probably more than 50% of the time, Rosie didn't actually want "Papa." She wanted comfort, but to her 16 month old mind, that's what "Papa" meant.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of the time we are the exact same way. We think we want God, we call out to God, but we don't really know what it means for Him to come to us. To be Himself the answer to our prayer, not just to lend us a hand. A lot of the time, we just want comfort, but in our minds, that is what "Papa" means.
“This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;” (Matthew 15:8)
What if we really just wanted God?
What if He really answered that prayer?
Would I be content if Jesus was the ONLY thing I could lay claim to in my life?
When every comfort and every pretence is laid away, would we really be content with "Papa?"
“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” (Psalms 27:4)
It is challenging for me to think this way, because I have never known what it's like to be without everything else. Honestly, I think I'm more dependant on the comforts of my life than I realize, but I pray that God would change me, call me closer, and show me in that moment when I move a little bit closer to Him, that I haven't reached Him yet. I need to keep going.
“You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, Lord, do I seek." (Psalms 27:8)
But as you ask the question, "Would I really be content with NOTHING but Him?" (Which you should ask yourself, because it shows you how much you love Him vs how much you love what He gives you) And you realize that at the root of that question is, "Is He worth it?" Realize that when He asked the question, "Are you worth it?" His answer was yes, and He DID give up everything just to be close to you, just to know you.
“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6-8)
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Saturday, October 7, 2017
Buses and Pie
"Am I waiting for a bus that's never coming?" I sang the echo of the last line of the song I had just made up, as I watched the bus go sailing past me.
The answer to my song was "Yes. You are an idiot."
Before anyone gets alarmed at me speaking of myself in such a harsh manner, calm down! I'm just kidding! I'm not really upset with myself, nor am I questioning my own intellect. I may be questioning my ability to read bus schedules, but at the same time I may also be judging whoever wrote the bus schedule, so it all evens out.
Last week I wrote to you about how my life was pretty quiet. Well this week I am writing about "Fort Erie: The Most Adventurous Time of My Life."
I have never taken a bus before Monday, so I really didn't know what to expect, and was quite nervous, but by the end of the day, I was confident. I still didn't understand the bus schedule, (because it's basically an encrypted treasure map written in Greek) but I knew where my stops were, and what time to get on and off.
The next day my work schedule was off just a little bit. Instead of working 12:30-5, I was working 1-4. So, with my superior knowledge and experience, I sat at the bus stop the next day, and watched as my bus came around the corner, and drove on by. Another lady with me and I stood staring in disbelief, we had been waiting at the wrong stop.
Thankfully my heroic cousin was able to drive me to work, but that still left me uneasy about getting home. Shortly before the end of my shift, I asked one of my managers, (who was the primary reason I got anywhere on Monday) and she said I was right with what I had figured out to get home. So confidently I strode down the street with my coffee and my shoulder bag and waited.
When at long last the time arrived, I watched dismally as it came on the opposite side of the street, and passed me by. Well. Thanks Google.
However, I was not to be beaten! We will just pretend that my texts for help never happened, and I immediately knew the solution. I remembered that yesterday's bus had come at 5:13, and would be coming again, so I waited an hour for that one and took it home. (In reality, Google reminded me about the 5:13 bus. Thanks Google.)
So this morning I decided I would NOT be on the wrong side of the street, I remembered where it had passed me by, and this time it would pass with me on it. As I strode down the street, almost at my stop a full ten minutes before it had come yesterday, I watched it smoothly glide in and out of my view. Really?? Really?
This time my sister drove me to work, with another passenger because a sweet old lady also couldn't read Arabic, and needed to get to Walmart.
Tonight I googled my route again and I feel pretty confident about it. However, I am starting to lose confidence in my confidence. I called the Bus Line, tempted to greet the lady on the phone with, "Hi, it's me again! I still have no idea what I'm doing!" But I decided better of it, and then it turned out to be a wasted temptation anyway, because their business hours end at 5. Go figure.
So tomorrow is a new adventure! But I must say I'm not too worried about it. I have had a surprising lack of anxiety through all of this drama. If you're going to pray for me, don't pray that I would have peace or anything like that, just pray that I get to work on time and learn to read Cantonese.
Update:
I liked the way I ended that post, but I wrote it on Wednesday, so I may as well give you the update now. My bus-riding the next day was indeed successful, and since then, it has gone very well. I now have budding friendships with all of the bus drivers, and the only route I am still guessing on is on Tuesday, but I'm not worried about it. I'm 98.9% sure I know what I'm doing.
Also yes, pie was clickbait again. Hehe. But you may take it as an invitation to bring me some if you want! Maybe some Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream. :)
The answer to my song was "Yes. You are an idiot."
Before anyone gets alarmed at me speaking of myself in such a harsh manner, calm down! I'm just kidding! I'm not really upset with myself, nor am I questioning my own intellect. I may be questioning my ability to read bus schedules, but at the same time I may also be judging whoever wrote the bus schedule, so it all evens out.
Last week I wrote to you about how my life was pretty quiet. Well this week I am writing about "Fort Erie: The Most Adventurous Time of My Life."
I have never taken a bus before Monday, so I really didn't know what to expect, and was quite nervous, but by the end of the day, I was confident. I still didn't understand the bus schedule, (because it's basically an encrypted treasure map written in Greek) but I knew where my stops were, and what time to get on and off.
The next day my work schedule was off just a little bit. Instead of working 12:30-5, I was working 1-4. So, with my superior knowledge and experience, I sat at the bus stop the next day, and watched as my bus came around the corner, and drove on by. Another lady with me and I stood staring in disbelief, we had been waiting at the wrong stop.
Thankfully my heroic cousin was able to drive me to work, but that still left me uneasy about getting home. Shortly before the end of my shift, I asked one of my managers, (who was the primary reason I got anywhere on Monday) and she said I was right with what I had figured out to get home. So confidently I strode down the street with my coffee and my shoulder bag and waited.
When at long last the time arrived, I watched dismally as it came on the opposite side of the street, and passed me by. Well. Thanks Google.
However, I was not to be beaten! We will just pretend that my texts for help never happened, and I immediately knew the solution. I remembered that yesterday's bus had come at 5:13, and would be coming again, so I waited an hour for that one and took it home. (In reality, Google reminded me about the 5:13 bus. Thanks Google.)
So this morning I decided I would NOT be on the wrong side of the street, I remembered where it had passed me by, and this time it would pass with me on it. As I strode down the street, almost at my stop a full ten minutes before it had come yesterday, I watched it smoothly glide in and out of my view. Really?? Really?
This time my sister drove me to work, with another passenger because a sweet old lady also couldn't read Arabic, and needed to get to Walmart.
Tonight I googled my route again and I feel pretty confident about it. However, I am starting to lose confidence in my confidence. I called the Bus Line, tempted to greet the lady on the phone with, "Hi, it's me again! I still have no idea what I'm doing!" But I decided better of it, and then it turned out to be a wasted temptation anyway, because their business hours end at 5. Go figure.
So tomorrow is a new adventure! But I must say I'm not too worried about it. I have had a surprising lack of anxiety through all of this drama. If you're going to pray for me, don't pray that I would have peace or anything like that, just pray that I get to work on time and learn to read Cantonese.
Update:
I liked the way I ended that post, but I wrote it on Wednesday, so I may as well give you the update now. My bus-riding the next day was indeed successful, and since then, it has gone very well. I now have budding friendships with all of the bus drivers, and the only route I am still guessing on is on Tuesday, but I'm not worried about it. I'm 98.9% sure I know what I'm doing.
Also yes, pie was clickbait again. Hehe. But you may take it as an invitation to bring me some if you want! Maybe some Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream. :)
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Keturah's Visit Enters First Week
Last year, I, and my two younger sisters, moved in with my sister and my cousin who live four and a half hours away from Windsor, for three months.
Some of you may remember The Dragon Warrior and the Trunk Commandments. If you don't, don't worry about it. It was a lot of hoopla anyway.
Just over a week ago, on September 20th, I moved back in, just myself this time, and only for one month. It seemed fitting, cut the visitors down by two thirds, cut the time down by two thirds. ;)
Anyway, I just thought I'd give an update on my first week here, since I don't have anything else to write about. If anyone wants to know how things are going, you can read about it here!
The first thing I will say about it is that my pace of life dropped from like an 80 to a 10. At home I was doing school, ballet, working at McDonalds, managing and training an activism group, and church activities, all while living in a household of 9 people. (Plus my sister and brother in law and their three adorable children, so it was really more like a household of 14)
Here, I have one ballet class every other day, and school, (which takes me under an hour to do) and there are only three people in this house.
I have my own bedroom, which I've never had in my life, and pretty much the whole basement to myself, since Rachel and Carolyn's rooms are both upstairs.
Rachel commented that she thinks I must be bored to tears here, with it being so quiet and so little to do, but rest assured, I know how to entertain myself.
I've learned hip hop dances, read old classics, skyped with friends, texted siblings, cleaned, visited my cousins, and who knows what all. It's amazing how much time there is in a day when you haven't filled it with all kinds of stuff ahead of time!
I got transferred for work here, I'm starting on Monday, so that will definitely take some free time away. Yesterday I went out and bought bus tickets. I think I would be revelling in that proud fact more if I wasn't so scared of taking the bus...
But with every adventure of mine, there has to be some silly thing I latch onto, and I think this adventure will always be remembered by an enthusiastic singalong to "Seize The Day."
Yes my friends, I finally watched the Broadway version of "The Newsies." It left me inspired, bemoaning the fact that I can't quite dance like that, and with songs in my head from now til kingdom come.
But did I try to get them out of my head? Nope. Who doesn't want to have that soundtrack on replay 24/7? So of course I listened to the soundtrack until two days ago, when I went to my cousins house and watched the Disney movie "The Newsies." Then I listened to the soundtrack a little bit the next day, before going back to their house, having a really fun swim in the pool, and then watching "The Newsies," the Broadway version again.
Hehe.
Anyway, if I see you when I get home, don't be surprised if I have all of the lyrics memorized. So far I have already had several scenarios which just REQUIRED a Newsies comeback, for example: When we were in the pool, and my cousin was spraying my other cousin with a water gun, a soundtrack was inevitable, "Now those soakers are in for a soakin,' what a sad way to end a career!"
Thanks for reading!
Your friend,
Your BEST friend,
Your brother,
Crutchy
Some of you may remember The Dragon Warrior and the Trunk Commandments. If you don't, don't worry about it. It was a lot of hoopla anyway.
Just over a week ago, on September 20th, I moved back in, just myself this time, and only for one month. It seemed fitting, cut the visitors down by two thirds, cut the time down by two thirds. ;)
Anyway, I just thought I'd give an update on my first week here, since I don't have anything else to write about. If anyone wants to know how things are going, you can read about it here!
The first thing I will say about it is that my pace of life dropped from like an 80 to a 10. At home I was doing school, ballet, working at McDonalds, managing and training an activism group, and church activities, all while living in a household of 9 people. (Plus my sister and brother in law and their three adorable children, so it was really more like a household of 14)
Here, I have one ballet class every other day, and school, (which takes me under an hour to do) and there are only three people in this house.
I have my own bedroom, which I've never had in my life, and pretty much the whole basement to myself, since Rachel and Carolyn's rooms are both upstairs.
Rachel commented that she thinks I must be bored to tears here, with it being so quiet and so little to do, but rest assured, I know how to entertain myself.
I've learned hip hop dances, read old classics, skyped with friends, texted siblings, cleaned, visited my cousins, and who knows what all. It's amazing how much time there is in a day when you haven't filled it with all kinds of stuff ahead of time!
I got transferred for work here, I'm starting on Monday, so that will definitely take some free time away. Yesterday I went out and bought bus tickets. I think I would be revelling in that proud fact more if I wasn't so scared of taking the bus...
But with every adventure of mine, there has to be some silly thing I latch onto, and I think this adventure will always be remembered by an enthusiastic singalong to "Seize The Day."
Yes my friends, I finally watched the Broadway version of "The Newsies." It left me inspired, bemoaning the fact that I can't quite dance like that, and with songs in my head from now til kingdom come.
But did I try to get them out of my head? Nope. Who doesn't want to have that soundtrack on replay 24/7? So of course I listened to the soundtrack until two days ago, when I went to my cousins house and watched the Disney movie "The Newsies." Then I listened to the soundtrack a little bit the next day, before going back to their house, having a really fun swim in the pool, and then watching "The Newsies," the Broadway version again.
Hehe.
Anyway, if I see you when I get home, don't be surprised if I have all of the lyrics memorized. So far I have already had several scenarios which just REQUIRED a Newsies comeback, for example: When we were in the pool, and my cousin was spraying my other cousin with a water gun, a soundtrack was inevitable, "Now those soakers are in for a soakin,' what a sad way to end a career!"
Thanks for reading!
Your friend,
Your BEST friend,
Your brother,
Crutchy
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Our Home is in the Master
I had two thoughts, totally separate from each other, which I am going to fuse together in this post, because they do that really well.
The first one I had a long time ago, which stemmed from John 15, which has a whole section in which Jesus talks about Himself as being a vine, and we are the branches. I'll just pick a couple verses to highlight, but you should really read this whole thing, cause it's worthwhile.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” (John 15:9)
I have always thought of the word "abide," in this passage, to mean something like "stay," or some translations even say "remain." This isn't wrong, it means both of those things, but it really struck me a while ago as I thought about it that "abide" really means to "live" somewhere. Not just to breathe and be living, but to dwell, to reside somewhere.
When God says He wants us to abide in Him, He means He wants us to make Him our home. To abide in His love is not just to stay in His love, but to stay AT HOME in His love.
Home is where you are most comfortable, it's the place you always come back to, it's the place you can fully be yourself, and it's your shelter. Your protection. Anything outside of your home is foreign but anything IN your home is safe. This is what God wants to be for us. Home.
The other thought I had just this morning came from Psalm 27.
“One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple." (Psalms 27:4)
"That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."
At first I thought about being in the Lord's presence all the days of my life, ("all the days," by the way, means ALL the days. Not just when I get to heaven, but to live in His presence on earth.) But then I realized that dwelling in the house of the Lord means more than just living in His presence.
It means living in a home that He is the master of.
If I am going to live under my parent's roof, I have to follow their rules. I have to be respectful of what they want done in their house, and honour the virtues that they uphold. If I want to be a representation of the household I live in, I am not only going to obey their rules, but I am going to conform to them. I'm going to take to heart the correction and teaching they give me so that their values become my values, so that my heart looks like their heart.
This is what it means to dwell in the house of the Lord. Every Christian I come in contact with is another beloved child of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such. Every unbeliever I come in contact with, is like a guest of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such.
I am living under His authority and protection, and He gives me freedom as well as responsibility, as a Father does who trusts His daughter, I need to recognize this, and honour Him.
He is my father, my friend, and the Master and Authority of this house. He deserves my respect,my love, and my allegiance.
I'm just going to add another verse to help tie the two concepts together.
“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (I Corinthians 6:19)
Not only can we dwell in the house of the Lord, and be at home in His presence, but Jesus says "He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit..."
We live and make our home in Him, but He also lives and makes His home in us. This is not to say that we are the master over Him since He "lives in our home," because when we surrendered to the saving power of Christ we gave Him authority in every area of our life! No, rather it is to say that He is Lord over all. Our physical realm to which He has been invited, and His spiritual realm to which we have been invited, He is Master of both.
The first one I had a long time ago, which stemmed from John 15, which has a whole section in which Jesus talks about Himself as being a vine, and we are the branches. I'll just pick a couple verses to highlight, but you should really read this whole thing, cause it's worthwhile.
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” (John 15:9)
I have always thought of the word "abide," in this passage, to mean something like "stay," or some translations even say "remain." This isn't wrong, it means both of those things, but it really struck me a while ago as I thought about it that "abide" really means to "live" somewhere. Not just to breathe and be living, but to dwell, to reside somewhere.
When God says He wants us to abide in Him, He means He wants us to make Him our home. To abide in His love is not just to stay in His love, but to stay AT HOME in His love.
Home is where you are most comfortable, it's the place you always come back to, it's the place you can fully be yourself, and it's your shelter. Your protection. Anything outside of your home is foreign but anything IN your home is safe. This is what God wants to be for us. Home.
The other thought I had just this morning came from Psalm 27.
“One thing I have desired of the LORD, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in His temple." (Psalms 27:4)
"That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life."
At first I thought about being in the Lord's presence all the days of my life, ("all the days," by the way, means ALL the days. Not just when I get to heaven, but to live in His presence on earth.) But then I realized that dwelling in the house of the Lord means more than just living in His presence.
It means living in a home that He is the master of.
If I am going to live under my parent's roof, I have to follow their rules. I have to be respectful of what they want done in their house, and honour the virtues that they uphold. If I want to be a representation of the household I live in, I am not only going to obey their rules, but I am going to conform to them. I'm going to take to heart the correction and teaching they give me so that their values become my values, so that my heart looks like their heart.
This is what it means to dwell in the house of the Lord. Every Christian I come in contact with is another beloved child of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such. Every unbeliever I come in contact with, is like a guest of the Master of the house, and should be treated as such.
I am living under His authority and protection, and He gives me freedom as well as responsibility, as a Father does who trusts His daughter, I need to recognize this, and honour Him.
He is my father, my friend, and the Master and Authority of this house. He deserves my respect,my love, and my allegiance.
I'm just going to add another verse to help tie the two concepts together.
“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” (I Corinthians 6:19)
Not only can we dwell in the house of the Lord, and be at home in His presence, but Jesus says "He who abides in Me and I in him, bears much fruit..."
We live and make our home in Him, but He also lives and makes His home in us. This is not to say that we are the master over Him since He "lives in our home," because when we surrendered to the saving power of Christ we gave Him authority in every area of our life! No, rather it is to say that He is Lord over all. Our physical realm to which He has been invited, and His spiritual realm to which we have been invited, He is Master of both.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Does God Forget?
"Forgive and forget."
Agree or disagree?
For children who offend each other by taking an extra turn on the swing or playing with the other's toy, this is a simple and reasonable catch-phrase.
But for adults or children who have been seriously wounded by another person, given scars which will take years or a lifetime to recover from, are they really expected to...forget?
I have heard from various people in the church over the past few years that "Forgive and forget," is actually not biblical. For a relationship that has been damaged by someone who is likely to offend again, forgiving is necessary, but forgetting is foolish. Boundaries should be set in place, wisdom applied. You can't just pretend it never happened.
As reasonable as that all sounds though, something has always always sounded off about it to me. I haven't put my thoughts into words until now because I realize that I am young and inexperienced, and those people who have been through harder seasons than me are the ones saying this. So I feel that before I say anything on the subject, I should acknowledge that they may very well be right.
However, while my thoughts won't stop bugging me, I thought there could be no harm in penning them in an attempt to bring a new light to the discussion.
Why are we supposed to forgive?
"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew 18:35)
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)
We are to forgive because God forgives us. He showed us how to mend the most broken relationship with forgiveness, when He mended ours with Him.
How does God model forgiveness?
“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:16-17)
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalms 103:12)
When God says that He "Remembers no more," does He wish us to disregard that statement so that when we forgive we can be protected? I don't think so.
Is God all-knowing?
So when He says He "forgets"....does He really? What does it mean for God to FORGET?
I was praying about this, and this is what came to mind. Obviously God doesn't actually lose that memory. If He needed to, He could address it. The obvious conclusion would be that He remembers, but chooses not to think about it or act on it.
If that were true that would still be amazing, but I don't actually think so.
Can you think of a time when someone hurt you, and you had to actively choose not to think about that thing that they did? When that happens, that wrong thing they did is SO hard to not think about because it's at the forefront of your mind. It's A: The first thing you think about when you think about them, and B: Still in your mind somewhere bugging you even when you choose to ignore it.
When God thinks about us, sin is not the first thing He thinks of. (Which raises an interesting question, should it really be the first thing we think of when we think of our relationship to God?)
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, And her people a joy. I will rejoice in Jerusalem, And joy in My people; The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, Nor the voice of crying." (Isaiah 65:17-19)
When God talks to us, speaks through us, or just lives with us, I don't think He is constantly having to push back negative thoughts about things we did in the past. The sins He removed are not persistent in bugging Him.
When God forgives us...He says that He remembers no more. I believe with all that I am that to be holy is to be made like God, and that what He wants for us is to be made holy. It makes sense then, to me, that the goal of forgiveness would be to forgive AND forget.
Now, as I said before, I am not the wisest or most experienced when it comes to deep emotional wounds. Maybe there are situations that are impossible to resolve to the extent that you would be able to forget this way. But I think we can all agree that at least, if we are to look at God and the goal of holiness, we must conclude that His desire for us is that we would be able to love like Him, and to love like Him we must forgive like Him, and to forgive like Him...we must forget like Him.
Agree or disagree?
For children who offend each other by taking an extra turn on the swing or playing with the other's toy, this is a simple and reasonable catch-phrase.
But for adults or children who have been seriously wounded by another person, given scars which will take years or a lifetime to recover from, are they really expected to...forget?
I have heard from various people in the church over the past few years that "Forgive and forget," is actually not biblical. For a relationship that has been damaged by someone who is likely to offend again, forgiving is necessary, but forgetting is foolish. Boundaries should be set in place, wisdom applied. You can't just pretend it never happened.
As reasonable as that all sounds though, something has always always sounded off about it to me. I haven't put my thoughts into words until now because I realize that I am young and inexperienced, and those people who have been through harder seasons than me are the ones saying this. So I feel that before I say anything on the subject, I should acknowledge that they may very well be right.
However, while my thoughts won't stop bugging me, I thought there could be no harm in penning them in an attempt to bring a new light to the discussion.
Why are we supposed to forgive?
"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew 18:35)
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)
We are to forgive because God forgives us. He showed us how to mend the most broken relationship with forgiveness, when He mended ours with Him.
How does God model forgiveness?
“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:16-17)
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalms 103:12)
When God says that He "Remembers no more," does He wish us to disregard that statement so that when we forgive we can be protected? I don't think so.
Is God all-knowing?
So when He says He "forgets"....does He really? What does it mean for God to FORGET?
I was praying about this, and this is what came to mind. Obviously God doesn't actually lose that memory. If He needed to, He could address it. The obvious conclusion would be that He remembers, but chooses not to think about it or act on it.
If that were true that would still be amazing, but I don't actually think so.
Can you think of a time when someone hurt you, and you had to actively choose not to think about that thing that they did? When that happens, that wrong thing they did is SO hard to not think about because it's at the forefront of your mind. It's A: The first thing you think about when you think about them, and B: Still in your mind somewhere bugging you even when you choose to ignore it.
When God thinks about us, sin is not the first thing He thinks of. (Which raises an interesting question, should it really be the first thing we think of when we think of our relationship to God?)
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind. But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, And her people a joy. I will rejoice in Jerusalem, And joy in My people; The voice of weeping shall no longer be heard in her, Nor the voice of crying." (Isaiah 65:17-19)
When God talks to us, speaks through us, or just lives with us, I don't think He is constantly having to push back negative thoughts about things we did in the past. The sins He removed are not persistent in bugging Him.
When God forgives us...He says that He remembers no more. I believe with all that I am that to be holy is to be made like God, and that what He wants for us is to be made holy. It makes sense then, to me, that the goal of forgiveness would be to forgive AND forget.
Now, as I said before, I am not the wisest or most experienced when it comes to deep emotional wounds. Maybe there are situations that are impossible to resolve to the extent that you would be able to forget this way. But I think we can all agree that at least, if we are to look at God and the goal of holiness, we must conclude that His desire for us is that we would be able to love like Him, and to love like Him we must forgive like Him, and to forgive like Him...we must forget like Him.
Monday, September 4, 2017
A Kind Stranger
I've had three or four blog ideas go through my mind in the past couple of days, and they were all good ones too. It would be nice if I could remember them.
But anyway, since I can't, I'll just talk about something really nice that happened today, which reminded me why I love people!
A few weeks ago, I was standing at an intersection downtown, inviting people to talk with me about abortion in order to hopefully show people what it is and why it's wrong, and this older gentleman came riding along on his bike.
I asked him what he thought about abortion and handed him a pamphlet, and he stopped and smiled at me. He took the pamphlet and smiled at it, then smiled at me again, then smiled at the pamphlet again, and then back at me.
"Well clearly you don't speak English," I thought to myself, as I smiled back and let him ride away.
About half an hour later I met him again inside Tim Hortons, he recognized me so he asked, "Coffee?" "No thank you," I replied. "Why not?" "Well...umm...." I have had it firmly engrained in me that you don't accept treats from strangers since I was a small child, so I said the first excuse that came to mind. "I'm leaving soon."
It was true. I was on my way in the next five minutes.
Well today, about two weeks later, who should I run into at the same Tim Hortons but the same nice gentleman? So again he walks over and says, "How are you? Coffee?"
"No thank you," I said instinctively.
But when he asked me this time "Why not?" I had no excuse! I couldn't think of anything! I was likely going to be sitting there for a while, so I wasn't leaving, but since I had nothing to say, he offered again that he was willing to buy it for me.
"Okay..." I sheepishly agreed. He brought me over to the counter and had me order, asked if my friend wanted anything, and offered a donut or muffin or whatever my heart desired. My heart was already quite full at that moment, feeling such gratitude to this kind man, that I needed nothing more than coffee.
I still don't know what he thinks about abortion, (although it certainly seems like he supports us) or how much English he speaks, or why exactly he keeps wanting to buy me coffee, but what I do know is that he cares about me. Which is such a lovely thing in a stranger. I wonder if this is how "the least of these" felt when they met Jesus.
But anyway, since I can't, I'll just talk about something really nice that happened today, which reminded me why I love people!
A few weeks ago, I was standing at an intersection downtown, inviting people to talk with me about abortion in order to hopefully show people what it is and why it's wrong, and this older gentleman came riding along on his bike.
I asked him what he thought about abortion and handed him a pamphlet, and he stopped and smiled at me. He took the pamphlet and smiled at it, then smiled at me again, then smiled at the pamphlet again, and then back at me.
"Well clearly you don't speak English," I thought to myself, as I smiled back and let him ride away.
About half an hour later I met him again inside Tim Hortons, he recognized me so he asked, "Coffee?" "No thank you," I replied. "Why not?" "Well...umm...." I have had it firmly engrained in me that you don't accept treats from strangers since I was a small child, so I said the first excuse that came to mind. "I'm leaving soon."
It was true. I was on my way in the next five minutes.
Well today, about two weeks later, who should I run into at the same Tim Hortons but the same nice gentleman? So again he walks over and says, "How are you? Coffee?"
"No thank you," I said instinctively.
But when he asked me this time "Why not?" I had no excuse! I couldn't think of anything! I was likely going to be sitting there for a while, so I wasn't leaving, but since I had nothing to say, he offered again that he was willing to buy it for me.
"Okay..." I sheepishly agreed. He brought me over to the counter and had me order, asked if my friend wanted anything, and offered a donut or muffin or whatever my heart desired. My heart was already quite full at that moment, feeling such gratitude to this kind man, that I needed nothing more than coffee.
I still don't know what he thinks about abortion, (although it certainly seems like he supports us) or how much English he speaks, or why exactly he keeps wanting to buy me coffee, but what I do know is that he cares about me. Which is such a lovely thing in a stranger. I wonder if this is how "the least of these" felt when they met Jesus.
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Chaos and Rain, and a Simple Sweet Gift
"Hi there, what do you think about abortion?"
I've asked this question...more times than I have cared to count.
I'm going to tell you a little story about my day yesterday, which I love.
After doing GAP, (the Genocide Awareness Project, now called the Human Rights Project) twice, I became a part of a group in my own town, called Windsor Against Abortion, which does... pretty much what it sounds like.
We are out on public sidewalks every week showing the truth about abortion, and having educational conversations with anyone who will stop at our invitation.
We always run into problems. Every week. It's basically a given, I believe because the devil does NOT appreciate our work, and will try every angle to stop us from being out there. So this week we lost one of our members, spent half of our activism time searching for her, (well at least I did, the others thankfully were able to set up right away) stood in the POURING rain with our signs, and didn't have very many conversations.
It just happened to be the week that a bunch of new people came to join us.
"We look SO unprofessional," I couldn't help feeling. "They're never going to want to come back."
So in our debrief time, I made sure to mention that we will be much more organized in the future, and I felt that it was most important to thank them for coming, because this work is not easy. It's not inviting. It takes guts and courage to step out of your comfort zone and come. They need to be appreciated, and FEEL appreciated.
However, before I could even say thank you, we hear a car honking near us. We thought we knew who it was, so my younger sister runs over and talks to them through the window, I watch as a loaded tray of Tim Hortons cups are handed out the window.
She returns to tell us that it was not who we thought, it was my brother in law's sister, who we don't know very well, but she saw us and bought us all hot chocolate, without even knowing who we all were and why we were out there.
I felt, as my wet hands closed around the warmth of the cup, that God was saying, "Thank YOU for coming today."
He wanted to say thank you first, because He knows that as much as its good for the new people to be appreciated and feel that appreciation, it's the same for me. Sometimes I would really like to know that my effort is not in vain, and God sees me wandering around the streets of downtown in the rain looking for a lost team member, trying to make this thing run in order to stand up for children that so many don't care about, but He does.
If anyone who was standing there with me on the wet sidewalk today is reading this, there's a reason I wasn't the only one who got the hot chocolate. God appreciates your effort just as much.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
I've asked this question...more times than I have cared to count.
I'm going to tell you a little story about my day yesterday, which I love.
After doing GAP, (the Genocide Awareness Project, now called the Human Rights Project) twice, I became a part of a group in my own town, called Windsor Against Abortion, which does... pretty much what it sounds like.
We are out on public sidewalks every week showing the truth about abortion, and having educational conversations with anyone who will stop at our invitation.
We always run into problems. Every week. It's basically a given, I believe because the devil does NOT appreciate our work, and will try every angle to stop us from being out there. So this week we lost one of our members, spent half of our activism time searching for her, (well at least I did, the others thankfully were able to set up right away) stood in the POURING rain with our signs, and didn't have very many conversations.
It just happened to be the week that a bunch of new people came to join us.
"We look SO unprofessional," I couldn't help feeling. "They're never going to want to come back."
So in our debrief time, I made sure to mention that we will be much more organized in the future, and I felt that it was most important to thank them for coming, because this work is not easy. It's not inviting. It takes guts and courage to step out of your comfort zone and come. They need to be appreciated, and FEEL appreciated.
However, before I could even say thank you, we hear a car honking near us. We thought we knew who it was, so my younger sister runs over and talks to them through the window, I watch as a loaded tray of Tim Hortons cups are handed out the window.
She returns to tell us that it was not who we thought, it was my brother in law's sister, who we don't know very well, but she saw us and bought us all hot chocolate, without even knowing who we all were and why we were out there.
I felt, as my wet hands closed around the warmth of the cup, that God was saying, "Thank YOU for coming today."
He wanted to say thank you first, because He knows that as much as its good for the new people to be appreciated and feel that appreciation, it's the same for me. Sometimes I would really like to know that my effort is not in vain, and God sees me wandering around the streets of downtown in the rain looking for a lost team member, trying to make this thing run in order to stand up for children that so many don't care about, but He does.
If anyone who was standing there with me on the wet sidewalk today is reading this, there's a reason I wasn't the only one who got the hot chocolate. God appreciates your effort just as much.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
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