When Slaves of Righteousness Leave

Hey friends! I have compiled a list of 101 books to read, so that I might not be so uneducated compared to Jane Fairfax.

(Kudos if you got the quote.)

I just finished #6 on my list, which was Eight Keys to Lasting Success, and it was actually written by my father, (Jay Thomson) who is very wise, and the book is very good.

I think my favorite chapter was the second last, in which he talks about slavery in the old testament, among other things, and it sparked a cool thought, so I decided to write about it.

In the old testament law, slavery was not what you and I think of in regards to the slave trade, or anything akin to it. Slavery had very specific guidelines set up by God, really for the betterment of everyone involved. It was a way of paying a debt, but in the process of this payment through servitude, the slave was to be mentored by his master, and equipped to be better able to provide for himself in the future.

The reason he would need to learn this at all was because as a part of the system, God had declared every 7th year to be a rest year, in which (among other things) every slave was to be set free.

And when you send him away free from you, you shall not let him go away empty-handed; you shall supply him liberally from your flock, from your threshing floor, and from your winepress. From what the Lord your God has blessed you with, you shall give to him. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God redeemed you; therefore I command you this thing today. (Deuteronomy 15:13-15)

Okay, so the first thing that is cool about this setup is that it is a picture of a picture. The exodus from Egypt, we as Christians can clearly see was both a physical deliverance and a prophetic picture of what God intended to do through Jesus Christ.

The blood over the doors of the Hebrews from an undefiled lamb delivered their children from death, God brought them out of the captivity of Egypt into the Promised Land, just like He brings us out of the captivity of sin into the Promised Life, through the blood of His undefiled Son.

So the exodus itself was a picture of the gospel, and then God when He sets up the society of His people as an individual nation, says to mirror that picture, because God treated them well when they were slaves in Egypt, so they must treat their slaves well.

Beyond that, there is more to this slave/owner relationship. If the slave had gone into servitude married, in the 7th year he would come out just as he had been before. However, if he was given a wife by his master, his wife and any children would remain slaves when he was set free.

Now before you go thinking that this is so unfair, realize that the slave would have perfect understanding of this before going into it. He didn't have to get married, it was a choice he would've made while being fully aware of the consequences.

However, sometimes people did make that choice, and when it came time to be set free, he wouldn't want to leave his wife and children, so he would tell his master he wanted to stay. God's provision for this was that when he told his master he wanted to stay, he would become a permanant slave of the household.

If you buy a Hebrew servant, he shall serve six years; and in the seventh he shall go out free and pay nothing. If he comes in by himself, he shall go out by himself; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master has given him a wife, and she has borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s, and he shall go out by himself. But if the servant plainly says, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free,’ then his master shall bring him to the judges. He shall also bring him to the door, or to the doorpost, and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him forever. (Exodus 21:2-6)

Here is what struck me about this. If the picture of the slave/owner relationship is supposed to be another picture of the gospel, (shown even further in the New Testament, as Jesus said that he who wishes to be first among you must become a slave of all, and then taught His disciples how to be HIS servants, by serving them.) what significance does the issue of leaving have?

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. (Romans 6:16-18)

It's cool because God makes the mirror work in two ways that are opposite eachother. On the one hand, the setting free of the slave on the Sabbath year is a picture of salvation. God brought the people out of the land of Egypt into "His rest," and He brings us out of bondage into "rest."

On the other hand, when we are set free from the bondage of sin, we naturally become slaves of righteousness. This is the slave relationship that I want to examine for a minute. God, in His picture, set up specific rules for the slave leaving. What is mirrored here about the way interacts with us?

If we choose to leave our Master's household, He will not hold us back. In fact, the principles we learned as Christians will benefit us in our life, in a way, He has "not let (us) depart empty-handed."

This success we will achieve as a result is of course, not lasting. At the very best it will carry up through to the end of our lives, and then every benefit we received in our lives on earth will be worth nothing in the face of eternal judgment.

But our Master does not just send us away willingly. He wants us to stay, so He provides incentive for us. If we choose to leave His house, we must leave our "wife and children" behind.

This is going to sound super weird for a minute, but hopefully you can get what I mean. Also, bear in mind that all of this was birthed out of my love for allegory in every possible scenario, so none of this is strictly biblical. God didn't speak to me from heaven to tell me that these were the reasons for these rules, but these are the pictures I see.

I'll start with the children. The bible sometimes refers to children as "fruit."

Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. (Genesis 1:28)

In another way, the bible compares the results of your actions to both fruit and children.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness... (Galatians 5:22)

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. (James 1:14-15)

If we think of the word children in this way, that is what we leave behind when we leave our Master. Actually in both senses, if we are leaving the master of sin, James 1 describes the children we leave behind, if we leave God as our master, Galatians 5 describes the children we leave behind.

Now for the wife. When God instituted marriage, He said a man would leave his father and mother, cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

God calls those who respond to the gospel, those who become His slaves, as His bride. As the Bride of Christ, we get to own that which He owns, we get to have a deep and personal relationship with Him, and we get treated with the respect and love that is due the Bride of Christ. (Not that we deserve it, but that by "marrying" us, He has elevated us to that place of honor.)

Okay. So if the servant of God becomes one flesh with the bride, then they are the same person. The slave is both slave and bride. If that slave chooses to leave, he must leave the bride behind.

If you choose to leave salvation behind, you are not just walking away from a master that you have to submit to, you are walking away from the opportunity to grow in character, (the fruit, or children) and you are walking away from an identity of honor.

Anyway, I thought that was cool. Let me know what you thought of my observations, or share any additional ones you had!

An Analogy on a Sunday Morning

Thank the Lord for analogies! I think so much in allegory, that if God didn't speak in analogies I don't think I would be able to understand most of what He says. That said, I want to share with you an analogy I thought about this morning.

I love ballet, but ballet is hard work. Being able to dance for me, means at least two hours, (if I don't have more time to devote than that) every day, six days a week, strengthening and stretching muscles, and even training myself to breathe differently.

Sometimes I don't like it very much. Recently I told my teacher about this subconscious trick I had taught myself, where every time I finished an excercise, I told myself, "Oh sweet, I get a little break!" When I got a water break, when it was time to stretch, when I had a moment to listen to correction, all of these came as exciting things because they were all "little breaks."

My teacher, a little amused and very confused asked, "If you get through the entire class by telling yourself that you are having a break...why do you even put yourself through it?"

It did seem a little odd, when I thought about it that way. The truth though, was that I love ballet. Sometimes I go through periods of time when I don't like it very much, but I know that these times pass. When I don't feel like exerting myself, it is discipline, as a result of passion, that keeps me working at it, and when I come to remember why I loved it, I am better able to do it because I kept going in spite of myself.

To jump topics just for a minute, the weather here in southern Ontario has been pretty awful since yesterday, and this morning our church service was actually cancelled.

I slept in, had a nice relaxed morning, but then I was thinking about what to do with my day, and the idea that I could just spend it with Jesus wouldn't leave my mind.

The problem was... Spending the day with Jesus is awesome, but it does take work. It takes discipline. Because it means reading the bible and actively thinking about what you've read. It means praying, even if you don't feel like He is listening, or if you can't keep your attention focused. It means when you feel like you should move onto something else because you've been "spending time with Jesus," for a while already, not moving on. It means staying. "Abiding in the Vine," if you will, even when you feel like you're being pulled off of it.

I just didn't know if I was ready for that kind of work.

I'm just going to take a moment to say, I am so glad I don't have a reputation to uphold! Sometimes I don't want to be honest about the things that I think because I look like a bad Christian, but isn't it a relief that we are all bad Christians? That the status "Christian," actually is NOT dependant on us, but 100% dependant on God? I don't have to be fake with Jesus, because for my failures He was willing to die, which means I don't have to be fake with you, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Anyway, so as I struggled with that this morning, my sister came downstairs with her laptop, ready to watch the livestream of our church service, which the pastor and his family did from their living room.

Thank the Lord also for sisters! Here's the thing. (I know I'm all over the place today, forgive me) God did such a good job in creating community. He really knew what He meant when He said it was not good for Adam to be alone, it is not good for any of us to be alone, as we find out very quickly when we are.

Left to my own devices this morning, I probably would be watching Youtube videos and/or sleeping right now, but I was not. Just the sheer accountability of having my sister there, willing to enter into the spirit of worship and submission to God's authority with me, made me enter in as well.

I wrestled a little bit more with thoughts of what to spend time on after the video, and found myself saying, "I don't feel like working at it, I don't feel like a good disciple, I don't feel..."

And suddenly I remembered that when I don't feel like dancing, I go to the barre and I push through. When I am having an off day and I feel like I've lost progress, I push through. Sometimes I give myself some grace, I recognize that it's an off day, but I also recognize that effort must be put in if off days are going to produce better days.

It's the same principle in my spiritual life. It's an off day. That doesn't mean I don't have to work. The work may not seem to produce anything today, but it certainly won't produce anything tomorrow if I don't do it.

If you're in a similar boat today then I hope you join me as I plan to read, I plan to pray, and I plan to accept without reservation the grace that God gives me for the struggle.

Fix Your Eyes Upon Jesus

I love prayer meetings. At least in theory.

I love the idea of the "core of the church" getting together on a regular basis to pray. I have been to lots of prayer meetings, I've stayed silent in most of them, and slept through a couple.

In every prayer gathering I've been to I have always felt a sense of, "If you're new, no worries! You don't have to pray out loud." I have wholeheartedly accepted this and avoided praying out loud like the plague, my only fear was that at some point, I would not be new anymore, and then I would have no excuse.

(Let me just clarify that I know praying, whether aloud or silently, is just talking to God. I have a strange aversion to small groups though, even more so than large ones. I am not nervous to speak publicly, or pray publicly, in front of 200 people. I am VERY afraid to speak publicly, or pray publicly, in front of 5.)

There were always a few comfortable weeks, until my conscience (or maybe just self-consciousness) would start nagging, and I couldn't feel right until I attempted some sort of audible prayer, however uncomfortable about it I felt.

I acknowledged that it was good for me, so I continued to love prayer meetings. (In theory.) In reality I was scared stiff every time I went, and felt anxious about praying until I had prayed, which was usually near the end of the night. So I wasted most of the time worrying, and then I would waste the rest of the time feeling bad about how short, or how stupid, or how vague, or how seemingly pretentious my prayer had been.

This is where my little story begins. For the past while I have been going to a new prayer meeting, which I love, but it has been slowly creeping into my consciousness that at some point I would have to drag myself up to the microphone and pray. At least with a microphone that scared me half to death, my prayer (or plea) was sure to be sincere.

Last night, we were reading in 2 Corinthians 4, and something stood out to me.

...But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. (2 Corinthians 4:2-4)

The part of this that stuck out to me was verse 3, "But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost."

I had just been reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, and he had just been addressing humility, and how truly humble people do not look down on themselves, they don't look at themselves at all, they look at God.

As I read it, the thought came to me that those who look on God reflect what this passage calls "the glorious gospel of Christ," to those around them. In fact it is such an automatic reaction that if people don't see the image of God and the gospel in them, it is only because the devil has specifically blinded them to it.

Now obviously God can remove blinders, and we can pray for removal of those blinders, but when people are not seeing the gospel in us, is it the blinders that are hindering people from seeing the reflection, or is it that we are not looking on God?

I loved this insight, and a passing thought came through my mind, "This is actually something I could share if I wanted to."

But my "passing thought," didn't pass. Suddenly the terrifying thought that God might actually be telling me to share it came to my mind. Oh no.

My sister Rachel got up and went to the microphone, she shared something which actually tied in really well to what I had on my heart. I remembered that a few months ago God was showing me that unity of the body was so important because the way He speaks to the body is by speaking in patterns to individuals. If those individuals never shared what He was saying, the body would never understand the full picture. If I didn't share what I had, they wouldn't hear it from someone else.

I tried every escape route I could think of. I tried getting into the worship, the song said "Show me how to love like You have loved me."

Jesus' ministry, aside from dying for us, was about coming and revealing the Father, showing the real image of God. If this wasn't an act of love, what is? Show me how to love like that, we sang.

It was as if Jesus said to me, "Like that? Like I did when I looked only at my Father, and His image was shown to the world? Like I just told you about, where you look only at Me and the truth automatically is shown to those around? Like you could be doing right now with what I just showed you?"

I tried the reasoning that I was too weak. My subconscious told me that if God was calling me even though I was too weak, He would remind me of a bible character who did it despite being unqualified, but nope. He took me again to the revelation He had just given me, that those who look ONLY at God, the gospel will show through. In declaring myself too weak, I was not only not looking at God, but I was "walking in craftiness," and "handling the word of God deceitfully."

I tried running out of time. "God," I prayed, if you are calling me, please provide me with a clear opening to speak." Just then, the leader of the meeting God up to speak. I breathed a sigh of relief, and felt a slight pang of guilt, the meeting was ending.

Psych! He prayed and sat back down. The music continued. There was an opening.

"Okay," I thought, "Clearly I have to do this. But I don't even know what I'm talking about!" Everything had stressed me out so much that I couldn't even figure out how I had arrived at my conclusions. I had 1 Corinthians 4:2-4, but that didn't really speak to the "looking at God" thing. I couldn't remember any scriptures to support it in my muddle-headedness, I had only Mere Christianity to lean on, and I've always opposed theology backed only by extra-biblical books.

I looked up, and 2 Corinthians 3:18 sat before me.

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I had more than enough evidence that God was calling me to the front of the room, but I still couldn't bring myself to go. I looked again at my bible and kept reading in 2 Corinthians 4.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; Knowing that He which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not: but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:13-18)

I will make the note that I have emboldened the parts which speak most strongly to what I was thinking, but all of it fit. Everything in those verses spoke to my struggle, every single word told me to get up off of my chair and proclaim what the Lord had told me.

So I did, like a skittish, shaking little...something, I slipped up to the front, fumbled with the microphone, almost cried, my mouth dried up, and I daresay I didn't communicate well at all, but I obeyed.

For about 1/4 of a second a voice in my head told me that it wouldn't have been worth it if people didn't understand or weren't affected by what I had said, but the louder voice quickly snuffed it out saying, "I was affected. I understood, and I obeyed. If no one else grew spiritually, I did. If no one else learned to look more fully on the face of God, I DID."

I have a few reasons for writing this for you to read. First, I hope that others, when they read about how stupidly I reacted to the situation, can take comfort that God will use who He will, no matter how ridiculous they are.

Secondly, I wanted to share my original insight with you, because I think it is awesome and will benefit all Christians to think about. Again, if I, as a part of the body, do not share it, the rest of the body doesn't get to know.

Thirdly, I did do a poor job of communicating last night, so while I don't doubt God's ability to speak whatever the others needed to hear through me, I know I will not feel full closure until I have put it out the way I understood it.

And lastly, because I love it when God speaks to me, (however much I didn't love it at that moment) and when, in the future, I have moments of doubt, I want a record for myself that I can look back on and know that God is faithful and true.

For we commend not ourselves again unto you, but give you occasion to glory on our behalf, that ye may have somewhat to answer them which glory in appearance, and not in heart. For whether we be beside ourselves, it is to God; or whether we be sober, it is for your cause. (2 Corinthians 5:12-13)

Day 28: Learning About Faith

Hello friends!

I haven't written in a long time, but I wanted to tell you about a new way I've been learning about faith.

A few months ago I was listening for God to speak to me, and I felt like He showed me something that I hadn't really realized about myself before.

I have been praying for God to make me holy, to "bring to completion the work He started in me," and strengthen my faith and my love for Him. As much as I've been praying this, I realized that day that I didn't actually believe He would. I don't know why, I certainly believed Him capable of it, but for some reason or another, as much as I longed to grow in righteousness, I never expected myself to move beyond where I am right now.

That was the first piece of faith that He showed me I thought I understood, but really didn't.

The second piece came really recently, after I experienced two setbacks in my dance training.

First I had a stretching restriction. I don't know if it was an injury, so I'll call it a restriction, but I could stretch in certain ways for a long time, setting back my progress substantially. Second, I injured my back, in the middle of a challenge I had set for myself, called "28 Days of Choreography."

I pushed through the pain most of the time, I didn't believe it to be a serious injury, but near the end of this month it became apparent that it was a bigger deal than I thought, and I really shouldn't keep dancing.

In my last three days of the challenge, I had to stop dancing. That was so disappointing.

Pausing for a moment here, I have to explain what else I was learning at the same time, and I'll get back to how those fit together.

I was listening to a sermon recently, when something that was said reminded me that underneath my desire to dance, is a desire to serve and glorify God. He is the reason I dance, and the reason I train. But recently I had gotten so caught up in trying to train and become a better dancer faster, that I had been sacrificing time spent with Him, and He used that moment to let me know that was not okay with Him.

My first reaction was, "Okay Lord, I need to spend more time with you, I'll just get up earlier."

His response was, (not in these exact words) "No you won't. What if you sleep in and you only have time for one, Me or dance?"

I inwardly groaned, this is a problem I come across sometimes. "The thing is," I argued back, "I am losing time because I'm getting older. I can spend time with You any time."

Just then He brought back to my memory something I had written in my journal a few years ago, that who I am today shapes who I am tomorrow. My dream is to be a dancer, but I want to be a mentor and a dancer at the same time. I realized in that moment that every time I sacrifice my "spiritual training" for physical training, I am shaping myself to be a strong dancer and weak disciple in the future.

I had to ask the question, which would I rather be, a strong dancer and weak Christian, or a weak dancer and strong Christian?

Before I could even argue, God answered my next objection, with, "You know I can do miracles. 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added unto you."

He was asking me to put practical faith into action. To, if it came down to it, sacrifice what I feel like I can't in order to spend time with Him.

The next thing in this learning process was a few verses I decided to memorize, Hebrews 12:1-4.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.”

The first day since that realization, I was already battling temptation to put off quiet time with the Lord til "later," and the one line came to mind, "Let us lay aside every weight."

"Weight," over the past few days, has come to mean a great many things to me, and it's amazing how many weights need to daily be laid aside, especially, as the verse points out, since I am surrounded by witnesses every day. God not only calls me to surrender my life, but to be an example to everyone else who looks on.

“Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” I Timothy‬ ‭4:12‬ 

When I was told I couldn't dance until we figured out what was wrong with my back, I had to bring it back to Jesus, "Why do I keep getting injured, Lord?"

As I mentioned earlier, this isn't the first injury I've had which kept me from dancing, but I've never even had one FROM dancing, they're all just lame injuries from simple things. Is there a reason? Is God trying to teach me something? Is it just coincidence?

I always want answers on a broad scale. I know that God works through my whole life, so I want Him to show me some grand pattern He's been working on through my life, and how that is laying the ground work for my future. But often He just shows me one thing at a time, just as much as I need and not more.

"Lay aside every weight."
"Seek first the kingdom."
"Set an example."

So...I don't know how long I won't be dancing, hopefully not too long, but this is time I think God wants me to intentionally invest in relationship with Him. And if God doesn't consider it wasted time, neither should I.



As long as my back heals in time, I am still planning to go to Ballet Magnificat's Summer Dance Intensive in Mississippi this summer, so if you would like to support me, it would be SO much appreciated! My GoFundMe link is HERE.

Character Building Bread (Not With Pictures, Because There's No Such Thing as Instagram in Character Development)

Hello friends! If you're anything like me, you'll understand the feeling of euphoria when you wake up to the smell of freshly baked banana bread, wafting through the house.

There's nothing quite like warm, moist banana bread, especially with chocolate chips, because you and I both know, chocolate makes everything better.

Because I love to bake, and I love Chocolate Chip Banana Bread, and I love blogging, I thought I would share my recipe with you all, so you can enjoy the same treat I am going to in about 40 minutes. (Yay!)

Here's what you'll need.

-All purpose flour
-Baking soda
-Baking powder
-Salt
-Sugar
-1 egg
-Milk
-Unsalted Butter softened
-3 Mashed bananas
-Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips

To start off, take your 5 bananas, (this particular recipe calls for 3, so let's do 5 so that you can't quite double the recipe, you just have to test your math skills.) and mash them.

Next, combine all of your dry ingredients in a bowl, and go shopping. The original recipe tells you to leave the sugar out so you can combine it with the butter later, but those rules are really only guidelines to make things easier, so you don't really need to follow them. Do things the hard way, it's good for you.

When you get back from shopping and you have a very limited time to whip this all together before you have to leave for the evening, it's time to soften the butter. The recipe says unsalted, but are you about to allow a recipe to control your life? No. Just use salted.

Microwaves are no good, DO NOT USE THE MICROWAVE. Instead, use the toaster oven, which will soften the outside of the butter very quickly causing it to run all over, but leave the centre just has firm as before. This is good because it not only strengthens your ability to handle stress under a time crunch, it also improves your arm muscles. If you break a couple utensils in the process, don't worry about it. It's part of life.

While waiting for the butter in the toaster oven, lightly whisk the eggs in a bowl. This doesn't really matter, because in a moment you are going to beat them to death trying to get the butter to mix, but you should try to stick to some rules, so stick to that one.

If your butter WILL NOT mix, feel free to stick it back into the toaster oven, but make sure you watch it like a hawk so the egg doesn't cook overtop of the butter.

When that comes out, you can now add your dry ingredients! Yay, we're getting somewhere!

Feel free to forget about the milk. Again, it builds both character and muscle trying to beat your super thick doughy batter into submission, so use this chance to better yourself. You will need to add it at some point though, and when you do, you may as well toss the spoon aside because only your bare hands will be able to conquer the mass that sits before you. Zero all of your attention on it at this point, flour, egg, and butter on every surface of your kitchen don't matter that much, and you are running out of time.

Spoon the nearly solid batter with little butter chunks throughout into two silicone pans, and put them in the oven at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

And finally, pray. Character building is all about pushing yourself to your limits, and submitting to the fact that only God can strengthen your spirit and make your banana bread edible.

In the end, it should look like this, and no one will be any the wiser. Except you, because wisdom is one of those things that comes with good character.

Let me know how this recipe worked for you!

If you have any negative feedback, feel free to email pleasekeepittoyourself@buildscharacter.com

Because We Look Like God

Hello all y'alls!

I had a thought a while ago which I have never actually heard anyone else talk about, so I feel slightly hesitant to bring it up, except that I'm pretty sure I'm right, and if I am, this is a new perspective that I think is really valuable.

So firstly, one thing I have heard people talk about a LOT in the past couple of years, is identity. The gist of all the identity talks can, I think, be broken down into three categories.

1. Your Identity is Not What You Think It Is
2. Your Identity is Under Attack
3. Understanding Your Identity is SUPER Important

Let's talk about these.

1. Your Identity is Not What You Think It Is

I love to dance. I want dancing to be what I do with my life, no matter how hard it is. In fact, I love how hard it is. Discipline and the feeling of achievement is one of my favourite things about the art form, and for a really long time, I couldn't wait til I could take on the title, "Dancer."
"Ballerina," I felt was even further from my reach, and I refused to call myself either one of those titles for a long time because I felt that I needed to earn it first. I couldn't wait to earn it. I couldn't wait to be able to call myself "A dancer."

But I realized one day, through hearing another dancer's story, that I wanted to call myself something because until I had achieved something great, I didn't feel like I had any value to give. As soon as I had done it, then my existence would be worth it. Then I would have value. But God challenged me on that and called back to my attention the fact that He could totally take away my ability to dance, and what would I do then? My potential identity would be gone. How would I live without knowing that someday I would be valuable?

Saying it in such blatant words makes it obvious what the problem there was. Of course it didn't sound like that in my head. I had wrapped my identity up in what I was able to achieve, I had told myself that until I got there, just being a beloved child of God wasn't good enough.

The truth of the matter is that your identity is not found it what you do, how you think, what you believe, your identity is simply you. It's who God created you to be. It's the pure core of who you are that God made, loved, and died for. He thought you, without any other credentials, were worth dying for.

2. Your Identity is Under Attack

The kind of scenario I mentioned above is SUPER common. For some reason it's like most humans are not content with who they are, they have to find their identity in something other than God's love, whether that is their work, their family, their achievements, etc.
It's almost like someone is selling us that lie.
Speaking of lies, you know what else "someone" tries to sell us? That in order to fix ourselves, we should hurt ourselves.
A couple examples are, throughout history every time pagan worship has been allowed to progress, it always turns to some sort of self-harm. In idol worship people would often cut themselves as they tried to appease or appeal to whichever god, and even further, it would often lead to child sacrifice, so not only would they hurt themselves, but they would hurt their children.
Not only pagan worship, but things most of us North Americans in 2018 can relate to more, like cutting. Eating disorders. If I may make a parallel to going a step further, pagan worshippers sacrificed their children to the gods, we have abortions.
Why would demonic forces work so hard to make us find identity in wrong places and hurt ourselves? Because if we believe and rest in who we are in Christ, we don't need anything else to be satisfied. We don't need to play any of the devil's games, we're happy right where we are, completely protected by our Saviour, and that is the last place Satan wants us to be.

3. Understanding Your Identity is SUPER Important

I sort of touched in this already, but the reason it's so important to understand your true identity, is because the more you are under Christ's protection, the less you are in dangerous enemy territory.
If you are looking for identity in your job, this opens you up to potentially making an idol of your job, but it also shows that you think you need more than God.
If you completely understood how much God loves you and were perfectly at peace with that, what could convince you to hurt yourself? It would seem like utter foolishness to you.
If we as a nation understood people's identity as "Made in God's Image," would we kill our children?
There are just so many things that would be changed if we only knew who we were in Christ. We wouldn't hate ourselves, we wouldn't hurt ourselves, we wouldn't be always longing for something to make us valuable.

I know that was a long winded prologue, but if you hadn't thought through all of that before, it's better that you do before I say my new perspective on this.

The thought suddenly came to me one day. "Why does Satan have a bone to pick with us?"

Seriously. Think about it.

He was jealous of God, organized a rebellion, and got kicked out of heaven, before we were ever created. That had nothing to do with us.

He has supernatural power. Obviously not as great as God's, but if we didn't have God's protection, imagine a fight between me and the devil. It would be like:

Me: Take this! (Starts running forward with a sword and a battlecry)
Satan: Yeah, that's enough.
I'm dead. The end.

So seriously, why does he care about harassing us? We are no threat to him, we had nothing to do with his fallout with God, even if he did manage to win all of us to his side, he's not creating an army, we're just all going to hell, which, by the way, was God's invention, not his.

The answer, I believe, is simple. We are just tools in his fight with God.

It's true, God kicked him out of heaven. God will always be stronger, and always win every fight they have, but Satan is a schemer. What better insult would there be than to hurt what God loves?

Imagine an analogy, let's say you have a nemesis, but you're basically Superman and can't be beaten. Your nemesis can't kill you, but he can kill your sister. Your spouse. Your child. You and I both know that would hurt as bad or worse as if he had just killed you.

So that's exactly what he does. He does everything he can to fracture the relationship between God and His church, everything he can to get the one God loves to turn away after other things, and everything he can to make those who bear the very image of God, mar it. Because if he can't hurt God, he can make us hurt that which most closely resembles Him. Another analogy: If someone burns a picture of someone else, you imagine they probably hate them.

One more thing! When God made Himself vulnerable and came to earth in the form of a man, Satan tempted Him in the wilderness by challenging WHO HE WAS. His identity. "If you really are the Son of God..."

In summary, Satan has a bone to pick with us only because God loves us, and because we look like God.

So friends, this inner struggle we have all the time as Christians, what the bible calls "the race," and "the good fight of faith," it's not just a battle we have to win for ourselves. It's a battle we have to win because Jesus gave us the power to do it, and if we don't, we aren't the ones who end up the most hurt, He is.

A Verse For 365 Days

Happy New Year!

It's a tradition in my family to sit down together on the 1st of January, and learn from my father, who is very wise, and has taught us from very young ages how to plan for our lives.

We have kind of a running joke in my house about three year old and younger kids sitting on the floor, staring blankly at my dad who is explaining assets/liabilities, having zoned out twenty minutes ago. But the truth is, the joke is completely true, that's exactly what happened. Over the years, we learned to sit still, to listen, and to learn.

I have come to really appreciate these family meetings, as I think most if not all of my siblings have.

Rewind to January 1st 2016. I was sitting on the couch during our meeting, and for some unclear reason, I turned to Proverbs.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

I understood just then, that God was giving me this verse for the year, for all of 2016.

That year, it was AMAZING how close to that theme my life stuck. Constantly I went back to it, it corrected me, encouraged me, and comforted me.

On January 1st 2017, I was again sitting on the couch, and I asked God, "Please give me a verse for this year as well."

I turned in my bible, and ended up in Isaiah.

Behold, I will do a new thing. Shall you not know it? I will even make roads in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

To be quite honest, I thought it was a little bit lame at first. It reminded me of those "teenage Christian girl" verses which you would usually see with an Instagram photo, like Jeremiah 29:11.

But I felt convicted about that, so I asked for forgiveness and accepted it. I forgot about it for a while, until my life took a VERY unexpected turn, which made me extremely upset, and all I could see on the horizon was fog. I had no idea where I was going from there. I picked up my notebook one day, read what I had written, and began to understand.

The situation actually changed a number of times, each time I went back to that verse, understanding that God was doing a new thing, and I would know it.

In the end, it changed in such a way that made me...SO happy. But it wasn't finished. It was like God showed me how He was opening the door for a new thing, but He didn't really get it started, or if He did, it certainly wasn't anywhere near finished.

The "roads in the wilderness and rivers in the desert" part, I didn't really understand.

I was praying about it on January 1st 2018, and God pointed out to me that a road is a means to an end. Yes, He said "I will do a new thing," but what does He say the new thing is, at least in metaphor? "ROADS in the wilderness, and RIVERS in the desert."

A road is a way to get somewhere. It is a thing, it's a good thing, but you don't walk on a road for the sake of the road, you walk on a road to get somewhere.

A river is a body of water, but it's not self sufficient. A river comes from somewhere, if you follow it, it will lead you to a much bigger body of water where it came from.

It took me an entire year to understand what God was trying to say through that verse, but I think I get it now. I still don't know what's at the end of the road, or what's at the beginning of that river, but I know that God gave me a road this year, and I will WALK it. I will walk it until God tells me to stop, because He said "Shall you not know it?" And I KNOW that He gave me a road.

So here's what I'm going to say to finish this. Bible verses for the year are SO awesome. If you'd like to, I encourage you to pray for one, and if you have a cool story about it, I'd love to hear it!
It's not always going to be that clear. I have two written down for 2018, maybe God gave me one, or both, or neither, but if I'm totally wrong, anything that causes me to seek the Lord and His purpose for my year more is going to be helpful.

May 2018 hold more knowledge and experience of Jesus for you!



Side note: Guess what? I am going to Mississippi, (God willing) in July 2018! There is a company called Ballet Magnificat which is based there, and they run a dance intensive every year in the summer, which I am planning to go to, but I need some help. My goal is to raise $3,015 by April, so if you would like to help support my trip, you can donate as little or as much as you like HERE.
Thank you!