Sold Out of What? Fudge?

I'm sure you've heard people talk about being "Sold out for the Lord, "or similar things like that.

What does it mean to be sold out? It makes me think of God, our self proclaimed "Redeemer." The One who bought us.

To be owned by God is to have every aspect of one's life surrendered, to be sold to Him is to willingly allow Him control of one's entire being.

You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. (I Corinthians 7:23)

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? (Romans 6:16)

It's pretty crazy to think about, so I understand where the almost Christian catch-phrase: "Sold out" came from.

But like most catch phrases, they lose their meaning over time. People hear them and think, "I know what that means," and those same people use them in correct context without really thinking about what they mean.

I'll raise my hand when you ask, "What people?" I'm not just blaming everyone else.

I may have expressed some frustration about this this morning to my sister, who promptly asked, "Sold out of what? Fudge?"

(our family owns a chocolate company, that's where that joke came from.

http://sweetsomethingschocolate.com/ in case you want to check it out. ;) )

We both laughed about it, but then I got thinking. That's actually a good question.

For everyone who uses the term, "Sold out," allow me to ask.

Sold out of what?

The idea behind the phrase, as I mentioned earlier, is that we sell ourselves. But let's talk about this. What else have we sold?

What have we lost because we traded it for something else?

I want to be sold out of anxiety. I don't want to worry anymore.

I want to be sold out of shame. I don't want to see myself anymore the way I do sometimes, I want to trade that for contentment in my identity in Christ.

I want to be sold out of sin. How good it would be to have instead the riches of God's presence!

But what have I really wanted, based on my actions? Have I sold things that now I wish I hadn't?

Have I sold my innocence?

Have I sold my holiness?

Have I sold my disgust for the things that God hates?

Have I sold my ability to stand before Him with no barriers between us?

I don't like these thoughts. They make me sad. For everything sold something was paid, and what have I gained for the precious things I've lost?

But sometimes it's worth it to be uncomfortable.

The good news is, I know the best Businessman in the world. At buying things back, He has shown Himself more than capable.

I think He buys us with the intent to teach us to buy back what we have lost as well, He wants us to regain the precious things we've sold in our ignorance, but there is always a cost.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)

Sometimes the cost is sin, sometimes it's comfort, and sometimes it's much more. Maybe our home, our job, our lives.

Life is like a market. Everyone buys and everyone sells, you must decide what is worth keeping and what is better off exchanged for something else.

For some things, we need to realize, no price is too high.

Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” (Matthew 19:21)

What is Truth?

My church's Young Adults Group has just started doing the Truth Project.

I'm not going to talk about the series, as we are only one video in, but I want to talk about something that was brought up last week, which has been on my heart for a while.

What has happened to simplicity?

I know that God is vast and beyond our comprehension. He is intelligent and creative and thus, there are endless opportunities for the mind to explore in His creation, and even just in His character.

I love this. I am the kind of person who likes mysteries and enjoys puzzles. I have grown up listening to my dad talk theology, and learning how to debate.

But one thing that my mother has modeled for me over the years is how simple faith really is.

Looking at her and the family she grew up in sometimes makes me wish for a simpler faith. One that prays for income, works, and thanks God for the increase. 

Again, I love the complex side of God, but I have started to think that just maybe, in our day and age, we have overcomplicated things.

The reason I bring this up is because our pastor's wife asked at the meeting last week, "What is truth?"

The question was to get us to think, and that it did, but I confess my first thought and feeling was to be very frustrated that we must ask that question at all.

The theory of relativism, of "Your truth, my truth, his truth," is an idea that is very widely accepted in the secular world.

I did GAP last year, (the Genocide Awareness Project, a week of pro life activism) and talked to a TON of university students who held this worldview.

What concerned me the most was when some of them identified themselves as Christians.

I can understand unbelievers holding that. The argument doesn't hold up well, but I understand why they can think that.

Christians CANNOT.

Here we go again, overcomplicating things. As a Christian, you must believe what the bible says. What does the bible say about truth?

Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth. (John 17:17)

For we can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth. (II Corinthians 13:8)

God's word is truth. What He has said, what He has made, what He has put into order. That's not up for debate. We can't even do anything against truth, because if we do something, it becomes a part of what God has already set in place. You tripped? You laughed? That's true. Nothing you say or do will ever change that truth.

Truth is simple. We do ourselves a disservice if we make it anything but.

And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32)

Where is the freedom in relative truth? You can never know, you can never be sure. The very ground you stand on may dissolve beneath you because you can't trust the truth that it will last.

Truth is a gift, and we get to have it.

Have I not written to you excellent things Of counsels and knowledge, That I may make you know the certainty of the words of truth, That you may answer words of truth To those who send to you? (Proverbs 22:20, 21)

If there was no truth, you could never learn it, it would be like a bird constantly flying just out of your reach.

Truth is lasting. Jesus is "the way, the truth, and the life." What does this even mean if the truth is negotiable?

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations. (Psalms 100:5)

To answer the question....truth is what we thought it was before we started talking about relativity.

These days, I think a five year old child would be better at answering that question than a 25 year old.

We urge children to "tell the truth," yet that can be argued in university.

Why do we argue? Why did we lose the simplicity in the first place? I think because we know if we must conform to the truth, we must change the way we are.

We have turned "every one to his own way." We are not creatures of truth, we sin, and we know that if we face the One who knows the truth, He will see the lies we have told others and ourselves to justify the breaking of His law.

But somehow, God intended to keep us WITHOUT ignoring the truth about us.

This verse expresses it beautifully.

Show us Your mercy, Lord, And grant us Your salvation. I will hear what God the Lord will speak, For He will speak peace To His people and to His saints; But let them not turn back to folly. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, That glory may dwell in our land. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed. (Psalms 85:7-10)

Accidentally Ignoring Jesus

Can anyone hide himself in secret places, So I shall not see him?” says the Lord; “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” says the Lord. (Jeremiah 23:24)

I came across this verse a couple days ago, I really love it.

I had just gotten off of work, and I was sitting in the McDonalds lobby, just reading my bible and sipping my coffee.

After reading a few chapters, I started to notice a few conversations going on around me. Some of it was inspiring, actually, while some of it just made me despair for our generation.

As I listened, I really noticed the contrast of the people in that restaurant.

There I was, a young lady with strong beliefs, sitting, listening. Around me, people talked about success and business, their crushes or lack thereof, and some people just read the newspaper, unaware of the world around them.

I was keenly aware of the other presence in the room, which I'm sure most didn't realize. My Lord who, like me, listened.

That was when I was inspired to find a verse like Jeremiah 23:24, which evidently I did, and that inspiration made me want to blog.

I began to write, when suddenly it dawned on me how silly it was that I was writing about God being WITH us, and I wasn't talking to Him. I wrote that I was possibly the only one in the lobby who had a real relationship with Him, the only one who realized He was there, and what was I doing? Writing.

I apologized, and quickly put away my iPod. The rest of my time waiting for my sister was spent talking with God and enjoying His presence.

I think I need constant reminders that that is so much better in fact than in theory. It was lovely.

So I guess I'll just end by saying, don't just read this and agree with me. Don't just say "Praise the Lord," or write something down when you have an insight. Talk to Jesus! He is always wanting to talk to you.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

Cunningly Devised Fables

With lots of time and little to do, I tend to roam the internet for some fairytale or other, and Tuesday's gem was a whole boatload of Norse myths.

They kept me entertained for about an hour before I stumbled upon one that seemed strangely familiar.

The story was how Odin, in his search for wisdom, sacrificed himself in order to prove himself worthy of the runes.

The Runes were supposed to essentially be these ancient magical scripts which would make one wise. (that's a very rough description. If you're offended because you know all about Norse myths, forgive me)

Anyway, in order to prove himself worthy, he hung himself on a tree and stabbed himself with a spear. There he hung, teetering on the brink of death for nine days and nine nights, until at last the Runes revealed themselves to him.

I couldn't help but think of someone else who was pierced by a spear and hung on a tree.

After seeing that initial parallel, I wondered where this legend came from. Was it indeed just a story that a father once told his son, or did it actually come from somewhere else? An older story, or an actual event in history. So I did a little research.

Odin was called "the most powerful and wisest god," "the Allfather of the Norse gods and the ruler of Asgard."

There are obviously a million differences between Odin and God, (Odin was married to the goddess Frigg, had one eye, and had wolves and ravens that brought him information, to name a few) so I'm not trying to say they are the same or anything. But I do want to look at the parallels between the story of Christ's crucifixion and this story which may or may not have originated there, you can draw your own conclusions.

Some tellings of this particular story say that Odin actually died, and was revived when the Runes appeared, but in either case, he was very near death.

As he saw the Runes coming, it says he screamed.

.....And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. (Matthew 27:50)

Just sayin.'

After this sacrifice, he allegedly wrote a poem about it, which was added to a huge collection of Norse legends and poetry, called the Poetic Edda.

This is a direct quote from the Poetic Edda:

 I ween that I hung on the windy tree,
Hung there for nights full nine;
With the spear I was wounded, and offered I was
To Othin, (Odin) myself to myself,
On the tree that none may ever know
What root beneath it runs.

I LOVE to look really far into things, which may or may not have significance, so I was quite delighted to find that Odin hung on the tree, "teetering on the precipice that separates the living from the dead," (quote from Norse Mythology for Smart People: norse-mythology.org) for 3 x 3 days.

An offering of "myself to myself."

The way human sacrifices were made to Odin was exactly this way. The person was hung on a tree and stabbed with a spear, so by doing that to himself, it was like a sacrifice to himself.

Much like God sacrificed Jesus, (who was God) as a sacrifice on behalf of us, to Himself.

An offering of Himself to Himself.

"On the tree that none may ever know what root beneath it runs."

None may ever know, and none will, because He was the only one who could pay that price.

None of them can by any means redeem his brother, Nor give to God a ransom for him— For the redemption of their souls is costly, And it shall cease forever— That he should continue to live eternally, And not see the Pit. (Psalms 49:7-9)

The tree that Odin hung on was called Yggdrasil. The most common translation is "Tree of Ash," but literally translated, it means "The Ash Tree of the Horse of Yggr."

Yggr means "The Terrible One." (Yggr was also commonly used as another name for Odin, even to the point where Yggdrasil would be translated, "Odin's Horse."

Terrible doesn't necessarily mean bad. Especially in old English, it meant great, mighty, awesome.

So "Ash" and "The Terrible One," made sense to me, but the horse was confusing.

My first thoughts were to the horses in Revelation, but then I looked up more verses with horses, and had another thought.

(again, I may be looking too far, but hey, it was fun.)

And Miriam answered them: "Sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously! The horse and its rider He has thrown into the sea!" (Exodus 15:21)

I have always seen a parallel between the exodus from Egypt and our freedom from sin.

The Israelites were in captivity in Egypt, (we were in captivity in sin) God led them away and into the Promised Land. (God led us away and gave us salvation)

The place in the middle is what I want to talk about here, where God threw horse and rider into the sea.

The Red Sea, you can see as the way by which God brought them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. Jesus' death was the way by which He brought us out of sin and into salvation.

So what, or who, is the horse, being thrown into the sea?

Jesus.

The Egyptians were the enemies of God's people, and it was by their sin that they and the horses they rode were sentenced to death.

The horses suffered death because of the people they carried on their backs, not because of anything they had done.

Jesus suffered death because of the sin that He carried on His back, not because of anything He had done.

So the tree, Yggdrasil.

The Ash Tree of the Horse of the Terrible One.

The Ash Tree of the Horse of God.

The Ash Tree of the Sacrifice of God.

The Death Tree of the Son of God.

As much fun as it is to explore myths and legends though, it's important to remember which copied which.

Because "We did not follow cunningly devised fables when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of His majesty." (II Peter 1:16)

New Years Thoughts

"Surrender to God's plan."

What does that even mean?

I don't know God's plan! I keep asking Him about His plan, but so far, I've heard nothing.

"It's okay that you don't know," I tell myself. "He doesn't expect you to have life all figured out. Just rest in the fact that He knows. Just surrender to His will."

I breathe a sigh of relief. Oh good. All I have to do is surrender.

Shoot.

HOW??

I've been taught since I was a young child to make goals. Dream big, and chase those dreams. Break it down into steps, you don't just jump and hope you touch the moon, you build a rocket ship.

But sometimes I get conflicted. What if what I want is not what God wants?

What if in chasing my dreams, I am not surrendering?

Many times, I have asked myself the question, "If God wanted you to give up your dreams, would you be okay with that?"

A few times, I have been horrified to discover that I hated the thought. I really did want my dreams more than God, but because I want to want God more than my dreams, He always wins.

Most often, I'm pretty okay with giving all of it up. I just want Jesus, whatever that comes with.

But in either scenario, I have tried to fully and completely surrender my life to Him, and wait for His direction, and you know what He does? Nothing. So you know what I do? Nothing.

But because He created me with a brain, I know that something is wrong with this picture. So usually I get back on my feet and start chasing my dreams again, hoping He'll show me a plan to surrender to.

So what do you do? Surrender, or chase your dreams? 

I was reading an article yesterday which talked about not chasing your dreams, but instead surrendering to Jesus, but something just seemed off. The way I put it to myself in my head was, "The answer is somewhere in the middle. We can debate about chasing our dreams, or surrendering to God's plan, but I think He really wants us to chase His plan."

You see... When I ask, "God, what do you want me to do with my life?" He either doesn't answer me, or tells me something like, 

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. (John 15:4)

Last year at New Years, God gave me a verse for the year. I've never had a verse for a year before, so it was really cool, and I am hoping for a new one for 2017, but 2016's was Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

That promise gave me a lot of comfort, being the one who just wants to KNOW.

I kept going back to it over the whole year, and I've come to the conclusion that He has been directing my paths. It hasn't been like receiving instruction, but I have chased my dreams, being careful to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and I have not been hindered.

If in every way you are acknowledging God as you chase your dreams, I believe He will let you know if they are wrong. If He doesn't, keep going. Pursue them, (acknowledge Him) work hard, (acknowledge Him) strive, (acknowledge Him) motivate yourself, (acknowledge Him) and that's called chasing His plan.

Tomorrow is the start of a brand new year. It's a chance to start chasing again with renewed determination.

But what will you chase, my friend? Or rather, how will you chase it?

Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, but be afraid of the way you follow them. Do it with the intent of chasing God's plan.

You can't follow God down a path that He hates. He just won't go there. So if you're following Him, you can trust that wherever you're going is where He wants you.

Here's to a great 2017!

It's Not My Option

"My sweet Jesus was not nailed to a cross for me to feel good about my brokenness, for my hurting heart to feel comforted, for my guilt to be pleasantly balmed.

My sweet Jesus was not nailed to a cross for me to periodically acknowledge that there is always someone there who loves me, while still living in my sin."

-Melissa, My Sweet Jesus Blog

I read this last night, and felt very convicted.

Sometimes I am all amazed at the grace of Jesus, knowing He has completely cleansed me and made me whole, yet I hold onto the picture of myself that is broken and wanting.

Somehow I think that if I see myself as dirty and sinful, (even if I am technically not because Jesus has healed me) I am being more humble, or a better saint.

Maybe this is because I admire people who admit that they struggle, and I look up to a lot of people who have dealt with issues of self-worth.

I convince myself that I should look down on myself, that to actually believe what Jesus says of me would be to somehow lose the greatness of His transformation.

This really doesn't make sense, because if He really has transformed me, I shouldn't be living like I haven't been transformed. I SHOULD be new, I SHOULD be different.

If people want to see the change, they should look to my past compared to my present, not somehow my present compared to my future.

This sounds so silly when I write it down, but it honestly is how I feel a lot of the time.

But yesterday, I felt a very freeing conviction.

Wholeness, freedom, purity, holiness, it's not my privilege.

Okay, it is my privilege, but it's not my option.

When I surrendered my life to Jesus, I didn't just surrender the right to sin, I also surrendered the right to choose who I want to be.

I asked Him to make me like Him, I want Him to make me like Him, so I can't tell myself lies about who He has said I am.

Even if I like it. Even if I enjoy calling myself worthless because if gives me a feeling of humility. It's false humility. It's actually sin for me to dwell there, because God has given me a place to dwell, and I am abandoning it to live in the shell of what sin had given me.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. (Galatians 5:1)

The command here is just that. A command. It's not an option. DO NOT be entangled again with a yoke of bondage! You don't have to, so don't.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (II Corinthians 5:17 NKJV)

The Last Week

My next blog post will be written after a week at home.

Time flies! I can't believe these two months are nearly over. This has been an amazing experience.

But I'm still here, and we're still busy, so I'll tell you about it.

We finished our room! I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that we were painting it. Well, we finished it, but then we decided it needed a little sprucing up. 

White walls are a little boring, you know, and it's Christmas, and we had all of this leftover paint-splattered lime green tape from the walls, so we figured, what better use for it? It became bows of varying sizes stuck onto the walls, (I highly recommend decorating with tape, by the way, the stickiness is very handy) and a little something extra on the mistletoe ball. And a lightswitch decoration. And a candle decoration. And a random massive ball hanging from the ceiling. It's like duct tape, it has a million purposes!

So, to the tune of Christmas Song by Alvin and the Chipmunks, our proud teacher and hostesses were introduced to our masterpiece. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, they were so moved.

Okay, they didn't cry. But they did say it was unique. That should count for something.

So what shall I tell you of next?

Should I talk about the baby carrot, the crazy trick I almost learned, or Niagara on the Lake?

Those are all great stories, but I think I'll just talk about Niagara on the Lake today.

Neither myself nor my sisters had ever been to Niagara on the Lake, so Rachel and Carolyn (if you don't know who they are by now, they're my sister and second cousin/dance teacher) decided it was an outing that had to happen before we left.

We went on Thursday, which was right after a huge snowfall Wednesday evening. The weather was clear, but the snow was still everywhere, it was BEAUTIFUL. It was like the picture of Christmas.

After looking through the first shop, where I fell in love with more than one overpriced teabox and travel mug, we were met by the others in our group bearing peace on earth and good will toward men. Chai lattes for all.

We moved on and had a splendid time looking through all the shops. I tried on a blue hat with a peacock feather on it, and wished I had money to spend on all kinds of teacups, jewelry, and other things.

We walked into the Scottish shop, and I wished my whole family was there. I picked out items I'd love to buy for my dad, my brother, and my sister.

It's a good thing I'm not rich. But when I'm in a Scottish shop, it doesn't seem like such a terrible idea.

We also found a chocolate bar as big as my leg, if not bigger. It was fabulous.

However, there was a certain point in our journeys when I found something I wanted to buy.

After I overcame my fear of talking to the cashier, I was then faced with my insecurity of being the only one who had made a purchase.

"It's okay," I told myself. "They'll buy stuff too, they just haven't found anything yet."

Well, we move onto the next store, and what should I see but the PERFECT gift for someone else, sitting right in front of my nose, and at an affordable price.

AAHHH!!! My emotions. I wanted to buy it, but I didn't want to make ANOTHER purchase when no one else had bought anything yet! Well, in the end, I overcame my insecurity, (or at least pressed it down for a bit, it came back later) and bought it as well.

I am still amazed at myself for doing such a daring thing. TWICE! #noshame #butdontjudgeme #orImighthavesomeshame

As I conclude my last post of this trip, I'm just going to say that God has been so good to me. I've gone through a wide variety of emotions while being here, I've had moments of frustration and encouragement, sadness and joy, loneliness and lovedness, (that's a poor way to say it, but I can't think of how else to phrase that) discomfort and comfortableness, but I have never felt strained.

God told me at the beginning of this adventure that He meant it as a resting place for me, and though I've been challenged, I've never felt pushed. Though I've given of myself, I've never felt spent, and though I've been stressed, there has never been an absence of peace.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

I feel very much refreshed, and better equipped to go home and take up the cross that awaits me there.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. (Matthew 16:24)

But in my last few days, I'm still leaning back and letting God work. We have our last performance on Sunday, and a huge rehearsal tomorrow, which is why I'm posting this early.

I just...ahh. I want to tell you all about how good Jesus is. How sweet it is to just relax and be where He is. But really, I can't tell you, I need to learn it still. Please learn it with me though, because I know that it is wonderful, and you will never spend your time better.

I woke up at 3:30 a couple nights ago, and saw that the fire had gone out. (our fireplace is across from the couch where I sleep) So I got up and went to build it again, and as I rose off of the couch, I realized, "Me and Jesus are the only ones up right now." 

I just decided to focus on Him, and build the fire with the awareness that He was with me, watching me. Helping me, I believe, because that fire started beautifully, and I am not good at it on the first try.

When I went and laid down again, I looked at it with satisfaction, and just had this feeling that He was enjoying it too.

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. (John 15:9)